Single Mom Thinking of Moving to Another State w/ No Family or Friends (employment, school district)
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I am a single mom with three small children who is considering a move to another state with no family or friends. I moved to Columbus, Ohio about three years ago from San Diego, California after my husband died so that I could be closer to my sister. Well, after living in Ohio after three years, I realize that this isn't my cup of tea. I want to start over some place else and don't want to limit myself to just where family and friends are located. I've lived overseas and a few other places and know that I don't want to live in Ohio for the long term. Money and finding a job isn't an issue because even in death, my husband is still the breadwinner and I haven't worked in 7 years. I'm open to any place too. Currently, I don't rely on my sister too much to look after the kids, but having that security is nice (just in case). However, is this enough to stay in a place that I'm not happy? My children are in a great Christian school and that's the only thing that holds me back. The issue is...Am I nuts for wanting to do this solo? Are there any other single parents that have already gone (or are going) through this?
Thanks
I don't think you should stay in a place where you are not happy. It will rub off on you and the children. I am on a similar situation only I went through a bitter, expensive divorce. I am in a dream home that I bought for him, started a business for him and he left me with al the bills and I am living in a town that does not feel like home. I am financially independent, but I need to star over. So, you are not nuts. I lived in the midwest and the winter months can be brutal.
Kids are resilient and as long as you are not moving all the time, they will be ok.
What are you looking for? A new career, arts, night life, dating, skiing,good weather, inexpensive housing? Google best place to relocate to. Nice area's to consider, Denver suburbs, Austin, Texas, Madison, Wisconsin. Try to stay away from area's with high unemployment which can lead to more crime.
It sounds like you are fearless, adventurous and like change. Go for it, but do your research. I came across your post because of my search. I think a lot of mom's forget about thair happiness and on the other end of the spectrum, there are mom's that don't consider the impact their decisions have on their kids.
Best of luck, star researching and visiting. I am in the process of doing the same.
iam a single mom with a 3 year old baby boy living in new york is not working for me the rent is very bad. iam plaing to move to reading pa with no family or friends...
Id say gut it out until they graduate if the children are in advanced stages in their education. To start over socially in high school is incredibly difficult, and a burden on them they won't ever forget.
Third graders? Move. 9th graders? Wait.
Well, unless they don't like/love their friends and their school. I would have loved to move halfway across the country in 9th grade. I hated the school choices available to me where I was, and somewhere else might have served me better.
Im a single mother and ive decided to move to charlotte nc in a few more months.. Ive visited and realize that the pace is more my kinda pace coming from miami fl where i was born and raised. My daugther is 5 and as soon as she graduates from pre-k ill be gearing up. I too am in school and will only have one class to take via virtual college at my local college in miam while in nc. Im not sayin that a degree makes it ok but i would at least like to have something under my belt especially going somewhere i have no family and no friends. This is a chance to do something different. Exeperience a different place. Even if i do have to come back home at least i can say that i was 25 when i did this and i didnt wait til my daugther was 25 to do it.
Go for it if you havent already.
One life to live so ride this bad boy til the wheels fall off with no rearview mirrors to look back!!!
I am interested in moving to Charlotte NC and I am looking to visit there soon and see if I would like it. I want to stay a couple days there.
1. If you have family and the kids are happy and stable, Id probably stay put.
2. I left by myself and moved to Maine with three kids. Best move I ever made. BUT I had no family to help me and I was leaving a horrible state where my abusive husband had too much ability to abuse the children.
3. I am trained now finally as a teacher. If your kids are really happy and in a really good school with really good friends and they have family and you are single, I would suggest staying put, provided that you are okay.
4. Take trips. I like Maine. There are a lot of cheap places you could visit in Maine in the summer. July is best. Take the kids and see what you think.
I like in Charlotte,NC on the outskirts and yes I love living here its quiet and I can afford to live here and my children are happy here.But due to my domestic violence situation happy with my husband I am force to move with my children. I was wondering if anyone knows of a good place for children, thats affordable and has a very good commuting transportation avaliable. I do not mind the weather all to much, but I will say I like a place that has events happening for adults as well as for children.
and i assume no money or a job either. May I suggest you get your life in order and your financial house as well before making a bad mistake
SUPERCHIC, didn't you read the part about domestic violence that NewMoves mentioned? That is something to ESCAPE from that will do far more harm than good.
I used to work in a DV shelter and the women came in tote with their children with nothing, often from other states. It was preferable to being in a location where the abuser could find them and harm them or worse.
I am a single Mom myself. I can say that when my son was young - having family around meant everything to me.
When my Mother was still alive; it was like I wasn't even a single parent! She loved my son so much and she would always have him over for sleep overs; make dinner, etc.
When my job required travel, Grandma and Grandad were there. When my Mom got very sick; her two sisters and my cousin were there to help with my son so I could spend time with my Mom.
That said, as my son grew, and my Mom died ~ my closeness with my extended family waivered. Not for lack of trying on my part. Eventually, the other Moms on my son's swim team became more like my family than my own. We did everything for each other and each other's kids.
We just moved last year to a new state - my job moved. My son was a sophomore in high school and he was all about moving to a bigger city! Otherwise, I never would have.
But this past year was the hardest of my life. Alone with no help and a major move. Getting my son to and from all his practices with no carpool.
He just got his license and things are going to get a little easier. But my move caused a total rift in my extended family and we no longer talk. My son seems happy here though so I guess it's worth it.
Short answer - I never could have done this completely on my own - with a very young child.
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