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Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
Oh wow, so you're going through chemo right now - I didn't realize that! I sure do hope you are done and on the road to a cancer free recovery by Christmas. Best present in the world.
Thanks for the personal insight. I feel so sorry for my brother - you'd have to know this 6'5" Marine to truly grasp how tough and "unafraid" he is of anything. He's definitely most comfortable in the Hero role, so this is tough on him from that perspective as well. But your words help me realize that there's life during and after chemo and hopefully I can watch my brother recognize this as well.
Please pass on the following to your brother and his wife.
The side effects of chemo are listed as a general side effect list. Definitely have him read over the paperwork they will give him that relates to the exact regime he will be on. Let him know that not everyone will get all those side effects but some are definitely more common. The severity will differ from person to person.
He needs to be sure to tell his oncologist whenever one pops up. There may be meds that will help with those. For example: One of the chemo drugs gives me thrush type stuff in my mouth. I told the doc as soon as I noticed and told her I was rinsing with saltwater to try to get rid of it. She prescribed this stuff called 'Magic Mouthwash'. It takes a few days of using it then the stuff in my mouth goes away. Food tastes good again
It is very important to get his weight within a healthy range. Protein drinks, shakes or even a powder to mix with liquids that he likes will help. I actually can tolerate a vanilla protein powder mixed with orange juice. I'm a really picky eater so that doesn't help my situation at all!
While on chemo, try to drink a LOT of liquid. It will dehydrate you very quickly. Added benefit of liquids: it helps flush the crap out of your system. My goal is a gallon a day but rarely hit that (like never). I can generally get to 70-90 ounces a day. I log all my liquid and protein intake each day.
They may prescribe anti-nausea meds, if not, ask for them. It's better to get them in you before feeling sick. I only need one pill the second day after chemo. Example: chemo is on Thursday, I need to take a pill in the afternoon on Saturday. I haven't needed one Sunday and am good till the next chemo session.
Please, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to pm me.
Hugs to your brother and his wife. There's a battle ahead and he needs to get his mind into battle and CONQUER mode.
Oh, and exercise is important. Walking, walking, walking. I've now taken up bike riding too
Please pass on the following to your brother and his wife.
The side effects of chemo are listed as a general side effect list. Definitely have him read over the paperwork they will give him that relates to the exact regime he will be on. Let him know that not everyone will get all those side effects but some are definitely more common. The severity will differ from person to person.
He needs to be sure to tell his oncologist whenever one pops up. There may be meds that will help with those. For example: One of the chemo drugs gives me thrush type stuff in my mouth. I told the doc as soon as I noticed and told her I was rinsing with saltwater to try to get rid of it. She prescribed this stuff called 'Magic Mouthwash'. It takes a few days of using it then the stuff in my mouth goes away. Food tastes good again
It is very important to get his weight within a healthy range. Protein drinks, shakes or even a powder to mix with liquids that he likes will help. I actually can tolerate a vanilla protein powder mixed with orange juice. I'm a really picky eater so that doesn't help my situation at all!
While on chemo, try to drink a LOT of liquid. It will dehydrate you very quickly. Added benefit of liquids: it helps flush the crap out of your system. My goal is a gallon a day but rarely hit that (like never). I can generally get to 70-90 ounces a day. I log all my liquid and protein intake each day.
They may prescribe anti-nausea meds, if not, ask for them. It's better to get them in you before feeling sick. I only need one pill the second day after chemo. Example: chemo is on Thursday, I need to take a pill in the afternoon on Saturday. I haven't needed one Sunday and am good till the next chemo session.
Please, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to pm me.
Hugs to your brother and his wife. There's a battle ahead and he needs to get his mind into battle and CONQUER mode.
Oh, and exercise is important. Walking, walking, walking. I've now taken up bike riding too
Wow, thank you - this is all really good advice and I am going to print it out and send it to him if you don't mind.
I just talked with him and he was crying = he was sort of embarrassed but he said, "Wow, I've just been so emotional since that surgery!" I said, "Well, you've been through hell and looked death right in the eye and that's scary. I'd think there was something wrong with you if you WEREN'T emotional. Also - it's the general anesthesia - it messes with your head some."
He laughed (while still being all choked up) but it was good to hear him laugh.
He was very breathless from just the exertion of talking. I told him after about ten minutes that I was going to let him rest and we'd talk tomorrow. Honestly, he sounds very weak.
I can't wait to see him. I told him "I need to lay my eyes on you!"
Seriously? You are presuming to know what she does with her time? You just assume that because she's not working, she can just go hang out with Crazy Mama all the time? I abhor it people make assumptions about other people's responsibilities. Who are you to decide how KA spends her time? This is one of the fundamental issues with caregiving -- other people seem to think they get a say in how much a caregiver does.
Me? What mountain did I make? Oh, maybe you meant you and the others who fly in here in a snit when they mis-read things said seem to them to possibly be critical. Lordy. The drama of it all.
Back in the drama. Don't know why this keeps happening to you.
I do a lot more than I chronicle here. I actually have a whole life that I try to keep independent of my Adventures With Mom. It's a daily battle to maintain those boundaries but it's one I'm winning!
