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This is where being an adult and being responsible comes into play. If a couple chooses to have sex, then they together need to be responsible about birth control. If they are not and the woman gets pregnant, yes, it is usually ultimately up to her what happens with the baby. That is mostly because it is her body and her that must carry the baby. For the most part if a good birth control method is used and used consistently, it works. If she became pregnant because no birth control was used or was not used properly or every time, then he is 50% to blame for that. If she chooses to keep the baby and raise it then he should be 50% responsible for its care financially.
Doesn't matter how long the stick is. This is all about the baby that these two people created. They're desires no longer matter. This child has to have the best upbringing that these two people can accomplish together or apart. Men. If you don't want to have this heartache, keep it in your pants and let those women who want to get pregnant do it with someone else.
Women, if you dont want to have this heartache, keep your legs closed and let those men who need to sow their seed do it with to somewhere else.
Eventually, if you wait, you will all find the right person to have children with.
Being a woman, I just don't think it is fair. Yes it is my choice, my body. But what if the man wants to keep the baby. I don't and terminate HIS child. Why shouldn't I be held responsible in the same way a man is?
Because you have autonomy over your body (something you should be very, very happy about) you have a say on what happens to your body. If you decide to have an abortion, who has the right to tell you no? The father may oppose your choice, but, once again, it's not his body; he doesn't have autonomy over it.
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Originally Posted by veuvegirl
And the flip side. The woman wants to keep the baby the man doesn't. Why should he be forced into fatherhood? Yes it takes two to tango, but it is also unfair to force him into fatherhood. He has no say no choice.
I wouldn't say he has no absolute say in the matter. He made the choice to put his unprotected penis into her vagina and knew a child could result; to say he had no choice in the matter is equally ignorant to say that a woman was forced to have sex when she willingly opened her legs. It is up to both parties to make sure that if they don't want a child, one doesn't result from it. If they choose to knowingly engage in unprotected sex, then it's poo on them. The father has a choice on whether he wants a parent; that doesn't mean he has the last say so and doesn't mean he should be off the hook because he's not the final arbitrator.
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Originally Posted by veuvegirl
No idea what the right answer is, but it is a very grey area.
The right answer would be to not engage in unprotected sex. True, condoms break and birth control fails, but that's not the reason so many people get pregnant (and condoms used in conjunction with the pill or an IUD is practically full proof). The reason we see such an alarmingly high rate of people who get pregnant is because they choose to engage in unprotected sex. It was either too much of a hassle or someone thought someone else was on the pill. If I was a guy and didn't want kids, I wouldn't take chances, and because I don't want kids right now, I choose to be protected when having sex. It's all a matter of personal responsibility before the sex takes place.
If a girl gets pregnant she has the option to keep the baby or not. The man however does not seem to have any say.... I mean he can't tell her she should keep the baby if she doesn't want it , because it is her body and on the flip side, if he doesn't want to have the baby and she does...her decision trumps...the man is then called a poor father if he is not involved or doesn't support financially... I think that it's not fair to the men.(I am a woman btw)
I don't think saying he fathered the baby and hence is responsible holds any water because as everyone knows ..it takes two to tango....
So it seems to me that men get the shorter end of the stick on this one.
What are your opinions on this?
He had plenty of say, he didn't have to sleep with her when he didn't know her well enough to know for sure she was on birth control. He could have worn a condom or used some of the birth control pills that are coming out for men now.
Men want the right to go about spreading their seed where they wish with no consequences, thats just not reality. The cleanup and responsibility is left in the lap of the woman, so of course she has the choice of what to do with her body. Just as the man had the choice to keep his pants zipped or use a condom.
Its time everyone realized that sex isn't something you can do with the casualness of a handshake, there are huge consequences like unwanted children and sexually transmitted disease. Thats just the reality. Wake up, smell the coffee, you guys are no longer 13 years olds looking for some place to stick it.
"So it seems to me that men get the shorter end of the stick on this one.
What are your opinions on this?"
My thinking is... If you can't afford to pay, then you shouldn't play!
Jeez... are men EVER going to be responsible for their actions? Oh yeah... call the woman a ****. She lured the poor guy into her bed. He didn't WANNA have sex! She tricked him!
But that just means that he had a choice to have sex with the girl... so did she.... the pregnancy could have been an accident, maybe a one-night stand when they are drunk? But the rest...she gets to decide.......
So if she decided to keep the child (her choice, her body) if the guy makes it clear that he does not want the baby, shouldn't he be exempt from having to pay up? For instance women who have babies with diff men... Is it right for them to ask each of the daddies to pay up?
Because again, the argument that he shouldn't have..well that rested on them both equally......
BTW NO ONE is calling any woman a **** or otherwise...and the guys were never "lured" into anything... That is a bunch of baloney.....
But that just means that he had a choice to have sex with the girl... so did she.... the pregnancy could have been an accident, maybe a one-night stand when they are drunk? But the rest...she gets to decide.......
So if she decided to keep the child (her choice, her body) if the guy makes it clear that he does not want the baby, shouldn't he be exempt from having to pay up? For instance women who have babies with diff men... Is it right for them to ask each of the daddies to pay up?
Because again, the argument that he shouldn't have..well that rested on them both equally......
Guys need to understand. It isn't about you! It's about the support of the child. If you play, be prepared to pay. It's that simple and whining about it won't change the law.
I agree, men do get the short end of the stick.
As you said, it does take two to tango. If the girl didn't want to get pregnant or didn't want to be a parent, she should have been on birth control pills, had condoms for the guy to wear, gave the baby up, etc.
I am one for saying that the guy shouldn't have a say if she gets an abortion and I also feel he shouldn't have to pay for the baby if he doesn't want kids. Sure he is at fault for possibly not wearing a condom and such but...oh well.
The woman had more options to not be a parent and just because SHE wants to keep it doesn't mean HE has to pay for it.
Guys need to understand. It isn't about you! It's about the support of the child. If you play, be prepared to pay. It's that simple and whining about it won't change the law.
Thank you ! Holy cow people don't get it. It takes two people to make a baby, they both need to be responsible, or keep their clothes on.
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