Is it common for a woman to go to a Hollywood hot-spot alone in L.A or an anomaly? (Pasadena: crime, home)

[quixotic59]

Originally Posted by Fontucky

I live my life to impress bouncers, doormen, waitresses and bar tenders.

OMG, you are, like, totally, like my HEEEEROOOO!!!



Also, I am totally confused. Why would an independent WOMAN be concerned what others think about her?
And, if you are going to rant about stereotypical thinking, should you contribute to its perpetuation by indulging it?

I'm just sayin'.

[SandyCo]

I'm thinking that any woman who is superficial enough to want to do this is also superficial enough to be sensitive about being judged by strangers. A deeper woman either wouldn't care what people think and just go anyway, or she would avoid this scenario altogether due to the shallow and expensive emptiness.

[jackie100]

I do have a grip on reality. You see; it isn't black or white, people are complex. Just because I'm "anti social" doesn't mean that I like to hide inside my house.

I don't like to TALK to people. That doesn't mean that I don't like to live the "good life". I like celebs, I like glamorous settings. I like to dress up and be seen because I am not shy about my appearance, I am ONLY shy when it comes to being outgoing or talkative. I am very confident about my appearance.

Even though I am anti social I still want to go to trendy places. That may sound strange to some people but I just like trendy, upscale places.

Yes, I am independent in terms of NOT NEEDING A MAN. That doesn't mean that I am so strong that I don't care about what strangers think because for some strange reason I do. We as humans, all care on some level about how others perceive us. I am ONLY independent in the sense of being ok single forever, however that doesn't mean I don't care about what others think. Even though I am anti social (meaning I don't talk a lot), it is still important to me to feel accepted in a way.

Why is that so hard for people to believe? I don't understand why people accuse me of being contradictory. Are humans supposed to be only one way or another?

[vdy1985]

Ultimately, it is all good. I think you should party it up, I don't think it will be an issue. I just don't see how it will be fun to do that if you are already planning on not really talking/meeting people. But if you enjoy it just for the place, then that is cool. Diff strokes for diff folks.

[SandyCo]

If you're into that scene, I can see how it might be interesting to just be there and watch what's going on, but I could only do that for an hour at most before I'd get extremely bored.

Originally Posted by vdy1985

Ultimately, it is all good. I think you should party it up, I don't think it will be an issue. I just don't see how it will be fun to do that if you are already planning on not really talking/meeting people. But if you enjoy it just for the place, then that is cool. Diff strokes for diff folks.

[munchitup]

Here's the thing about LA.... It's stereotyped as being judgmental, but it's really the opposite; no one gives a s--- about you.

They might judge you for two seconds, but they have already forgotten about you within the next five seconds, I can guarantee it.

Also Jackie, you crack me up... because of your username and general attitude I always envision Jackie from That 70s Show making these posts

[sajae90]

Originally Posted by jackie100

I don't feel like I would have to lie and pretend that I am meeting a friend. I think I want to go out alone just to make social statement; the statement that I am not afraid to be alone ( I plan to never get married). I don't feel like I have to be pretend that I'm meeting people because that implies that there is something wrong with going alone and I don't see the reason why. I don't think there is anything wrong with going alone but I think society does; society considers it a major taboo. However, people tend to judge "loners" very harshly. I know some women would laugh if they saw another woman going out alone.

. I actually can. See where you are coming from. I use to be REALLY social in college, but after college I grew Apart from my friends and everyone suddenly had their own thing going on. I only had "text friends" and turned into a hermit.....but this is an epidemic and many socialist believes it has to do with technology and the recession. I am planning on moving to Cali too....from what I heard, it is suppose to be "shallow" and most people are not interested in forming true friendships. In this day in age, going to the club/hotspot alone is no big deal. Here are some other tips/options you can consider: 1) Make your phone your best friend- Yes, it can slow down guys or people in general from approaching you, but it can make you feel more comfortable or preoccuppied. If you are on Facebook, send friends messages or respond to FB status updates in between sipping your drink. Don't forget to look around the spot every so often (Again, you could make new friends at this Club/hotspot). 2) Talk that Talk- So, let's say a guy approaches you (which they will if you are attractive), and ask you are you there by yourself. Simply reply, "Oh yeah, this is my spot, I come here all the time. Solo is my thing" (or something along those lines). People love a confident person (male or female). Keep the conversation going if the person who approaches you is not a jerk. If the person is talking to you, you would feel less awkward as if you came with that person to the club. People will actually be more confident to approach you when you are alone anyways. Even if you are not into the person you are talking to, look at it as a chance to expand your social circle. 3)An ounce of blood is worth more than a pound of friendship- Do you have cousins around your age? Or maybe an aunt who likes to go out every once in a while and who is not a prude? When my "friends" want to be flakey, I usually ask my cousins to chill with me (most of which are a little younger than me). 4)Social Networking- I have ran across social networking sites that are geared towards those who want to go to engagements in groups including yelp.com and meetup.com Find other members who want to do the club thing like you . 5)Choose your spot in the club wisely- Now, I should have listed this one as number ONE lol. Try to find a spot in the club where other people may have to sit, even if they don't know each other. Like on a stool at the bar. Plenty of random people will plop down to order a drink, or even to talk to you. I have also been to clubs that have "booths". These restaurant-styled booths all you to just sit down and relax while also checking out the scenery. If you are uncomfortable, whip out your phone and repeat STEP NUMBER ONE! I hope this helped you, and ignore those useless unhelpful posts. I'll be moving to Cali soon

