Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This almost happened to me when I was in 8th grade or so back in like '94.
Coming from a small private school, I didn't adjust well in making new friends in the public school. Overweight and shy, I was a target for bullying. Taking books and putting them where I can't reach them, picking me upside down by my ankles, pushing me into lockers, making sneering comments regarding my weight, etc.. It was well known by the teachers as well. They just looked the other way.
I realized that the way this works is I have to fight back. So one day I was being pushed around during gym class and a group surrounded me to watch as I get beat up by this kid.
So I started fighting him back. The teacher warned that we stop or we'd both go to the detention. At that point, I didn't care anymore. If I get hurt fine, he was going to get hurt also.
Needless to say, people slowly stopped picking on me as they knew I was ready to throw down with them if they attempted.
In the real world, you have to fight back if the grown ups aren't going to intervene and help.
This almost happened to me when I was in 8th grade or so back in like '94.
Coming from a small private school, I didn't adjust well in making new friends in the public school. Overweight and shy, I was a target for bullying. Taking books and putting them where I can't reach them, picking me upside down by my ankles, pushing me into lockers, making sneering comments regarding my weight, etc.. It was well known by the teachers as well. They just looked the other way.
I realized that the way this works is I have to fight back. So one day I was being pushed around during gym class and a group surrounded me to watch as I get beat up by this kid.
So I started fighting him back. The teacher warned that we stop or we'd both go to the detention. At that point, I didn't care anymore. If I get hurt fine, he was going to get hurt also.
Needless to say, people slowly stopped picking on me as they knew I was ready to throw down with them if they attempted.
In the real world, you have to fight back if the grown ups aren't going to intervene and help.
When I had that fight in 8th grade, I don't think I'd have cared if they'd given me detention. I surely wouldn't refrain from fighting back in order to avoid detention.
When I had that fight in 8th grade, I don't think I'd have cared if they'd given me detention. I surely wouldn't refrain from fighting back in order to avoid detention.
Very strange, but coming from a private catholic school background, I was more concerned about getting in trouble with the Principal than anything. I don't know why I had such a fear of that. I guess it was because I never had any issues before and wasn't sure the penalty of the consequences. I really had no clue what 'detention' entailed, but also I didn't know what warrants expulsion, etc.. Coming from a home of a single mother struggling to make the monthly bills, I didn't know what kind of hardship me getting in trouble would put on her. That was another thing I remember.
Last edited by toobusytoday; 08-22-2016 at 07:07 AM..
Reason: fixed typo. Principal is proper noun, principle is regular noun
Very strange, but coming from a private catholic school background, I was more concerned about getting in trouble with the Principal than anything. I don't know why I had such a fear of that. I guess it was because I never had any issues before and wasn't sure the penalty of the consequences. I really had no clue what 'detention' entailed, but also I didn't know what warrants expulsion, etc.. Coming from a home of a single mother struggling to make the monthly bills, I didn't know what kind of hardship me getting in trouble would put on her. That was another thing I remember.
I had a fear of getting into trouble up to a certain point in school also. Like you, I don't know why either. Once I got to high school, I started to want to break out of that but the fear held me back for a bit. But once I got detention a few times, I saw that it was no big deal and I ended up getting detention quite a few times before I finished school. I think that once I got more comfortable with pushing limits and breaking rules, I did it more to make up for lost time.
Last edited by toobusytoday; 08-22-2016 at 07:07 AM..
I had a fear of getting into trouble up to a certain point in school also. Like you, I don't know why either. Once I got to high school, I started to want to break out of that but the fear held me back for a bit. But once I got detention a few times, I saw that it was no big deal and I ended up getting detention quite a few times before I finished school. I think that once I got more comfortable with pushing limits and breaking rules, I did it more to make up for lost time.
What all of that did ultimately wasn't beneficial for society. I became more prone to violence. I remember one time a well known wrestler was picking on a friend of mine who was smaller. When I got out of school, I heard that the guy was lapping the block saying things with intent to spread fear to my friend. He was a pretty big guy.
