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Let me put it this way - there's no doubt in my mind that I could be just as happy there as I've been living any number of other unfamiliar places. I mean it. I think life is a pretty cool adventure.
That doesn't mean I wouldn't PREFER living elsewhere. I PREFER living in East Texas. But it's not what makes me happy or unhappy.
Then what advice would you give to someone in my shoes, in my situation now? You already know my situation, so I'm not going to repeat it. Do I stay here and force myself to like it, knowing that I won't be able to afford a home until the age of 35? Or do I attempt to find a greener pasture?
Then what advice would you give to someone in my shoes, in my situation now? You already know my situation, so I'm not going to repeat it. Do I stay here and force myself to like it, knowing that I won't be able to afford a home until the age of 35? Or do I attempt to find a greener pasture?
It sounds like you have the flexibility to look for another job elsewhere. Have you considered other areas that you may enjoy more? I mean, I don't mean to sound like Pollyanna - I didn't particularly enjoy living in Alabama, for instance, but I wasn't UNHAPPY there - I just knew I wouldn't make my life permanent there, ya know?
With my husband's job, we can really live anywhere we like, so before we bought the house we just moved into, we strongly considered several other states, and visited those areas several times. Have you done that? Where else can you see yourself meeting your personal goals and enjoying the things that are important to you? I'd figure that out and then look for a job in those areas. Life's too short to feel frustrated all the time. And some places are just TOO cost prohibitive, even if they have other good qualities.
Then what advice would you give to someone in my shoes, in my situation now? You already know my situation, so I'm not going to repeat it. Do I stay here and force myself to like it, knowing that I won't be able to afford a home until the age of 35? Or do I attempt to find a greener pasture?
I'll chime in with my two cents. Go somewhere else. You may like it or it may make you appreciate where you came from. I left Colorado after I graduated college thinking I needed a change. I moved to Dallas and for the first 3 or 4 years it was great, but the craptastic summer weather and bland geography beat me down and when I finally got a chance to come home I pounced on it. I've taken advantage of what Colorado has to offer more over the last three years than I did in the 15 years I lived here growing up.
Last edited by bluescreen73; 08-27-2014 at 08:26 PM..
It sounds like you have the flexibility to look for another job elsewhere. Have you considered other areas that you may enjoy more? I mean, I don't mean to sound like Pollyanna - I didn't particularly enjoy living in Alabama, for instance, but I wasn't UNHAPPY there - I just knew I wouldn't make my life permanent there, ya know?
With my husband's job, we can really live anywhere we like, so before we bought the house we just moved into, we strongly considered several other states, and visited those areas several times. Have you done that? Where else can you see yourself meeting your personal goals and enjoying the things that are important to you? I'd figure that out and then look for a job in those areas. Life's too short to feel frustrated all the time. And some places are just TOO cost prohibitive, even if they have other good qualities.
Well, I've been thinking of maybe some places in the Rust Belt. They have affordable housing, jobs, not too far from my family in New England, etc. I'm just worried about culture shock and FLAT ass land all over. But I prefer 4 seasons. Have you lived in any of those places? I applied to a job in Buffalo and one outside of Detroit. Just a 90 minute direct flight to see family near Hartford.
Well, I've been thinking of maybe some places in the Rust Belt. They have affordable housing, jobs, not too far from my family in New England, etc. I'm just worried about culture shock and FLAT ass land all over. But I prefer 4 seasons. Have you lived in any of those places? I applied to a job in Buffalo and one outside of Detroit. Just a 90 minute direct flight to see family near Hartford.
My brother lives in southwest Ohio near Dayton. I think it's beautiful up there. We also lived in central Ohio when I was a little kid and it was very picturesque.
My husband works in northwest PA a lot and it is absolutely GORGEOUS up there. That's an area we considered for awhile, but it was just too far away from family. I like Pittsburgh quite a bit.
Then there's Knoxville, TN - that's a pleasant surprise for sure. I never expected such a nice small city but it sure seems like a good place to live.
All those places have four seasons. You ought to take a road trip and check some of them out!
