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She didn't say he hit her first in that situation. Secondly, she's pregnant, she shouldn't be acting in a violent or aggressive manner nor should she be in a situation where she may be on the receiving end, either. It's not whimp rhetoric, itself self preservation and taking measures to protect her unborn child. I won't debate the idiocy of getting pregnant in her situation. However, she has to take some personal responsibility. Brothers acting "stupid" walk away. Easy enough.
You can't always walk away in an apartment if a violent or crazy person follows you. You'd have to leave the residence altogether, which is what she is doing. She's doing the right thing. Taking herself out of the environment. The stupid thing would be staying in a place where someone is going to hit you or where you're fighting with someone. In that sense, she is taking personal responsibility. She's leaving. It offends some people here, but whatever. By now she's contacted the caseworkers some of us (myself included) have referred her to, and is going on in that direction.
The only reason the earlier pages were not removed is to keep the thread open for the OP's sake, should there be any useful information as I do not have the time to devote to clearing it up right now, so said work would not be immediate. Rest assured, all of the off-topic posts on prior pages are going to be handled.
Thank you for doing this. The useful information might be useful for other people in bad situations, pregnant or not. So I thank you for stepping in and ending the nonsense, and for eventually going back to clean up.
Hi faithrose, from what I know if you go to a nyc shelter through path they will give you a hard time to place you if they know you have a place to stay, even if its some pillows on a floor. They do some investigation to see if you're on any lease and do home visits. Since you have a domestically violent situation you maybe able to go to to path and explain your situation at the regristration and they will send you to a social worker there who will determine wether you need a domestic violence shelter or not. The domestic violence shelters are not like the regular shelters, however when you go into the dv shelter you will still not be able to claim a dv priority with nycha because you need several documents to get that priority. That won't be much of an issue for you since you're not looking to get into nycha. The domestic violence shelter will keep you for 3 months then move you into a stage two shelter for longer which is like having your own little room/apartment. They help you get housing there and jobs, and etc but you're already established in that area. My advice is to apply for low income buildings, such as the lotteries, your job pays you 129 per day or 24k a year if you're permanent so you will be paying like 700 for a 1 bedroom and that's affordable with what you make. There are several resources for you, just go to the hud website. I've made this post very long already and I hope I have helped you in any way. Congrats on your soon to come newborn. Stay strong!
@faithrose girl I had to register just to come in and help you out. none of these ignorant ppl are gonna put money in you or childs pocket or give u shelter to live so ***** them. I lived in a family shelter, it is wat you make it. you wanna be a hoodbooger and lay up and do nothing? you can, if you wanna stack your paper so you can move keep ur head down, don't make friends and don't curse the caseworkers out lol. don't listen to these lames they prob never even stepped in a real shelter. also they have HUD apartments. good luck girl and keep ur head up.
Actually, i hope you do find someplace to stay, but dont you think that you shoukd have thought about this BEFORE you got pregnant?
You and the others that keep harping on this really makes my stomach turn.
She was FOUR MONTHS pregnant when she found out she needed a place to stay (for whatever reason). You don't know her personal or financial situation when the pregnancy came up. She and her child's father could have lost their jobs, exhausted their unemployment and found themselves in need of a place to stay or risk eviction.
As bad as your living situation with your family may be, you should stay with them and not go to a shelter. Heck, even if your family only had a closet for you and your child, that would be preferable to living in a shelter situation, where the vast majority of people often suffer from mental illness and/or substance abuse.
I hope this person didn't follow your advice, because you clearly have no idea of how the city shelter system is run.
She will be placed in a FAMILY shelter, because of her kids or DV situation.
The mentally ill and drug addicts are kept in separate shelters that cater to their particular issues.
Why would you advise a person to stay in a hellish situation when there clearly is no need to?
Also, you are WRONG that the majority in NEW YORK CITY'S shelter system are mentally ill or substance abusers.
Stop putting out MISINFORMATION. This forum is famous for that crap.
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Do you really want to bring a newborn baby into a shelter environment, where you will have little say over your living situation? This is very unwise.
Do you know ANYTHING about the "shelter environment" in NEW YORK CITY?
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My advise is to stay with your family and complete your schooling. BTW, the child's father should be held accountable to pay some level of child support, even if he's also a student.
She can do that in the Shelter system as well and the city WILL make the father responsible for not only child support, but the BIRTH of the child too.
NYC doesn't tell the mother this, but when she uses medicaid for prenatal and birth care, the father WILL be charged for the BIRTH. This is only done in New York City not the entire state or even the country.
Did you see the point where she is fist fighting with her brother and her brother has been arrested? DO you know her brother well enough to know he isn't potentially homicidal?
Some of these people don't care about that NyWriterdude.
They just don't wanna see anyone get a leg up on their "tax dollars". They'd rather her get her ass kicked and continue to live in a chaotic home, because SHE CHOSE TO GET PREGNANT AND NOT TAKE THE PROPER PRECAUTIONS.
So, she basically "made her bed and has to LIE in it".
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You see where some posters have actually outlined how she can use the shelter process to get her own apartment, and one was a woman who went through that process.
Yes, she and the other posters passing judgment on this woman read that info. They do NOT want her to have an "easy" time (in THEIR minds). They want her to be "punished" for her "choices". Disgusting.
^5, Very true. I don't think many women realize that there's a chance you can get pregnant (regardless of the birth control used), therefore it's unwise to have sex (even if it's protected) with a man who has made no commitment towards you and can not support you or any children produced, if a pregnancy occurs.
The OP purports to be a nursing student, but somehow didn't understand that having sex (even with contraception) can result in pregnancy.
WTF?????
Is she NOT supposed to have sex all due to "probabilities"???
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