Long story short, I snapped at the guy. Told him to get out of the car the next lap around. Me and a friend of mine took to him pretty good. We got scrapped up, but he got the worst of it. I grew to have very little tolerance of the bullying mentality. If someone was doing this, there was going to be a fight. Not too many years after that a cook at a restaurant was playing the bully. I was the host. He came at me and I pushed him back. He clipped me in the mouth and I snapped again. Ended up breaking a couple of his ribs. It was deemed self defense on my part, which ultimately it was. So ultimately knowing how to scrap has its benefits. We don't live in a world made of roses.
From a school perspective, it's best that the grown ups pay attention and get involved if they want to condone and encourage a civilized atmosphere. Thankfully we only used fists not any other weapons. If no one does anything, the students will feel they have to take matters into their own hands.
If they didn't have detention, what type of punishment did they give? When I was in elementary school, they didn't use the term detention, but they did have the "black chairs". These were chairs in the lobby where students would have to sit if they were in trouble, so it was basically detention. Only one of the chairs was actually black, so I don't know how the term "black chairs" came into being (maybe at one time all of them were black). I remember the first time I was sent to the black chairs, I thought that I was only allowed to sit in the black one. Somebody else was already sitting there, but when I told him I had to sit in the black one, he willingly moved to a different chair. I'm surprised he didn't just explain to me that I could sit in any of them. Maybe he figured it was easier just to switch chairs.
Now here is an interesting question: if the student handbook for the high school said that the mere presence of students walking through the lobby was not allowed since it "degrades the look of the school", then at the elementary school, why did having students serving detention in the lobby not degrade the look of the school? The middle school, strangely, had the cafeteria as the lobby, so there were always students there; I guess that didn't degrade the look of the school either.
Surprised you didn't respond to this post.
Do you agree that there should not be pressure for somebody to admit to doing something wrong unless there is absolute proof that the person is guilty? Do you agree that it typically results in an innocent party confessing.
Remember I mentioned that my 2nd grade teacher absolutely hated boys. In my elementary school, every kindergarten, 1st grade, and 2nd grade classroom had a single occupancy unisex restroom attached to the classroom. In this class, occasionally, somebody would urinate on the floor. The teacher would assume that only boys were capable of doing that. So, whenever there would be urine on the floor, all of the boys in the class would not be allowed to go to recess, until somebody confessed. If I remember right, the person who confessed would only get 1 more day of no recess. Since there was zero chance that the actual guilty person would confess, what would happen is eventually, somebody who was clearly innocent would confess. An innocent person confessing would basically be exchanging one more day of no recess in exchange for no recess for the rest of the year. How can anybody seriously feel this was a good policy???
From what I heard, years later, her policy became even worse. When somebody would urinate on the bathroom floor, all of the boys who used the bathroom (as usual, only the boys) would have to line up in the order that the used it. She would then ask each boy if there was urine on the floor. Whoever was ahead in line of the first person to say yes would be considered guilty, and would have to clean the bathroom! Obviously whoever was guilty would lie so that they would get away with it, and the person ahead of them would be punished for something he did not do. Or, if somebody is behind somebody that they don't like, they can just lie so that the person they don't like gets punished. How can anybody seriously feel this was a good policy????
Many parents did complain about the 2nd policy. But, as expected, the principal would just defend the teacher.
Do you agree that there should not be pressure for somebody to admit to doing something wrong unless there is absolute proof that the person is guilty? Do you agree that it typically results in an innocent party confessing.
Remember I mentioned that my 2nd grade teacher absolutely hated boys. In my elementary school, every kindergarten, 1st grade, and 2nd grade classroom had a single occupancy unisex restroom attached to the classroom. In this class, occasionally, somebody would urinate on the floor. The teacher would assume that only boys were capable of doing that. So, whenever there would be urine on the floor, all of the boys in the class would not be allowed to go to recess, until somebody confessed. If I remember right, the person who confessed would only get 1 more day of no recess. Since there was zero chance that the actual guilty person would confess, what would happen is eventually, somebody who was clearly innocent would confess. An innocent person confessing would basically be exchanging one more day of no recess in exchange for no recess for the rest of the year. How can anybody seriously feel this was a good policy???
