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I highlighted the last portion of your post for a reason, you are out of line. Have you ever been abused? By anyone? If you had you would know that many times abuse by parents to children go unreported, you have no idea what it is like to live in fear, that the people you are supposed to trust the most, are the ones who are hurting you and that you have no place to go or noone to turn to. I sure hope you NEVER have an instance to counsel a child who has been abused, I have a feeling you would do more harm than good.
The part about living in fear is certainly understandable but having no place to go or nobody to turn to doesn't make sense. Law enforcement exists for a reason, CPS exists for a reason, crisis centers exist for a reason.
Look, I didn't mean to come across as heartless or out of line about your situation but these kinds of incidents should never go unreported. People that do nothing about it are part of the problem, and reporting it is the only way to nip it in the bud and help the victims escape their hellish environments.
If I found out someone close to me was being sexually abused I'd be demanding details----who the abuser is, any kind of evidence or proof, and then I'd literally be beating him black and blue! I'm not kidding either because that's the kind of outspoken, take-action person I am.
To your last paragraph, I can assure you that it doesn't happen that way. I can 100% assure you. And I'm going to do my best to do as YAC asked....which is not easy because my blood is boiling right now: You never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever blame the child for it. EVER. And I mean NEVER.
That's all I can say without getting myself tossed out of here.
Nobody should ever ever ever ever have to endure sexual abuse, and it should never ever ever ever go unreported. If it's brought to the attention of the police or CPS when it happens-not 10 or 20 years later-the sick demented b@stards doing the molesting would be behind bars where they belong.
That's all I can say regarding your statements.
1 : concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
2 : arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others <a selfish act>
3 : being an actively replicating repetitive sequence of nucleic acid that serves no known function <selfish DNA>; also : being genetic material solely concerned with its own replication <selfish genes>
^^
This perfectly describes a lot of adult children that find it beneath them, too burdening, time-consuming, inconvenient, or difficult to assist their elderly parents.
As I said earlier, I realize everyone has different life situations but the majority of people came from non-abusive relatively stable households, and really have no legitimate excuses to neglect their elderly parents. These are the adult children I'm mostly referring to, not the ones from abusive homes.
One day these ingrates will become old and frail themselves and will need extra care. If they find themselves alone with nobody to lend a helping hand then they'll get a taste of their own medicine.
Not trying to be insensitive but you know anyone can claim they were molested, abused, beaten, or traumatized as a child.
Sexual abuse is inexcusable, but if someone notified the proper authorities then your father could've been arrested and the abuse would've ceased. Did you ever call the police or tell your school teachers, counselor, or principal what was going on? If you didn't then you're as bad as your mother for letting it happen. Nobody-child or adult-should have to endure that kind of bullsh1t.
As the thread continues, remember to remain calm and respectful. If you don't the thread might get closed and you might end up with a several day long posting restriction.
Remember you're exchanging opinions and we're all allowed to have one, regardless of what it is and whether others agree with it.
Yac.
Even with the moderator warning, the craziness continues...
The part about living in fear is certainly understandable but having no place to go or nobody to turn to doesn't make sense. Law enforcement exists for a reason, CPS exists for a reason, crisis centers exist for a reason.
Look, I didn't mean to come across as heartless or out of line about your situation but these kinds of incidents should never go unreported. People that do nothing about it are part of the problem, and reporting it is the only way to nip it in the bud and help the victims escape their hellish environments.
If I found out someone close to me was being sexually abused I'd be demanding details----who the abuser is, any kind of evidence or proof, and then I'd literally be beating him black and blue! I'm not kidding either because that's the kind of outspoken, take-action person I am.
The reason this doesn't make sense to you is because you have never been the victim of abuse and sadly child and sexual abuse goes unreported everyday, many times a day. If you have never been a victim then you don't and never will understand. You don't understand that the two people in this world that are supposed to love you and protect you, didn't, so for you to tell me I am part of the problem because I didn't report it, is ridiculous.
Reading your posts it is very obvious that you don't understand the dynamics of sexual abuse, child abuse or spousal abuse, the fear, humiliation, and the idea that maybe you are the problem, maybe you are unlovable and that is why it is happening. Maybe you were bad and did something to deserve it.
