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Old 08-13-2013, 07:57 PM
 
4,471 posts, read 9,853,401 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
I dare you to go a shelter, social services place, or other place with women in her predicament and say it to these women's faces.
Been there, volunteered for that. I personally think it's much more rewarding to volunteer with the elderly. That and animals.
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Old 08-13-2013, 07:58 PM
 
25,556 posts, read 24,074,354 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
Been there, volunteered for that. I personally think it's much more rewarding to volunteer with the elderly. That and animals.
It maybe, but again, somehow I don't see you saying all this to those women's faces, and getting out in one piece.
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Old 08-13-2013, 07:58 PM
 
7,296 posts, read 11,895,835 times
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Folks, the fact that OP is pregnant and does not have enough money for housing is all water under the bridge by now. Selling her computer and dropping out of school will only ensure that she and her kid remain poor like the kid's dad for the rest of their lives. She is working while going to college which is a good thing and the sooner they can get out of perpetual welfare the better.
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Old 08-13-2013, 08:01 PM
 
4,471 posts, read 9,853,401 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest_Hills_Daddy View Post
Folks, the fact that OP is pregnant and does not have enough money for housing is all water under the bridge by now. Selling her computer and dropping out of school will only ensure that she and her kid remain poor like the kid's dad for the rest of their lives. She is working while going to college which is a good thing and the sooner they can get out of perpetual welfare the better.
If she where to put schooling on hold she could easily get her STNA and make some money. Not ideal, but it's an option.
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Old 08-13-2013, 08:08 PM
 
5,196 posts, read 5,023,518 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yodel View Post
How was my comment nonsense? My response pointed out that some cultures in which pre-marital sex is a "shame" also have severe punishments for it (mostly to women because it is their "fault"). If that is the culture you'd like to raise your daughters in, get on that plane and au revoir.
I am not talking against or for the pre-marital sex. It is a cultural and personal choice. In the op's case, it caused her the problem and stress that is out of her hand, therefore it is an irresponsible act that should have been avoided. If one can handle pre-marital sex and pregnancy without burdening the community, that is a none issue. If it is a small number of violations and the community can afford to carry it forward, that is fine too. I just saw that it is an epidemic situation and it is time to discourage people from doing that, instead of letting the tax payers to solve all their problems, but when will that come to a stop?

I am really talking against the problem in general, nothing against the OP. She sounds like a hard working and ambitious person. If I knew her as a friend I might even be willing to help her out within my means...but for a community you have to put a stop to this epidemic situation.
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Old 08-13-2013, 08:09 PM
 
6,680 posts, read 8,269,258 times
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Curious about the shelter system...
So they take anyone in I know that, and I know you can be there for years.
How would the OP have a baby there and go to work and night school, don't they have rules and restrictions.
Also is that a guaranteed way for her to get an apartment?

I'm just amazed someone who choose to have a child and put them in a potentially unsafe situation. The poor child didn't ask to be brought into this world and now could be bought up in a shelter. To me that's very sad.
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Old 08-13-2013, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Washington, DC & New York
10,914 posts, read 31,467,825 times
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I am not sure if anyone recommended the Sisters for Life, but the religious order does have a pregnancy support mission.

Visitation Mission- Pregnancy Help | Sisters of Life

Birthright International is another group that may be able to help, since they can refer you to sources of housing and care.

Birthright International - Home

Good Counsel Homes provide shelter to expectant and new mothers, too. It is an affiliate of Catholic Charities, but you may also contact the organization directly for assistance.

home | Good Counsel Homes



I know that you said that you do not want to burden your boyfriend with this situation, since he is in school, but remember to keep tabs on him, should the relationship fail (and I sincerely hope that it does not) because he owes child support to your child, even if you do not use it for the child's support as a single mother, but put it aside in an investment fund for the child for college or future needs. Should he walk, and again, I am not saying that he will, and hope that he will not, you need to protect your child's interests, and child support is part of that situation, even if you are able to pay for the day-to-day needs for housing, food, clothing, and care from your salary as a nurse -- he owes support to your child, not to you, and I would take whatever award and invest it in a college savings account if you can cover the expenses as a single mother.

If your brother is not receiving counseling for his problems, then your mother is not helping him. Moreover, turning a blind eye to the violence that is affecting you and her grandchild is a decision that she has made, but you need to act accordingly and support yourself and your child with your income, not contribute to the family's expenses. It is a crisis situation, being exposed to violence, though I would try to work through a pregnancy outreach organization/Catholic Charities as opposed to the shelter system.
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Old 08-13-2013, 08:23 PM
 
25,556 posts, read 24,074,354 times
Reputation: 10120
Quote:
Originally Posted by livingsinglenyc View Post
Curious about the shelter system...
So they take anyone in I know that, and I know you can be there for years.
How would the OP have a baby there and go to work and night school, don't they have rules and restrictions.
Also is that a guaranteed way for her to get an apartment?

I'm just amazed someone who choose to have a child and put them in a potentially unsafe situation. The poor child didn't ask to be brought into this world and now could be bought up in a shelter. To me that's very sad.
The baby won't be brought up in a shelter. As a pregnant women who is the victim of family violence, she'll get priority for NYCHA or some other sort of subsidized housing.

With that said, she should contact any number of the non profits that have been posted here as those caseworkers would be able to provide housing that's safer than a general shelter.
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Old 08-13-2013, 08:34 PM
 
3,357 posts, read 4,646,001 times
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Regarding the angry responses...many people I know have accessed the safety net of Mom and Dad in recent years. At the same time, some of these people have expressed extreme anger at people who access the public safety net. Hypocritical. An accident of birth leaves some with the luxury of never having to walk in the shoes of someone whose family has no resources. I am 100% against people who plan on using it for life, but this is not the case for the person asking the question. Like another poster mentioned, it is water under the bridge - the baby is on it's way. She asked for help, but a critique of what she did wrong.
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Old 08-13-2013, 08:34 PM
 
6,680 posts, read 8,269,258 times
Reputation: 4876
Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
The baby won't be brought up in a shelter. As a pregnant women who is the victim of family violence, she'll get priority for NYCHA or some other sort of subsidized housing.

With that said, she should contact any number of the non profits that have been posted here as those caseworkers would be able to provide housing that's safer than a general shelter.
What about just a pregnant woman, if they had no violence issues? Would they still be in a shelter?
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