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For the record, I got spanked as a kid and I'm not emotionally disturbed at this point.
Those of you calling it abuse are complete wusses. Spatting on a kid on the fat of his butt for doing something wrong isn't abuse. It goes away after a while. Get over it. Just because a kid is spanked once or twice in his/her life doesn't mean they're going to show up on Oprah the next day.
This needs to stay an education conversation and not a personal one. We DON'T need to get into that argument, because I'm beginning to see it pop up.
Culture and society always changes. Just because "certain methods" worked well 30 years ago, does not mean they will work AS well now. Especially children are being taught at a very early age of what abuse is, and of those things. Children are learning things at a much younger age these days. Perhaps not the right things though.
What about using the method of using a "leather belt" as a form of descpline? What do you guys think about that issue?
For the record, I got spanked as a kid and I'm not emotionally disturbed at this point.
Just because something bad didn't happen to you it doesn't follow that spanking is a good idea. As parents and educators we need to think about what our actions teach kids. Just because something is not likely to cause a person to be emotionally disturbed it doesn't follow that it teaches kids what they need to know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by undertheironsea
Those of you calling it abuse are complete wusses. Spatting on a kid on the fat of his butt for doing something wrong isn't abuse. It goes away after a while. Get over it. Just because a kid is spanked once or twice in his/her life doesn't mean they're going to show up on Oprah the next day.
I don't think spanking a kid is necessarily abusive, but you need to think about what your actions teach kids. It teaches them that they need someone to threaten them with physical violence in order to be under control. I really think we need to give kids the tools they need to learn SELF control, not to control them with physical violence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by undertheironsea
This needs to stay an education conversation and not a personal one. We DON'T need to get into that argument, because I'm beginning to see it pop up.
I think it is an educational issue. Whether we are parents, educators, or both, we all affect how children learn to control themselves. IMO kids model adult behavior. Therefore it is important for us to model desirable behavior. If we want children to learn to resolve conflict without violence we need to model that behavior for them.
I taught for a while in a maximum security prison in Massachusetts. A lot of my students there would not approve of paddling children for any reason, and would express their dis-approval in no uncertain terms to a paddler.
Well if inmates at a maximum security prison would disapprove of something, I guess that settles it.
How can you hit a child when we teach them not to hit?
SAHM mom of 2, with a teaching degree, who does not believe in hitting of any kind.
The challenge is to be able to control your child without becoming out of control yourself.
I find it so interesting that no one has addressed my comments about parents who don't spank who get out of control.
Mom of 3, with a teaching degree, who does spank! I don't do it out of control. I do it out of love.
Well if inmates at a maximum security prison would disapprove of something, I guess that settles it.
I think the poster is saying basically what I said earlier -- we'd likely be attacked by our kids before we had the chance to even try paddling them .....
The point is can you control a child without spanking? Or is it too much of a challenge?
It's easy to just spank a child. They do something wrong, you spank them, and go about what you were doing prior. Simple. The easy way out.
I prefer the challenge.
I am a teacher and a parent, and a product of the "spanking age" lol (I'm almost 36 years old).
I am against hitting and my children are well behaved.
You have to take the time to speak with them, and give them time-outs when needed (of course), etc.
We are not wusses for not spanking. I actually feel we are well educated to be able to handle our children without spanking.
The point is can you control a child without spanking? Or is it too much of a challenge?
It's easy to just spank a child. They do something wrong, you spank them, and go about what you were doing prior. Simple. The easy way out.
I prefer the challenge.
I am a teacher and a parent, and a product of the "spanking age" lol (I'm almost 36 years old).
I am against hitting and my children are well behaved.
You have to take the time to speak with them, and give them time-outs when needed (of course), etc.
We are not wusses for not spanking. I actually feel we are well educated to be able to handle our children without spanking.
By the way, I don't think spanking is done out of love.
Culture and society always changes. Just because "certain methods" worked well 30 years ago, does not mean they will work AS well now. Especially children are being taught at a very early age of what abuse is, and of those things. Children are learning things at a much younger age these days. Perhaps not the right things though.
What about using the method of using a "leather belt" as a form of descpline? What do you guys think about that issue?
Indeed, times have changed. But thats entirely subjective when you bring in different cultures into the equation.
Asian culture mindset has'nt entirely changed on the matter, to them Obedience is everything. The child is taught to Mould into the system "Collective" if you will. Childrens behavior is pretty much uniform whether your in the poverty ladder or high society.
Here in the west, is somewhat different, its a clouded situation. Its about individual preferences which by all means good luck to ya. But the results speaks for itself. Lots of drop outs, people unable to perform to their utmost because they just lack self discipline, its all about having the best of times by the time middleschool comes along and by that time you have more or less lost solid influence into the lives of your children. And what was that about love again??
About the "BELT" thing?. Thats something i dont believe in, i have been on the recieving end of those countless times and only leads to resentment which is counterproductive for what discipline is all about. So for me? thats a no no!!
I find it so interesting that no one has addressed my comments about parents who don't spank who get out of control.
Mom of 3, with a teaching degree, who does spank! I don't do it out of control. I do it out of love.
I think it's like any other thing that you deal with as a parent/educator. Getting out of control is not a good thing for the kids or for the adult involved. It does happen sometimes though, even though people don't want it to happen. People are not perfect. The difference is that while screaming out of control is unpleasant, it will not ever damage the child the way an out of control beating might, especially if the beating is administered by a man.
Well said momma bear, my thoughts exactly (we don't yell either).
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