So I really and truly hope that as long as you hold your beliefs that if someone fails to report abuse, then they are part of the problem, that you are never put in a situation where you offer advice to the victim, because in my book you would do more harm than good.
You should be grateful everyday that you don't know the pain of being abused by those who are supposed to love you, the people you are supposed to be able to trust.
Nobody should ever ever ever ever have to endure sexual abuse, and it should never ever ever ever go unreported. If it's brought to the attention of the police or CPS when it happens-not 10 or 20 years later-the sick demented b@stards doing the molesting would be behind bars where they belong.
That's all I can say regarding your statements.
Again, you do NOT know what you're talking about. Some of us know very well. There have been situations where it DOES get reported, and NOTHING IS DONE. I know that for a FACT. You have NO idea what it is like to a be a child and have a parent abuse you. I suggest that you stop while you're behind before you get behind any further.
The comments in this thread and the other active thread in this forum right now are incredibly saddening. I cannot imagine what would lead anyone to come on the Internet to take jabs at posters who are reaching out to others to deal with the pain of abuse, the imminent loss of loved ones, or the stress of caregiving. I hope the targets of these hurtful remarks can filter them out and that those posting them will have a change of heart. Or a power outage.
Not trying to be insensitive but you know anyone can claim they were molested, abused, beaten, or traumatized as a child.
Sexual abuse is inexcusable, but if someone notified the proper authorities then your father could've been arrested and the abuse would've ceased. Did you ever call the police or tell your school teachers, counselor, or principal what was going on? If you didn't then you're as bad as your mother for letting it happen. Nobody-child or adult-should have to endure that kind of bullsh1t.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow
To your last paragraph, I can assure you that it doesn't happen that way. I can 100% assure you. And I'm going to do my best to do as YAC asked....which is not easy because my blood is boiling right now: You never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever blame the child for it. EVER. And I mean NEVER.
That's all I can say without getting myself tossed out of here.
raindance, I can give an example that still haunts me almost 30 years later. I was a teacher and one of my students, age 8, was showing "odd behaviors". No one could figure quite out what was wrong and she was not able to articulate to me, the school counselor or to her parents what was wrong. We knew something was bothering her, something was wrong, but no one could figure out what it was.
About six years later her mother unexpectedly came home early and found her oldest son (age 22 or so ) raping his sister (my former student, now about 14). The son admitted that he had been sexually abusing his little sister since she was a preschooler. The sexual abuse progressed to rape. He threatened to kill her and to kill their parents and siblings if she ever told anyone. And, she truly believed that he would kill her and the others if she told as he had told her that for ten years.
raindance, do you really think that under circumstances like that this a little, severely traumatized girl would actually tell someone? Even after the police were called and her brother was arrested I was told that she was still terrified that he would get out of jail and kill her and her family.
raindance, I can give an example that still haunts me almost 30 years later. I was a teacher and one of my students, age 8, was showing "odd behaviors". No one could figure quite out what was wrong and she was not able to articulate to me, the school counselor or to her parents what was wrong. We knew something was bothering her, something was wrong, but no one could figure out what it was.
About six years later her mother unexpectedly came home early and found her oldest son (age 22 or so ) raping his sister (my former student, now about 14). The son admitted that he had been sexually abusing his little sister since she was a preschooler. The sexual abuse progressed to rape. He threatened to kill her and to kill their parents and siblings if she ever told anyone. And, she truly believed that he would kill her and the others if she told as he had told her that for ten years.
raindance, do you really think that under circumstances like that this a little, severely traumatized girl would actually tell someone? Even after the police were called and her brother was arrested I was told that she was still terrified that he would get out of jail and kill her and her family.
The fear and trauma is very real in those situations and that's why the victims need help and the offenders need to be castrated and locked up for life.
Let me ask you this----
Did this 8 year-old's teacher heed the warnings and attempt to get involved or at least look into the matter? Did her teacher ever stop to think this poor girl with odd behaviors might need help?
In order for action to be taken against the molesters and for their victims to get the help they need, more people need to get involved including the teachers, counselors, or anyone that deals with children on a regular basis.
I repeat, sex crimes should never ever ever ever go unreported because the b@stards committing the crimes will keep on victimizing.
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