Ppl from Massachusetts are incredibly rude (Boston, Newton: loan, home, university)

[baystater]

Originally Posted by b52

Baystater
Thanks for that....Your comments were informed and informative. I love New England, so much that I'm uprooting my life here in the land time forgot (the south) to relocate. Your post answers many questions about the attitudes of people in the area. I have never been offended while visiting the Boston area and though I haven't yet relocated, I have met friends there I know I will have for a lifetime. I approach people there with friendliness and openess and in general I get the same in return. Perhaps my experience was unique but I have found people to be friendly and helpful. You can't and shouldn't stereotype people based on limited experiences. I find some of the behavior "quirky" to be sure but New England has so much to offer on so many levels, living there is worth it all.

HI B52! I would love to take credit for those comment on New England. But I must give credit where credit is due. that post was originally written by hilliegal 05-06-2007, 11:49 AM. Under the titled fitting in.

[jaecamp]

This is the way I explain it to people... If you are walking through a door behind someone in New England, don't expect the person in front of you to hold the door open- because they won't; but they also won't slam the door in your face.

As far as people being nice or mean... That all depends on what you're expecting. I remember walking through a mall for the first time not in New England, and random people were smiling and saying "hi". I was totally confused and thought "What in the world is this?!? Why are these people talking to me?" If you expect a smile and you get nothing you think its being mean. If you expect a scowl and get nothing, then you think its being nice. There are mean people and nice people everywhere, including New England, but at least in New England people are being honest. They won't pretend to like you. If they are nice to you its because they want to be, not because they are just trying to be polite!

Does anyone anywhere really like to hear about the crink in your neck or any other stupid personal stuff? They have their own problems to worry about, and their own issues going on. New Englanders just don't pretend they care about it if they really don't. It doesn't make them mean, just genuine.

[Tom Lennox 70]

I posted this on the Boston board too, but I just graduated from college in Maryland and I was pleasantly surprised at how nice all of the out of state students from Massachusetts were, without exception. About strangers and conversations, I really had an experience that completely turned my expectations upside down. Most of my immediate and extended families paint everywhere north of Maryland in a broad negative brush and stereotype them and my aunt always singles out Boston just because my uncle took two business trips there and experienced aggressive driving and rude strangers. But then maybe we're the ones being intolerant...with a lot of my family and neighbors, everything wrong with our part of Maryland, and why it's not as "nice" as 20 years ago, is always blamed on transplants from "the North" or "New York and Boston" though increasingly on illegal immigrants too. I'm actually surprised how quickly we bought into this to be honest since my parents came to the U.S. from Taiwan 25 years ago.

I've met a lot of people from the Boston area (esp. Westford) and they are actually much friendlier than people I'd assumed to be really nice, such as rural areas in Maryland and they were not really arrogant or think Massachusetts is better than anywhere else (but people from the NY area truly are arrogant for the most part.)

Now about the strangers' friendliness question, a very interesting personal experience and a lesson that proves a lot of people here right. I swim once a week at the campus pool, usually during the same time one of my friends is working there. We would always talk but kinda ignore the people she worked with. Then one night my friend wasn't there but when I was taking a break during my swim one of the other lifegaurds just came over and started talking to me like about my friend she works with but also just to get to know me cause she's seen me swim there 4 times already. We talked for literally 10 minutes about our sports teams, hobbies, partying etc. Something like this usually doesn't happen (people just go swim and leave and nobody talks to the peopel at the pool unless you know them already) so I had to ask if she was from somewhere else, and she said around Boston.

So I must have just paused like an idiot then admitted I had assumed she must be from somewhere in the South or the Midwest or a very small town in Maryland. She actually told me how people in Maryland were not as friendly as she had expected (everyone from north of MD thinks we're the South and everyone south of us thinks we're the North). I told her I wanted to say hi to her the third time we saw each other at the pool but that I didn't want to come across as weird, that I would have done that if this was New Orleans or Idaho (where my cousins lived and I've visited multiple times). But like people here just don't talk to strangers like that.