From what I heard, years later, her policy became even worse. When somebody would urinate on the bathroom floor, all of the boys who used the bathroom (as usual, only the boys) would have to line up in the order that the used it. She would then ask each boy if there was urine on the floor. Whoever was ahead in line of the first person to say yes would be considered guilty, and would have to clean the bathroom! Obviously whoever was guilty would lie so that they would get away with it, and the person ahead of them would be punished for something he did not do. Or, if somebody is behind somebody that they don't like, they can just lie so that the person they don't like gets punished. How can anybody seriously feel this was a good policy????
Many parents did complain about the 2nd policy. But, as expected, the principal would just defend the teacher.
Somehow I missed your earlier post. My apologies.
Reading all this, I'm glad that (a) I am done with school, and (b) I don't work in education.
My elementary school didn't have detention. Our class was pretty well behaved so I don't remember a lot of issues. They did stuff like making kids stand in the corner, stay in for recess, or write punishment compositions or lines. Even these things were rare. Most of my teachers were quite nice and I remember them fondly.
I never remember any issues with the bathroom. It is somewhat logical to think pee on the floor would be from a boy, for obvious reasons. As for the methods used, they don't sound very good. A more discreet way of handling it would have been better.
Reading all this, I'm glad that (a) I am done with school, and (b) I don't work in education.
My elementary school didn't have detention. Our class was pretty well behaved so I don't remember a lot of issues. They did stuff like making kids stand in the corner, stay in for recess, or write punishment compositions or lines. Even these things were rare. Most of my teachers were quite nice and I remember them fondly.
What about middle school?
Quote:
I never remember any issues with the bathroom. It is somewhat logical to think pee on the floor would be from a boy, for obvious reasons. As for the methods used, they don't sound very good. A more discreet way of handling it would have been better.
Although it would be easier for a boy to urinate on the floor, it could have been a girl. In fact, I often suspected that a girl was doing it, knowing that all of the boys would be punished. If it was a boy, why would he keep doing that, knowing full well that it would mean no recess until somebody else falsely confessed? Keep in mind that this was the only teacher where anybody would urinate on the bathroom floor on a regular basis; that was not even a problem in kindergarten or 1st grade, implying that it was intentional.
In any case: my main point was to say that forcing a confession (especially when the punishment for not confessing is permanent) is going to result in an innocent person confessing. Do teachers and parents not understand that or just don't care? Also, do you agree that in the scenario later in her career where she had all of the boys line up would almost certainly result in the actual perpetrator lying, and an innocent person being punished? I feel as if she just wanted to find somebody to blame, regardless of whether or not it was the right person.
I will NEVER tell my boys violence isn't the answer cause society spits in my face... It is an answer just not the 1st one that should be pursued. (Police, War, Military, etc)
Anywho, words first, tell an adult/walk away, then BRAKE FACE!!! After my child passes the baton to an adult for protection and they refuse to remedy the situation my boys know at this point they are free to defend themselves.
If ever written up in school for their actions of not being some rotten child's punching bag, I will applaud them then go grab ice cream and pizza.
I will NEVER tell my boys violence isn't the answer cause society spits in my face... It is an answer just not the 1st one that should be pursued. (Police, War, Military, etc)
Anywho, words first, tell an adult/walk away, then BRAKE FACE!!! After my child passes the baton to an adult for protection and they refuse to remedy the situation my boys know at this point they are free to defend themselves.
If ever written up in school for their actions of not being some rotten child's punching bag, I will applaud them then go grab ice cream and pizza.
After a kid named Donald picked on me for a period in excess of a year I suddenly turned on him. I pinned him to a grassy field (thus no safety issue) and flailed away at him. Guess who got sent to the principal?
And another time a kid named Charlie chased me through the school with a bike chain. Guess who got asked to leave the school? (I didn't comply).
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
