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Some of you on this thread seem to lump this mother with all the other parents you've come across who don't discipline their kids. Yes, I have seen some parents who let their kids run amok, but they are few and far between. And I go out to eat a lot more than the average person. People need to stop projecting all their experiences onto others. You don't know what the mother did or did not do, but you do know the business owner screamed at a screaming 2-year old. You tell me who's the undisciplined one.
If the mother's version of the story is correct, and the 2-year old cried for 4 minutes, and some of you can't handle a child's crying for 4 minutes, perhaps you shouldn't be around children. She's 2 for heaven's sake. The OP mentioned she can't be around loud noises. She needs to stay away from family restaurants then. Between the kitchen, the music, the families talking, the eating, whatever, things are going to get loud.
The business owner's complaint didn't even focus on the child crying as it did about some other nonsense that I can't even make sense of. The business owner used profanity throughout her post, which was much more volatile than the mother's. The business owner has a public image to maintain, and if her judgment is so poor that her response is this vitriolic, she has no business being around children or even working with the public. I am not joking when I say I wouldn't want her around my cat or plant.
No one on this thread has condoned undisciplined children. So please let's not twist any of this into "you'd let your kid go crazy in a restaurant".
I hate to say it, but it boils down to selfishness. Some of you don't care if a manager screams in someone's face if it means you enjoy a quite meal. I would like to see how some of you would take being screamed at the next time a stranger thinks you're mishandling something.
I actually saw an interview with the restaurant owner, and what you are stating is not the account she gave. She said the parents ordered three huge pancakes for the toddler. Then they would not let the kid have the pancakes, which is why she was crying. The woman asked them to quiet the kid. She said it went on for almost an hour before she lost it.
She is not apologizing and said she might have been more diplomatic, but she lost it. It seems like a reasonable reaction to me. I would have lost it sooner. We've all been on flights or in stores with a kid crying on and on and the parent is distracted and shushes the kid every once in a while, but it just keeps going. It's bad enough in a non-stressful environment, but if you are a business owner (and the restaurant business is indeed stressful) and stressed, it is easy to understand.
It is not selfish at all to want parents to discipline their kids and teach them to respect others, especially in a public place.
Nope!
I never stated that, actually.
I also am very annoyed by children whose parents are lax regarding how they deal with loud tantrums and other annoying behaviors.
However, it seems that many people were offended by the way that the restaurant owner in Portland dealt with the situation. Thus, the easiest solution for her is to take the approach of at least a couple of current GOP candidates for POTUS, who are apparently excused for anything that they say, simply because they claim that they "tell it like it is".
OK?
Understand?
NO ONE is excusing Trump. He is getting blasted. Christie is quite unpopular too.
I know you don't like Christie (or the GOP apparently), but seriously?
My mother has admitted that a crying/tantrum-throwing child is one of the most irritating, maddening noises. And, she's a wonderful lady, patient beyond my own patience, which, in truth, is limited.
I have ADHD and a physical condition that causes even loud noises to be painful, so it especially bothers me.
I can't imagine trying to dine and chat with those with me while some child is screaming for nearly an hour and for such a petty reason! That's a tantrum! So, without a doubt, I would back the manager! If an adult was stirring up things, s/he wouldn't last that long!
Me? I'd be screaming back at the child! I saw a mother do that once in a mall, and the child stopped in a second, looking at her wide-eyed. She demanded, "How do YOU like that?!" There was just a moment of silence, then EVERYONE started laughing~mother, child, friends with them, and the clerks and customers who had been watching the confrontation. I think there might have been some applause mixed in.
When a child is carrying on at Walmart or elsewhere, I generally give them a dagger-look. Guess what? They immediately stop throwing a fit! Meanwhile, the parents have been ignoring the child and not bothering to hush him/her. But, a look from a stranger stops the racket. Trust me, I am not a fierce-looking person, so it would HAVE to work for the parents if it works for 5'1" me.
As a restaurant worker, I'm totally behind what the owner did.
I've seen some of the worst examples of parenting at my job. I've seen kids allowed to roam around near their table, almost tripping someone carrying a huge tray. Many parents don't care if their children make a huge mess around them, they figure, hey, why bother? We don't have to clean that up!
