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hate to blow your fantasy but thier are hollocaust survivors ( or survivors of the rwandan genocide ) who dont consider themselves incredibly luck
its silly believing that you make your own luck , if you made your own luck , it would not be luck by definition as luck is a fortunate or unfortunate outcome which someone plays no part in instigating , 99.9% of people the world over will go to work today and return home safely where as .1% will get struck by a falling item from a tall building , get struck by lightening , get dragged down an alley way and murdered , the amount of concievable outcomes which cannot be anticipated are countless
So why stress or get upset or cling to something that's far beyond your control? Why not just do your part to put yourself in a position so that you can experience said good luck should it come your way?
There's this quote by Oprah. let me see if I can find it for you.
"I feel that luck is preparation meeting opportunity."- Oprah Winfrey
People who feel they've been crapped on blame everything on luck. Good luck, bad luck. Nothing's their fault. People who feel they've been handed a good hand know you make your own "luck".
All you have to do to feel you've had a crappy hand dealt to you is think of the holocaust survivors that think they're the luckiest people in the world.
Your first paragraph really isn't true. Brangelina's kids come to mind. They were plucked out of billions and their legacy will be far different than many children who suffer, are abused, etc through no fault of their own. You don't "make your own luck." What's that saying? Something about preparation meeting opportunity? Sure, we're responsible for the preparation, but not everyone gets the same opportunity.
Regarding your second, do you actually KNOW any holocaust survivors? Are you of one of the groups who was victimized? (And it wasn't just the Jews). Before I would make a statement like that I'd actually have to KNOW and talk with a survivor who knows other survivors to gauge how they really feel. I don't think anyone who is a holocaust survivor would rank as one of the luckiest in the world, as to go through that and survive would have been a horror. Then there is that thing survivor guilt some experience, like the one person on a plane who is not killed in a jet crash. So I would not begin to presume how others who have gone through experiences I have not really feel, unless a group of them told me themselves.
Your first paragraph really isn't true. Brangelina's kids come to mind. They were plucked out of billions and their legacy will be far different than many children who suffer, are abused, etc through no fault of their own. You don't "make your own luck." What's that saying? Something about preparation meeting opportunity? Sure, we're responsible for the preparation, but not everyone gets the same opportunity.
Regarding your second, do you actually KNOW any holocaust survivors? Are you of one of the groups who was victimized? (And it wasn't just the Jews). Before I would make a statement like that I'd actually have to KNOW and talk with a survivor who knows other survivors to gauge how they really feel. I don't think anyone who is a holocaust survivor would rank as one of the luckiest in the world, as to go through that and survive would have been a horror. Then there is that thing survivor guilt some experience, like the one person on a plane who is not killed in a jet crash. So I would not begin to presume how others who have gone through experiences I have not really feel, unless a group of them told me themselves.
Misty, this is a great response to your own initial post. About comparing yourself to others. You can't compare because you haven't had their life. You can't presume to know. We're always on the outside looking in unless you pull out of judgment and try to explore.
P.s: I know you said you infrequently compare so I'm not holding it against you or anything. Just sharing what I felt when I read your post.
So why stress or get upset or cling to something that's far beyond your control? Why not just do your part to put yourself in a position so that you can experience said good luck should it come your way?
There's this quote by Oprah. let me see if I can find it for you.
"I feel that luck is preparation meeting opportunity."- Oprah Winfrey
Oh, I didn't even read your post before I posted the above. Thanks for stating the saying correctly.
As to your first paragraph, unfortunately, we're only human. Have you heard of or read a book called "The Four Agreements?" I think that has to be the BEST book on how to navigate through life, however, in reality it's really hard to put into practice the agreements. I think I am going to have to read that book again just to remind myself not to take other people's stuff personally as it is their stuff, but I digress.
It's hard to gauge just what is or is not beyond our control at times. I think if one can practice "detachment from the outcome" that might help, but I think it's ingrained in us to think maybe we're not doing everything we could to control a situation. At least it is for me. An example - I used to wring my hands thinking somehow I could make a difference in terms of the big stuff - like Nat'l Healthcare Reform. Well, the truth is I did my part as I could to push things forward. However, I am not rich or powerful so I really can't do all that much. So I guess I've just accepted that the Powers That Be are going to do what they will. I'm a grain of sand on a huge beach.
Your first paragraph really isn't true. Brangelina's kids come to mind. They were plucked out of billions and their legacy will be far different than many children who suffer, are abused, etc through no fault of their own. You don't "make your own luck." What's that saying? Something about preparation meeting opportunity? Sure, we're responsible for the preparation, but not everyone gets the same opportunity.