In fact, that's one reason why I post updates - because I get a lot of feedback from others regarding the progression of things, good and bad. Including setbacks and advances. One of those advances is that I've been able to slowly regain my footing and elements of my life "before all this," such as getting more exercise, going to some helpful counseling, changing up my diet so that I am taking better care of my own health, etc. Yes, it's minutia, and yes, it's baby steps but I talk about those little things to show a sort of progression - from feeling overwhelmed with shock and grief and responsibilities, to slowly regaining my life and my peace of mind.
And then the setbacks, such as my brother's issues, and my mom's inevitable decline - how I handle those things, the advice I am hoping to get, my thoughts (which go back and forth sometimes) - I think this is all just life and actually pretty normal for people who are my age. And my husband and I were talking about this last night over dinner - you know, we never really thought about how much loss getting older inevitably brings - how much grief, sickness, fear, death, so many tough decisions. We honestly never gave any of this much serious thought till we were gobsmacked by it. So I share a lot of personal details because honestly, I don't think my story is all that uncommon, and not only can I possibly help someone else - I know I receive a lot of helpful feedback from many forum members as well.
You need not explain this to us. We look forward to your posts daily. Ignore the questions. You've got no explaining to do here.
Depending how quickly he heals from his surgery, not so much as in how active he is but more on the incision healing. I figure a good month before chemo. So figure approximately Beginning to mid November for start of chemo. Generally it's 12 rounds every two weeks. BUT(!) it could be a different chemo regime. Hopefully they will do genetic and other tests on the mass to figure out the Best course of treatment.
If he does do the 12 rounds, figure May'ish if nothing interrupts the schedule. Things do crop up that happen. Mine was interrupted for a month (talk about nerve wrecking) when I had to skip a session for a sinus/cold/ sickness I contracted from my grandkids and then Irma came through and the center was closed on the day I was supposed to resume. So now I'm extended another month. Hopefully I'll be done before Christmas. Now that would be the most excellent gift...chemo and cancer free.
I sure hope that works for you, to be finished before Christmas! What a gift!
You need not explain this to us. We look forward to your posts daily. Ignore the questions. You've got no explaining to do here.
If people may not ask questions or give feed-back, then this thread is a diary, and not the proper place for such. I hope you are not suggesting that is the case.
I went to my Mom's apartment yesterday and we had a nice little visit together, once we got past her arguing about taking her ONE PRESCRIPTION.
When I got there, it was "Happy Hour" and the place was filled with very good live music and the main gathering area was full, and people were dancing. As usual, my mom was laying on her sofa dozing. I said, "You're missing some great music!" but she seemed uninterested in going down there to listen to it. I mean, she had to have known it was going on because you could hear the music from her room. She doesn't seem to be involving herself in many activities there which is too bad but I guess that's what she wants.
Anyway, I told her exactly what my husband and I decided I should tell her about my brother. I told her "He's very sick and has a long recovery ahead of him." She exclaimed "Oh no!" and said she'd tried to call him several times but he had not answered - I think she was trying to call him when he was in the hospital. Anyway, she didn't ask any further questions and so that was it.
I also told her that we would be going to see her sisters for her birthday this weekend and she got super excited about that! So that's something for her to look forward to.
After I told her that I just wasn't going to argue with her about her medication, she stopped talking about them. But not before she said, "You just don't understand how upsetting it is to take medicine that you know isn't working." I said, "Mom. You're taking ONE SMALL DOSAGE PILL. It works. I'm sorry you can't feel the difference but other people can see the difference. It helps you sleep, it helps your appetite, it helps calm your anxiety, you don't go around pacing 24/7 - it works. But I'm not going to sit here and argue anymore with you about it." She just sat there, sort of half propped up, and gave me that lidded slanty eyed look she gives anyone she thinks is 1) lying to her, 2) "from the government," 3) naive, or 4) liberal.
Other than her usual strange ways, she seemed contented and interactive and happily talkative. She seemed to enjoy the visit, her apartment looked fairly clean, and her cat bidness was caught up with and the cat was running around doing her cat hide and seek stuff. So it was a pretty good visit.
I talked with my brother last night and wow, he was emotional. He said he felt embarrassed but he can't stop crying and choking up every time he talks to anyone. I was joking with him and said "Well, I talked with our brother but he probably won't call you because he's scared of you." We've made that joke over and over again in the past, but this time he got choked up and said, "You know, I don't know why he's so scared of me - I can't think of anything I've ever done to him that was mean or threatening." I said, "Scared is the wrong word - he's intimidated by you. But I just wanted you to know that if he's not calling you, he IS worried about you and calling me every other day wanting an update and telling me how concerned he is for you, and I do believe him."
I asked him if he'd learned anything new from the doctor before he checked out, and he just skirted that question and said, "Well I go back the 24th and if I'm healed up they're going to start the chemo." So either they haven't talked about the actual prognosis or he's not going to share that with me right now. Not sure which.
KA, your visit with your mom sounds promising! And the facility sounds fun.
It must be sad to hear your brother so emotional and scared. He has been thrown into a confusing new world and everything is so uncertain.
Hang in there! And thanks for the daily log of activities.
You're very welcome!
I'm waiting on a package from Amazon but I don't guess anyone wants to hear about that.
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