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Kudos to you. Personally, I don't want any relations with my neighbors whatsoever. I live in an upper middle class, high income, very highly educated, 85% white neighborhood that is overall conservative. A new young couple just bought and moved into the house next door to mine two months ago and we still never met. Today, we were both outside doing yard work and we repeatedly came within 20 feet of each other and I absolutely refused to make any eye contact or acknowledge his existence. I have nothing to gain from introducing myself to them whatsoever. So they bought a house that happens to be next door. Big freaking deal. They seem like the perfect couple and everything in their life is great. I can't stand people like that and refuse to give them the time of day. Plus, they have southern accents and drive nothing but pickup trucks. They're probably millennial right wingers. Smh. I refuse to talk to right wingers. They were only good for causing my home value to surge even more, now that their house is a comp.
I'm just not a people person. I'm not interested in strangers or going to bars or networking or anything of that nature. I am a misanthrope who despises humans in general. I'm 37 now and that's always how I've been and probably how I will always be. Oh well. I am who I am.
Oh wow, CT throwback...Hi Nep!
Anyhow, in regards to OP....
I think that it really is what you want to make of it. I grew up in lower FFLD County and lived everywhere from Darien to New Haven, before I moved out to LA. I never had an issue making friends--when I wanted to. I still don't. I do get how it can be harder in closer knit communities, where people have known each other forever...but it is still possible.
I'm sorry it's been so rough for you and hope you find a good spot!
Unfriendly?? in FCounty? you kidding. I wish. Sometimes that's a good thing. I've ghosted more friends than Casper. Some still won't leave me alone.
LOL....Honestly, same. When I come back to visit, I don't even tell a large amount of people. I would have NO time to do things myself or with my family! I have to pick and chose.
Kudos to you. Personally, I don't want any relations with my neighbors whatsoever. I live in an upper middle class, high income, very highly educated, 85% white neighborhood that is overall conservative. A new young couple just bought and moved into the house next door to mine two months ago and we still never met. Today, we were both outside doing yard work and we repeatedly came within 20 feet of each other and I absolutely refused to make any eye contact or acknowledge his existence. I have nothing to gain from introducing myself to them whatsoever. So they bought a house that happens to be next door. Big freaking deal. They seem like the perfect couple and everything in their life is great. I can't stand people like that and refuse to give them the time of day. Plus, they have southern accents and drive nothing but pickup trucks. They're probably millennial right wingers. Smh. I refuse to talk to right wingers. They were only good for causing my home value to surge even more, now that their house is a comp.
I'm just not a people person. I'm not interested in strangers or going to bars or networking or anything of that nature. I am a misanthrope who despises humans in general. I'm 37 now and that's always how I've been and probably how I will always be. Oh well. I am who I am.
Dear OP:
Please don't give up.
Although I'm in Pittsburgh now, I lived in CT--once in FFC and once in Hartford county. I hope to return.
I also had relocated from NY and it wasn't easy.
I was homesick and I'm thinking you might be also. Change is hard and old friends, places and routines are comforting---especially during a pandemic.
It might be worthwhile to connect with other women who have transitioned from NY. The pandemic has created a large number of people just like you who would appreciate meeting kindred spirits.
Start a meet-up group for NY Transplants--both moms and non-moms. Make a Facebook page. Schedule a coffee meet 'n greet and see who shows up. Misery loves company lol And maybe a few new friends may come out of it.
I wish you luck.
OP: I’m sorry you aren’t finding your people in Westport. It could be partially due to Covid (not sure when you moved there), but also it’s just HARD finding people you truly connect with, especially when you are in the season of life with toddlers as they take so much of who you are. I moved to New Canaan last August and while I have made a few friends here, it doesn’t feel like best friends, just people I can get coffee with and chat with about our kids. I’ve always heard it gets better with elementary aged kids also. What has helped me is joining the newcomers group- in NC its SUPER active (our board has like 35 ish members, it’s huge)- so perhaps something similar in Westport? I’ve also met a few moms I liked through my toddlers gym classes, swim classes etc.
Good luck OP! I’ve met a number of Westport moms who seemed really down to earth and sweet so I’m hoping you find a good tribe eventually
We just sold in Darien, hated it here. Was soulless. People materialistic, unhappy, competitive, unengaging unfriendly, etc. Was a long time coming and probably never should have moved here from SF Bay, but did well financially on the house so that helps. Looking at Bedford, NY. seems understated and more chill with NYC access.
We just sold in Darien, hated it here. Was soulless. People materialistic, unhappy, competitive, unengaging unfriendly, etc. Was a long time coming and probably never should have moved here from SF Bay, but did well financially on the house so that helps. Looking at Bedford, NY. seems understated and more chill with NYC access.
I hear you. Consider yourself lucky. You were able to escape. I wasn't as fortunate. These people worship the ground I walk on and I have no idea why. They won't leave me alone. I've tried everything from ghosting to 7 or 8 claims of COVID infection. They caught on. Just when I thought I got out, they pull me back in - this friday coming up, big dinner party at a McMansion to spread some Holiday cheer and omicron, and I fell for it, again.
Looking at Bedford, NY. seems understated and more chill with NYC access.
Typical of more affluent rural towns. Weston and Easton are the same vibe. Not sure you’re going to find the friendly neighbor vibe there, but it’ll be less showy and quieter. The only downside with Bedford, which has a picture perfect center, are the huge property taxes.
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