Regarding your second, do you actually KNOW any holocaust survivors? Are you of one of the groups who was victimized? (And it wasn't just the Jews). Before I would make a statement like that I'd actually have to KNOW and talk with a survivor who knows other survivors to gauge how they really feel. I don't think anyone who is a holocaust survivor would rank as one of the luckiest in the world, as to go through that and survive would have been a horror. Then there is that thing survivor guilt some experience, like the one person on a plane who is not killed in a jet crash. So I would not begin to presume how others who have gone through experiences I have not really feel, unless a group of them told me themselves.
Good point. And within that group there could be many different viewpoints.
Survivor guilt is real, and when someone tries to tell a survivor they are "lucky", sometimes you want to whack them.
Misty, this is a great response to your own initial post. About comparing yourself to others. You can't compare because you haven't had their life. You can't presume to know. We're always on the outside looking in unless you pull out of judgment and try to explore.
P.s: I know you said you infrequently compare so I'm not holding it against you or anything. Just sharing what I felt when I read your post.
Well, thank you, but the truth is I can bet with 99% certainly that Brangelina's kids will have a better life than a lot of the children I read about in a thread on another forum entitled "I effing hate being a Mom." Those poor kids are going to have a tough time in life - at least the ones where Moms said they outright hated their kids. Kids pick up on that.
I don't frequently compare my life to others (as there are so many variables involved), but I can and do identify with those who have dealt or deal with what I have. And if I am going through something similar, I might compare my situation to theirs.
Good point. And within that group there could be many different viewpoints.
Survivor guilt is real, and when someone tries to tell a survivor they are "lucky", sometimes you want to whack them.
Exactly. To be a survivor usually implies one has gone through something really tough. I don't know about you, but I'd just as soon not go through the tough stuff as I've had quite enough.
Oh, I didn't even read your post before I posted the above. Thanks for stating the saying correctly.
As to your first paragraph, unfortunately, we're only human. Have you heard of or read a book called "The Four Agreements?" I think that has to be the BEST book on how to navigate through life, however, in reality it's really hard to put into practice the agreements. I think I am going to have to read that book again just to remind myself not to take other people's stuff personally as it is their stuff, but I digress.
It's hard to gauge just what is or is not beyond our control at times. I think if one can practice "detachment from the outcome" that might help, but I think it's ingrained in us to think maybe we're not doing everything we could to control a situation. At least it is for me. An example - I used to wring my hands thinking somehow I could make a difference in terms of the big stuff - like Nat'l Healthcare Reform. Well, the truth is I did my part as I could to push things forward. However, I am not rich or powerful so I really can't do all that much. So I guess I've just accepted that the Powers That Be are going to do what they will. I'm a grain of sand on a huge beach.
Okay, I feel I'm having a better understanding of what you're saying then so thank you for taking the time to respond.
I know for me, my thing was always race relations and loving and accepting yourself as you are. And what I found was that many many people aren't...all there yet. They don't look to the regular everyday people for that or even to themselves, but to the big names in the industry, authority figures, etc? And I felt...helpless.
What I realize now is that by allowing myself to be the best me that I can be and not allowing the "negativity" to keep me down, without trying to control the overall outcomes, my life is transforming and consequently affecting other's lives. An evolution of sorts. I think of the ripple effect.
For example, last year I decided it was time for me to get fit again. I started running, playing tennis, joining gyms. I started meeting other people who were trying to get fit, but what I also found was that the members of my household decided it was time to get fit too.. They didn't want to before, didn't even want to leave the house to start running. My mom, then turned to a friend at work and asked if they'd be willing to run with them and they had a workout regimen. They ran the stairs everyday. My mom's friend has now begun to lose weight and get fit as well. This woman has now joined another friend to go running after work. And the effects continue. Every member of my household is now a part of a gym, or goes running every morning and sometimes at night. Now this isn't to say that I am responsible for this. But I believe there's something about the human will that once inspired, can be infectious.
All this to say () while none of their actions are within my control (I can't control people and what they do, say, think, feel), I feel that when I allow myself to work with the hand I've been dealt, to train it and hone it, then I put myself in a position to effect change should I have the opportunity to do it.
I don't feel like being kids of the rich and famous is all that lucky...I worked at a very exclusive boarding school for rich kids...never saw more dysfunction in my life...and that is saying a lot...the tuition started at $75,000 a year. I worked with 12 year old's who had anorexia...at age 12!!
In the end...life is what you make it....money does not equate happiness...seen lots of rich miserable folks.
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) while none of their actions are within my control (I can't control people and what they do, say, think, feel), I feel that when I allow myself to work with the hand I've been dealt, to train it and hone it, then I put myself in a position to effect change should I have the opportunity to do it.