What is with this new generation of parents that think their little urchins are deserving of special consideration with no limits attached?
I'm not getting this at all; when did eating out become a pleasurable event for two idiot parents ignoring a screaming child? Are they challenging surrounding people to object and getting some pleasure out of that? All those fellow patrons are forced to behave in a considerate fashion while those parents hi-jack their enjoyment?
First, Cremebrulee, I would back the restaurant owner. that answers your first and main question.
But you just know this is a divisive issue! FOR SURE it is a HOT BUTTON TOPIC. You are asking for opinions! I will offer mine:
Sorry, but I don't have kids, and I am against ANY parent who cannot or WILL NOT control their child.
1} parents, by the age of two, should know what it is that is bothering the child, and should take steps to remedy the issue tout suite {very fast}. In this case, the child most probably wanted FOOD. That WAS the whole purpose of being at the restaurant, right?????????????????? WHY oh WHY deny the child the food?
2} too many parents are ignorant if they think their screaming/acting out child is NOT disturbing OTHERS.
3} I think many parents are SO USED to the child's screaming and tantrums they don't even notice it. {perhaps that should excuse them? I think not}. To many parents, the sound of their child's voice is *music to a parent's ears*"...do they not know it can be bothersome to others???? Are they THAT DUMB?
4}In all cases , a parent should have juice, crackers, diapers and some 'toy' for the child to amuse themselves with and to comfort the child,,,,they should know that by age two!
5} The restaurant owner DID put up with it for about an hour,,, perhaps not so diplomatic, but I MIGHT have reacted that way too!
6} I think parents who allow their child to scream for more than 5 minutes should be cited with a ticket appearance for CHILD NEGLECT. They are neglecting their child's NEED, whatever it may be, food, drink, NAP, whatever....
7} How many of you on the *parents side* will also COMPLAIN when your neighbor's dog barks all night keeping you awake???? GOT IT NOW????
Example; I was at Disney World, the Happiest Place on Earth....and it started to POUR in the Animal Kingdom Park.
They herded us all into the Lion King pavilion for safety and to fill the venue for the next live action show.
I sat on the bleacher-bench seat benches { no back to them}, just a long bench,,,,they had along with everyone else. Suddenly, WHOMP...WHOMP,WHOMP, some {about 2 or 3 year old} little girl behind me started KICKING ME IN THE BACK.
Now I have a bad degenerating back already, and get around with a cane, so it was doubly troubling to me! DO YOU THINK THE MOTHER STOPPED HER??? NO!!!!! I checked my watch to see how long it would be til the start of the show, and to note just how long this MOTHER was going to allow her *precious little charmer* to KICK ME IN THE BACK . I looked back SEVERAL times, asked her to STOP, and finally, TEN minutes LATER, still WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP. SHOES to my BACK and my degenerating SPINE. I had had it! I was ABOUT to get up and face the mother and tell her a thing or two {and it would NOT have been appropriate for the *happiest place on earth*, I tell Ya!}, when the cast members came over and shoved us all down to make room for more guests...that put me out of her reach, finally...BUT when I GOT up, I turned around and GLARED AT THE MOTHER,,,she GOT THE HINT.
WOULD YOU ALLOW YOUR CHILD to do that to an old man with a cane?????
Now, I ASK YOU, was that FAIR TOME???
WOULD YOU WANT IT DONE TO YOU???
If you cannot control your child, DON'T take them out in public! If they start to act out, TAKE THEM OUTSIDE OR HOME!
First, Cremebrulee, I would back the restaurant owner. that answers your first and main question.
But you just know this is a divisive issue! FOR SURE it is a HOT BUTTON TOPIC. You are asking for opinions! I will offer mine:
Sorry, but I don't have kids, and I am against ANY parent who cannot or WILL NOT control their child.
1} parents, by the age of two, should know what it is that is bothering the child, and should take steps to remedy the issue tout suite {very fast}. In this case, the child most probably wanted FOOD. That WAS the whole purpose of being at the restaurant, right?????????????????? WHY oh WHY deny the child the food?
2} too many parents are ignorant if they think their screaming/acting out child is NOT disturbing OTHERS.