What she told me was that no matter where you are if you will just be nice to people they'll be nice back. I guess that's advice I can go by. Like I guess during the few times I've traveled up north (never past NYC) we've assumed people to be rude and impersonable so we never made an effort to be friendly either, while the opposite is true when I travel to the South or the mountain states.

[jusplainjesse]

i live in florida right now and i miss how the people in new england are. sure they are rude and such, but its all a culture thing. they can be great people. i really dont see why all you southerners hate on us yankees so much, we just have a different culture than you. if you understood it better, you might actually like it.

[OREGONRAIN]

If they hate the yankees then tell them to go kiss some grits at the Waffle House in between cigarettes.

[ncnewboo]

Hi Cowboy,

I am a 27-year former resident and Native of Massachusetts - and a recent transplant to the south On behalf of the "M*******s" and the rest of the New England population, I sincerely apologize for any of the attitudes and vibes you've misconstrued.

Let me explain.

Yes - people from the northeast are generally NOT friendly. It's called New England reserve. I wouldn't call it arrogance. Just a quiet reserve. It's just a cultural difference. People from the north are generally "shut in" most of the year. Days are short, Winters are long and cold. In the south, people are out more, and therefore, more social. This quiet reserve is also consistent with the puritans, who really formed Boston culture.

Education and competition is another reason Bostonians are so unfriendly. It's not a competition against each other, but a competition with one's SELF. People are just so stuck in the ratrace from the high cost of living. It drives the Boston workaholic crazy. I also feel the instilled importance of a stellar education causes a lot of stress among young students. High hopes and expectations after graduating from an elite (aka expensive) university only to graduate with $140,000 in school loans and with no means of paying them can also make a Bostonian bitter. That's why many of us moved south. Because we can't take that way of life anymore.

Hope that sheds some light on the issue. Please don't feel like the we quiet and inward northeners have anything else against the rest of the world...even though we may say we do. Our bark is usually worse than our bite. And I really feel the people of the region, though unfriendly, are some of the most genuine people in the country.

On the flip side of things, I've also met a lot of friendly hospitable southerners, who were...well, very unfriendly when I turned my back. But I don't think southerners are bad people. Just different socially from northerners

[GettinOuttaHereMA]

oh I live in MA..it sucks. As do the people...*who are better than you - and you better know that -- especially if your from out of state...

And dont even try to be nice beacuse thats an insult to Mass people who DO NOT have time for you to be nice. so move on....and get out of the way..NOW........

[airedaly]

People, in general, react to how you act towards them. If you're a jerk (like the poster above), then people will react negatively towards you. You can tell he/she has a very bad attitude. If you start out each day with a chip on your shoulder, you can expect people to act rudely to you.

"Gettin outta here" may have better luck in another state, but probably will have the same responses from people if the attitude doesn't improve.

[haberstroh]

American drivers are bad. I am from Germany where I learned to drive. In a driving school for many expensive hours. A lot of American drivers would not even survive the first onramp of the no-speed-limit Autobahn. How is it done? With strict discpline and stiking to the rules. That is something I found very much lacking on American roads when I first got here. I almost fainted when I saw somebody run a red light and no camera went off. Or passing me on the right side on the highway. But I adjusted and I can drive here just fine. I just sometimes wonder why so many drivers here are so ignorant and seem to totally disregard other drivers....
As for poeple from MA being rude...you have never met a real grumpy German (which I am not one of them). But then again Germany sure is a cold country with very long winters.
I somewhere read a theory that said that most Nobel-Prize-Winners are from the north, where it is colder. They just stay inside and think (I know I am on thin ice here, ha, ha), but maybe it is true!

[katzenfreund]

Hey "Haberstroh"... where in Germany are you from? I am German also, from Rheinland Pfalz, the winters there are getting warmer and warmer and the summers hotter! I know what you mean about the driving. But the worst driving I have ever seen was on the DC beltway, LOL... MA isn't quite as bad . Tschuess!