I've never lived in Michigan but it's on my list of places I want to visit. It seems like it's really beautiful up there.
Location: northern Vermont - previously NM, WA, & MA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321
Well, I've been thinking of maybe some places in the Rust Belt. They have affordable housing, jobs, not too far from my family in New England, etc. I'm just worried about culture shock and FLAT ass land all over. But I prefer 4 seasons. Have you lived in any of those places? I applied to a job in Buffalo and one outside of Detroit. Just a 90 minute direct flight to see family near Hartford.
You worry too much. Seriously, just chill out on the worrying. Stop trying to replicate what you have somewhere else and accept that fact that there will be some differences that might not always agreeable to you that require compromise. If you can't understand compromise then don't consider moving anywhere.
Shift your focus, try and concentrate on the positive attributes of somewhere else and how they would be compatible to you and stay focused on that instead. There will always be many things to complain about no mater where you go, but you seem to be doing that excessively prior to spending any real quality time in these places. The more you complain, the more it will hinder not only your happiness but it will also hinder opportunities as well and they will end up passing you by.
Last edited by Champ le monstre du lac; 08-27-2014 at 09:01 PM..
You worry too much. Seriously, just chill out on the worrying. Stop trying to replicate what you have somewhere else and accept that fact that there will be some differences that might not always agreeable to you that require compromise. If you can't understand compromise then don't consider moving anywhere.
Shift your focus, try and concentrate on the positive attributes of somewhere else and how they would be compatible to you and stay focused on that instead. There will always be many things to complain about no mater where you go, but you seem to be doing that excessively prior to spending any real quality time in these places. The more you complain, the more it will hinder not only your happiness but it will also hinder opportunities as well and they will end up passing you by.
Yes, I think this is what I needed to hear. Part of the reason I'm still in CT at the age of 30 is because I've spent the last 6 years worrying and playing it safe. Now I'm old, so I might as well stay here.
Well, I've been thinking of maybe some places in the Rust Belt. They have affordable housing, jobs, not too far from my family in New England, etc. I'm just worried about culture shock and FLAT ass land all over. But I prefer 4 seasons. Have you lived in any of those places? I applied to a job in Buffalo and one outside of Detroit. Just a 90 minute direct flight to see family near Hartford.
I have lived in Michigan before so ill chime in here. New England to the Midwest will bring you some culture shock, but it sounds like you expect some difference and that is half the battle. Culture shock is hardest on those who are not aware of the differences. You will find the Midwest much more of a rural culture than the northeast. Also you will find that most people who live there are from there, very few ever move into Michigan, so you need to be prepared for that. Some may see the people there as being a bit insular because of the high percentage of folks born and raised there. The weather is also much more severe in the winter, the cold of the northeast is not even in the same league as the winter cold of an upper Midwest state like Michigan. Michigan is a beautiful state in the northern part, and the western part. The great lakes are one of Americas most underated natural features. The beauty of those beaches is equal or even better than some of the more popular beach areas of the nation. Woods and inland lakes cover much of the state as well, hunting and fishing is second to none. Southeast Michigan (metro Detroit) however is a very undesirable place to live in my opinion. The stereotypes of unemployment, crime, run down neighborhoods are all based in fact. Are there nice suburbs??? of course there are, but the area in general is just depressing. The core city in southeast Michigan is literally the worst city in North America, and nothing can make up for that fact. Burned out buildings, 1/3rd of the city physically abandoned, crumbling roads and failed city government are just part of the landscape there. Its not like living near Boston or Atlanta and being able to enjoy your urban center, Detroit is a place to avoid. The people in the suburbs stay in the suburbs. Some will tell of a small nice area around the baseball stadium, and yes there is a few blocks cleaned up, but don't venture out of that safe zone or you will be in the "real Detroit". I would research the area for yourself, Detroit has been written about and studied over and over, so info is easy to find. Its just my opinon of course, but the Detroit area is just not worth living in. If you want to go to a better Midwest city try Grand Rapids Michigan, or Madison Wisconsin. Minneapolis Minnesota is also a hot spot. There are some really great places in Michigan or other Midwest states, but Detroit is NOT one of them.
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