3} I think many parents are SO USED to the child's screaming and tantrums they don't even notice it. {perhaps that should excuse them? I think not}. To many parents, the sound of their child's voice is *music to a parent's ears*"...do they not know it can be bothersome to others???? Are they THAT DUMB?
4}In all cases , a parent should have juice, crackers, diapers and some 'toy' for the child to amuse themselves with and to comfort the child,,,,they should know that by age two!
5} The restaurant owner DID put up with it for about an hour,,, perhaps not so diplomatic, but I MIGHT have reacted that way too!
6} I think parents who allow their child to scream for more than 5 minutes should be cited with a ticket appearance for CHILD NEGLECT. They are neglecting their child's NEED, whatever it may be, food, drink, NAP, whatever....
7} How many of you on the *parents side* will also COMPLAIN when your neighbor's dog barks all night keeping you awake???? GOT IT NOW????
Example; I was at Disney World, the Happiest Place on Earth....and it started to POUR in the Animal Kingdom Park.
They herded us all into the Lion King pavilion for safety and to fill the venue for the next live action show.
I sat on the bleacher-bench seat benches { no back to them}, just a long bench,,,,they had along with everyone else. Suddenly, WHOMP...WHOMP,WHOMP, some {about 2 or 3 year old} little girl behind me started KICKING ME IN THE BACK.
Now I have a bad degenerating back already, and get around with a cane, so it was doubly troubling to me! DO YOU THINK THE MOTHER STOPPED HER??? NO!!!!! I checked my watch to see how long it would be til the start of the show, and to note just how long this MOTHER was going to allow her *precious little charmer* to KICK ME IN THE BACK . I looked back SEVERAL times, asked her to STOP, and finally, TEN minutes LATER, still WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP. SHOES to my BACK and my degenerating SPINE. I had had it! I was ABOUT to get up and face the mother and tell her a thing or two {and it would NOT have been appropriate for the *happiest place on earth*, I tell Ya!}, when the cast members came over and shoved us all down to make room for more guests...that put me out of her reach, finally...BUT when I GOT up, I turned around and GLARED AT THE MOTHER,,,she GOT THE HINT.
WOULD YOU ALLOW YOUR CHILD to do that to an old man with a cane?????
Now, I ASK YOU, was that FAIR TOME???
WOULD YOU WANT IT DONE TO YOU???
If you cannot control your child, DON'T take them out in public! If they start to act out, TAKE THEM OUTSIDE OR HOME!
According to some posters here, if you yelled at the kid for kicking you in the back when her own mother wouldn't do a thing about it, after minutes of this happening nonstop or a long time off and on, that would be your fault, not your place, disrespectful, and even rude. Before you ask, I don't get it either.
Some of you on this thread seem to lump this mother with all the other parents you've come across who don't discipline their kids. Yes, I have seen some parents who let their kids run amok, but they are few and far between.
I disagree. If anything, in the forty-some years that I have been a mother I have seen increasing cases of negligent parenting. They don't come with an owner's manual so it's an ongoing learning experience, for sure.
And I want to also note that I have noticed parenting from many which is above and beyond the way it used to be done.
But these parents' behavior, right down to airing their hurt feelings and playing a minor incident for sympathy on the news, is so predictable of a type of people that I'm tempted to "lump them in"."
Many of us have completely forgotten that life can be rough and this won't be the only time baby has an unpleasant encounter with others.
I believe that a good parent prepares a child for these times by addressing the hurt feelings and then gives baby some age-appropriate rational tools for dealing with times like this rather than running interference and nurturing emotional weakness by emphasizing the unfair treatment.
No. I didn't know that when my children were two. But I let them handle as many of their scrapes and emotional bruises as they were able. It makes kids resilient.
I have to say that this couple were at least reasonable enough to still leave a tip. It's probably a new experience for them.
Was the owner selfish? Have we considered that maybe she was having an off day? That she needs to protect her source of income? I think selfish is too strong of a word here.
Daughter manages the restaurant portion of a bakery. She told me this week a mother and young boy came in. While mom shopped young boy went down the row and smashed the packages of buns with his fists. Mom saw it but did nothing to stop him.
Finally staff interceded and told the boy to stop it. Mother dropped all her potential purchases on the counter and stomped out with him in a huff. It's getting predictable. What used to be rarely seen is becoming commonplace.
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