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The dirty, brutal truth is that Black Men are crafted in the image of being aggressive and macho. The thinking from alot of non-Black women is that they'll date a black man who's "urban", but figure against dating regular-joe black men becuase they think to themselves "Well, if he doesn't have G appeal, I midas well stick to what I know and keep it in the race".
This creates a deeply sad scenario where BM who do pull non-Black tail do so under all the wrong pretenses, whereas happy, stable, eligable BM are passed over.
To a degree, yes, you are correct. I too find that non black females date black men for this "urban" appeal and my guess it's some kind of fetish along with the fact that black men are popular today (e.g. 50 Cent, Obama, Kobe Bryant).
BTW, there are black females were if you don't come off with the "urban" appeal they take you for a MARK. Girls like this really **** me off with there distorted thinking in that doing prison time will somehow prove to her that I'm more of a man.
To be fair, I don't mind the urban culture ( I much rather live on a farm); and history tells us that many good things (Jazz, REAL hip hop, various black movements) were born out of this subculture but the problem is the fact that the criminal element has attached itself to the urban community's and it doesn't look as if it's going anywhere anytime soon especially with "no snitch" rules in place that only protects the criminals.
Have you ever used the line "Is it because I'm black?"
I ask this because when I went to school (an that was many years ago) this was a joke among the white girls when they were speaking to each other about getting hit on by black guys.
They just hated the fact that the black guys became so aggressive when the girls acted friendly in any way toward them. Right away the black guys took it as a "come-on", and just wouldn't let up.
And they said it was always the same ending - After all else failed, the guys would whimper out the words "Is it because I'm black?"
The white girls saw how the black guys treated their own women (the black girls). Let's face it, what is it? About 70% of black women are raising kids without the fathers being around?
What type of credentials is that? And, it's not just the fact that it makes black men appear unreliable, but black women appear emotionally abused.
And if you don't understand that, look at it from white peoples perspective. We see black woman trying desperately to stand by their men, right or wrong. And, how are they rewarded?...I don't have to go into that - Do I?
There are also cultural differences. Let's face it, people are truly attracted to similar people for long term relationships. And, it's not just because we're all Americans - They look for the similarities in culture, religion, types of friends, who the family is, tastes in food, education, etc. etc. etc. - It's not just the fact of money or success.
There are woman that would marry anyone for money - Look at Anna Nicole Smith, when she married the 90 year old guy. Hey! if you had money, it would have been you!
Don't take the rejection to heart. Too many black men seem a little too fixated on having a relationship with a white woman, for the sake of having a white woman.
Maybe that's too obvious to them. And they see little value in it for themselves.
Internationally it seems like the various races have been mixed for much longer. However, in the States you've got to realize that as little as just over 40 years ago the two races were divided in large parts of this country by law.
Even in major cities, the races seem to be divided by where they live. If you've ever been to Detroit, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
It seems to me that many of the black men that I know always seem to want to date women of other ethnic backgrounds. Whats wrong with black women? Hell I've dated a black woman, and it was one of the best relationships I've ever had. I didn't date her because she was black though, it was because we had known each other for a long time, and we just got along.
I guess another way to look at this, Why are you seemingly interested in only dating women of other ethnic backgrounds?
I am a black male, and most people have said and rated me very attractive and very intelligent. I graduated from one of the top private universities in the country and I hold a very good job for a person my age. I also have traveled around the world and have noticed a huge disparity on how women from other countries treat me compared to how most women in America treat me.
It just seems as if most women born in this country who are white, Asian, Latina etc; are so hesitant to actually start a relationship with me. There is no doubt they show there is obvious interest in me with them sending me text messages and giving me there numbers, flirting with me in the office, inviting me to some special events. However when it comes to you know starting a real relationship and even showing you want to commit, they run around circles and play games. Almost as if they are scared to have them meet there parents. I once asked this beautiful white female out who I knew was interested in me from the start and it took almost four months of leading her and basically just asking her out until she finally agreed to go on a date. Our relationship only lasted two months and it seems all of my relationships with women raised in this country last only from one night to two months.
It is completely different with the woman I encountered from other countries. I met this one Japanese girl who was cute and goofy, and our strange relationship lasted long. She was willing to use her money out of her own expense to take me to Japan to meet her family and get married. She was serious about it too, saw the ticket and everything. I also once dated this girl from Spain, and she was very open-minded from the start...I even met her family.
