Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have to give a lot of credit to grandparents raising their grandkids because I know I couldn't do it. I usually have my 11 year old granddaughter every other week in the summer and after that I'm done for awhile. I feel I've worked hard since I was 17 and I deserve this time in my life to enjoy myself. I've had cancer twice and I don't want to spend my remaining years taking care of children.
Thankfully my granddaughter lives with the other set of grandparents and her mother who has 3 children with 3 different men.
I know my cousin is taking care of her grand daughter and has custody of her and she is loving it. I think my cousin has worked enough of her life that she should be enjoying her retirement and not raising a child . But that is my opinion . I just hope i dont get in her position because i plan on traveling in my retirement and working pt .
Hi, my name is Sassy, and I'm one of those daughters that had parents to help raise my kids.
And I thank God all.the.time. (as well as my mom) for doing so. My dad is gone now, otherwise, he'd be getting the praise as well.
I don't know how my boys would've turned out, if my parents had not offered for us to move in when I got divorced. When we moved in, I got a job, and signed up for night classes. I missed my kids like crazy. My mom mostly, she made dinner, she made sure the kids did any homework, took them to doctor appts if I could not, tucked them in bed if I had a late class...and occasionally babysat them if I had an infrequent date.
Hi, my name is Sassy, and I'm one of those daughters that had parents to help raise my kids.
Laughed out loud. I didn't know we had a 12-step group for this.
My name is MQ, and I'm one of those daughters that had parents to help raise my daughter.
I would have loved to be able to sit home with my daughter when she was little, but life didn't go that way for me. I had to work, and I worked in NYC, which was an hour and 20-minute commute. Fortunately, I had lots of vacation time so I could do class mom and class trip stuff, plus I was a Girl Scout leader (oddly, almost all the Girl Scout leaders in my town, full of affluent SAHMS, were the less-affluent working moms).
But I never had to take my daughter to daycare. She went to Grandma's. Grandpa was there, too, until she was eight years old, and great-Grandma was still there for a couple of years after that. My daughter and my mother were close, always, and she was Grandma to many of my daughter's friends. I lost my mother in March at the age of 91, and I was there taking care of her when she died. I was so grateful to my mother for what she did for me. Taking care of her when she needed it in her old age was never a burden, although thankfully, Mom never needed full-time care. It was a chance to return some of what she did for my daughter and me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy
And I thank God all.the.time. (as well as my mom) for doing so. My dad is gone now, otherwise, he'd be getting the praise as well.
I don't know how my boys would've turned out, if my parents had not offered for us to move in when I got divorced. When we moved in, I got a job, and signed up for night classes. I missed my kids like crazy. My mom mostly, she made dinner, she made sure the kids did any homework, took them to doctor appts if I could not, tucked them in bed if I had a late class...and occasionally babysat them if I had an infrequent date.
I have found that many baby boomers are more than happy to assume the role of parent to their grandchildren and have problems with boundaries. The boomer's adult children seem more than willing to live their life leaning on their parents to take care of their kids while they tend to their social lives.
It's not horrible! My grandparents raised me because my parents were working full-time. They were often not home till 7 or 8 PM. I liked it that way just fine. More loving adults in my life I wish my kids had grandparents like that, but it didn't really work out that way... Hopefully when I'm a grandma myself, I'll pay it forward and find time to be of whatever help my kids will need.
Grandparents may be considered to be the "backbone" of the family since they assist in raising the children of their adult children. Although grandparents can help with practical matters like babysitting, feeding, changing, and caring for the child, this does not mean that parents should take these services for granted since grandparents also have their own lives and are fully entitled to live them as they choose. The grandparents can provide the parents with much-needed assistance and breaks. They can help their adult children through the difficulties of parenting by sharing their own experiences and insights and by offering emotional support and direction. Many cultures view grandparents as essential members of the family who should actively participate in rearing and caring for their grandchildren. This can be especially useful for working parents who might need extra assistance managing their career and family duties, but it doesn't imply that parents completely rely on them and disregard their responsibilities as parents. Grandparents also should not meddle in the parenting decisions of their grandchildren, but they should respect the parents' preferences and parenting methods. The secret to a fruitful and positive relationship between grandparents and their adult offspring is effective communication and respect for one another.
Usually, when a grandparent is doing the lion's share of raising a grandchild, the parents have issues beyond being "too busy with work". Whether that's an addiction issue, abusive SO scenario, poor mental health or some other troubling problem, the grandparent has felt the need to step up and ensure the well being of the grandchild while maintaining the dignity and privacy of their adult child.
I don't envy them and I certainly don't judge them for that.
Most functional parents would not allow the grandparent to assume a parental role with their child.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wish my kids had grandparents like that, but it didn't really work out that way... Hopefully when I'm a grandma myself, I'll pay it forward and find time to be of whatever help my kids will need.