[sajae90]

Originally Posted by jackie100

Ok, the real reason why I made this thread was a sort of a rant. Yes, I really am interested in going out alone in Weho.

However, the reason of my topic was more as a statement in regards as to how sexist our society is. Our society is very accusatory and judgmental of women for being alone. A lot of people "think" that women are very social creatures and that it is unusual for women to go out alone. I don't fit in that mold because I am NOT the typical women; I'm a loner without any friends.

Plus what makes me more unusual is that I do not want to have a boyfriend or get married ever. I do not like kids. Thus, I have to learn to go out alone until I die because I am not willing to share my life with anyone plus I'm not very sociable in general.

I just feel that men are not judged harshly for eating alone or going out alone. Lots of men go clubbing alone and don't get judged for it. However, there is a strong bias against females who go out alone. We may be thought of as loose, easy, looking for a one night stand, a loser, loner, weirdo etc.

Society is just much rougher on females who choose to be alone and have to go out alone due to lack of friends or whatever. I feel that different standards are applied towards men than women.

Yes, society may be harder on women as a whole, but not about going to the club alone....ESPECIALLY now in days. The reality is that because of the pressures of life (higher crime rates, cost of living, recession, etc)...people are more absorbed with their "career" or just trying to stay afloat. Like someone else mentioned in this thread, there are more and more people going to events or clubs alone nowindays. The only people you really see in big groups are those in high school, college or 24 or younger crowds (The ones with little or no responsibility and haven't found out yet that their "friends" are really not their friends). In reality, if someone saw you at an event by yourself, they would probably run over themselves trying to talk to you. I'm in my late 20's and even I feel like its like pulling teeth to get people to get out of the damn house to go club....they have too many issues; their children need tending to, they're broke, they had an argument with their spouse....they're losing their house, etc. I can relate to you because I also have no children. I would also suggest to you to find other single women/men who don't have children to hang out with, even if they are a little younger.

[munchitup]

Originally Posted by sajae90

. I actually can. See where you are coming from. I use to be REALLY social in college, but after college I grew Apart from my friends and everyone suddenly had their own thing going on. I only had "text friends" and turned into a hermit.....but this is an epidemic and many socialist believes it has to do with technology and the recession. I am planning on moving to Cali too....from what I heard, it is suppose to be "shallow" and most people are not interested in forming true friendships. In this day in age, going to the club/hotspot alone is no big deal. Here are some other tips/options you can consider: 1) Make your phone your best friend- Yes, it can slow down guys or people in general from approaching you, but it can make you feel more comfortable or preoccuppied. If you are on Facebook, send friends messages or respond to FB status updates in between sipping your drink. Don't forget to look around the spot every so often (Again, you could make new friends at this Club/hotspot). 2) Talk that Talk- So, let's say a guy approaches you (which they will if you are attractive), and ask you are you there by yourself. Simply reply, "Oh yeah, this is my spot, I come here all the time. Solo is my thing" (or something along those lines). People love a confident person (male or female). Keep the conversation going if the person who approaches you is not a jerk. If the person is talking to you, you would feel less awkward as if you came with that person to the club. People will actually be more confident to approach you when you are alone anyways. Even if you are not into the person you are talking to, look at it as a chance to expand your social circle. 3)An ounce of blood is worth more than a pound of friendship- Do you have cousins around your age? Or maybe an aunt who likes to go out every once in a while and who is not a prude? When my "friends" want to be flakey, I usually ask my cousins to chill with me (most of which are a little younger than me). 4)Social Networking- I have ran across social networking sites that are geared towards those who want to go to engagements in groups including yelp.com and meetup.com Find other members who want to do the club thing like you . 5)Choose your spot in the club wisely- Now, I should have listed this one as number ONE lol. Try to find a spot in the club where other people may have to sit, even if they don't know each other. Like on a stool at the bar. Plenty of random people will plop down to order a drink, or even to talk to you. I have also been to clubs that have "booths". These restaurant-styled booths all you to just sit down and relax while also checking out the scenery. If you are uncomfortable, whip out your phone and repeat STEP NUMBER ONE! I hope this helped you, and ignore those useless unhelpful posts. I'll be moving to Cali soon

Holy wall of text!

[sajae90]

^LOL I'm sorry for some odd reason I couldn't break up the paragraphs lol