I also had this long relationship with a white woman from Germany. We dated and went to Germany together for a couple months. I can tell you my experience as a black man in Germany on a daily basis was much more positive than my experience as a black man in America. I felt the people there automatically gave me respect. No long stares, great conversations, and hardly any of it had to do with me being black. Ironically, it is like that when I go to any other European country, I just feel that I am more respected and accepted. Who would have thought I would feel comfortable in a sea of white faces, however this issue belongs in another board I guess.
I also conducted a fun experiment where I joined a dating web site for fun. I set up a quick profile with some of my pics. I decided to chat with 10 women who were from the states, and 10 women who were located internationally. My main goal was to be direct about what I wanted and ask them for their personal information. The 10 women I chatted with who were not from the states, were not uptight at all. They were willing to give out personal info about themselves, and eight out of the 10 of them even gave me there number. The only time the fact I was black came up and this was when one of them said it was there wish to have sex with a black man.
The 10 women I chatted from who were from different parts of the USA, asked follow up questions, seemed very uptight and thought I was being rude, brought up race and giving excuses that they have not been in a biracial relationship before. They tried to give me other options like maybe an email or aim at first and all that other nonsense.
Why has the World or at least the Eastern Hemisphere put race aside however America has not? Maybe that is the real question. Why am I not truly accepted by the mainstream in when basically I did everything right here in America, but the world accepts me? An answer to the question I posed is the American media that continues to belittle and defame black people, and portray our culture as inferior. There are other variables, and I could use other examples based on current evens to validate my point. It is so ironic indeed.
If you check the statistics which show how wretched the majority of black men are as fathers, the question is easily answered.
The white girls saw how the black guys treated their own women (the black girls). Let's face it, what is it? About 70% of black women are raising kids without the fathers being around?
What type of credentials is that? And, it's not just the fact that it makes black men appear unreliable, but black women appear emotionally abused.
And if you don't understand that, look at it from white peoples perspective. We see black woman trying desperately to stand by their men, right or wrong. And, how are they rewarded?...I don't have to go into that - Do I?
Yup, sad but true, and I can speak from experience because my dad left me and my mom. Well, actually as the story goes my mom came home to the apartment and all her stuff was at the door; my dad kicked his own wife out along with his own son (me) so she had to move back in with her mom. My ma took care of me ever since and even worked sometimes 3 jobs to make ends meet.
It's really sad out there; black men today are only concerned with materialism, sports, and fantasy to the point where living a simple, practical, life is just something they don't want to do. Ok, fine by me, but they are disrespectful to there women and they still bring children into the world then leave them and that's just wrong!
As far as black women being abused, I would agree with that as well. Today's rap music constantly degrades black women. Snoop Dogg, Ice T, Luke, Nelly and many others OLD and NEW should be ashamed (but there not) of themselves for USING women to create money and fame for themselves.
Because black girls are always portrayed as sex objects and rump shakers and because they have no strong, responsible, men to lean on and get real advice about other males young black girls today run into problems and develop self esteems issues along the way.
In interesting observation that somebody told be about black girls is to look at the profile pictures of black girls on myspace and you will notice there are MANY pictures of butts and rump shaking videos, however, look at the pictures of white/Asian/Indian girls and you will see pictures of there actual face.
I mean, we all know black women have nice butts but the observation points to the the fact of how black women view themselves due to all the commercialization of there specific body part. Thats all many of them think they are good for.
I guess another way to look at this, Why are you seemingly interested in only dating women of other ethnic backgrounds?
It's not that, but rather a matter of why black men, or anyone for that matter, would be limited in who they "should" be attracted to. We also question the artificial conventions that too often lead women of other ethnicities who might be otherwise genuinely attracted to and compatible with black men to question and in many cases supplant their impulses with indifference and outright avoidance.
If you check the statistics which show how wretched the majority of black men are as fathers, the question is easily answered.
Should a hard-working, educated black man such as the OP be willing to take personal responsibility for the way other black men behave when it comes to parenting? If so, why?
Should a hard-working, educated black man such as the OP be willing to take personal responsibility for the way other black men behave when it comes to parenting? If so, why?
He was the one that put this on ALL AMERICAN WOMEN and started these generalizations. Why should I, as a woman, shoulder the the personal choices made by other women?
He was the one that put this on ALL AMERICAN WOMEN and started these generalizations. Why should I, as a woman, shoulder the the personal choices made by other women?
You shouldn't, but then it's not a matter of whether the OP is likely to reject you based on that - it is clear that he would certainly appreciate it if more American women were as "accepting" as their counterparts abroad. What is in question is whether or not you, as an American woman, would reject him based on the stereotypes of black men too many American women (at least in his experience) tend to subscribe to.
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Have you ever used the line "Is it because I'm black?"
