Pregnant and going to a shelter. I need some friendly helpful advice (low income, condo)
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Hey lemme c if i can b of sum help. I was 4 months pregnant wen i wen into the shelter. It was me n my 5 yr old at the time n i was 4 months pregnant ofcourse this was in nyc. The only program that is being offered is the feps program. They give u the program after 3 months (90 days) once u have obtained a job making no more than $8.00 per hr. U have to have n active public assistance case but in order for u to get a bigger voucher u would have to have the baby 1st so they can add he or she on to ur budget. Now wit that being said i was in the shelter until my son was born plus 5 months bcus they kept telling me he was added on to my case n he wasnt. So i was in the shelter for a total of 15 months. Sad yes i kno..but they gave me a voucher for $1100 but they only pay 900 yeah so i have to put the rest not a prob. I kno how the system wrks in nyc but westchester idk. I would try there i kno they have the feps program but idk how long u have to b there b 4 u get a voucher n they tell u to start looking 4 an apt. Im pretty sure its not as long as ny. I was going to school b 4 n they didnt tell me to go to wrk but ur pregnant so after 7 months they arent going to make u do anything. But if i was u n this is ur last resort u should act quickly so u can get a voucher b 4 u turn 7 months. If u go to the shelter in nyc ur voucher is going to b used only 4 nyc. Westchester voucher would b for westchester county only. They have there own rules. As far as curfews go if u work over night u can get a pass to stay out late. On weekends if u want to visit ur family u can get a overnight pass. Other than that curfew is 9pm in all nyc shelters as for jus trying to get an apt i would jus try n apply for the feps program at BRONX WORKS and c wat they say i think u can jus look for an apt and apply u might not have to go threw the shelter system. well i hope ive helped wit most of ur questions.
Okay here's the story. I'm actually 5 months pregnant due on Christmas with my first child and I'm a junior in college finishing up a bachelor's degree in Registered Nursing in NYC. I'm have been going to school nonstop..winter, spring, summer and fall maintaining a 3.9 GPA. I grew up in some of worst areas and I really want to achieve a great paying career, a home and safe place for to raise my baby.
It has come to the point that i need to go to a shelter because i live with my family and there is absolutely no room for my child and I. There is nothing but conflict and a lack of privacy in this home. And don't get me started on the constant mess of clutter. In addition, I work for the NYC DOE as a per diem substitute so I am making some money but its definitely not enough and the NYCDOE is notorious for not paying their employees on time. I have been stressing out everyday with so much uncertainty on what to do. I have a couple of questions I been dying to get the answers to. If someone can please answer these questions I would be so grateful:
1. Should I pick a shelter in NYC or Westchester county? Why?
2. Which one can help me move into a better place faster before my child comes? How long did your placement take?
3. Do I have to work a job FULL time when im already a college student?
4. Are there any exceptions to come back past curfew if you ask ahead of time?
5. I heard of apartment vouchers they give you. Can that be used anywhere to get a place of your choice?
6. How does the NY shelter process work?
Serious and DETAILED answers only. I would like to know your experiences in a shelter in NY and if anyone has any helpful links i can click on that would be greatly appreciated.
Actually, i hope you do find someplace to stay, but dont you think that you shoukd have thought about this BEFORE you got pregnant?
OP keep your head up. No one and I mean no one, not even on this message board has lived an exemplary life. The only one I know of who has is Jesus. All have made mistakes, have made errors in judgement that's what you call life. We learn from our mistakes (hopefully) and move on.
Those programs are for people like yourself and me, I'm disabled. No one knows the path they'll have in life, sure we can plan and prepare but all the preparing and planning in the world doesn't always suffice. We all go through tests, and a lot of these people here may be going through a test of their own but you'll never know b/c they want everyone to believe they've conquered life. Don't concern yourself with that, it's not their place to judge you or anyone else. You have a lot of positives going for you, you're in school and working to change your situation, you're making good grades so keep that up. Your present situation is temporary so remember that. Don't further stress yourself out by presenting your pearls before swine.
Narcissism is rampant in this country and has attributed to some of the attitudes you see here. If you look up the background on narcissist people you'll find that these are the ones who are judgmental and non-empathic and have no compassion, they are self absorbed and only concerned with what happens to them in any situation. Run from these sort of people b/c they get off on causing misery to any and everyone around them all the while putting themselves on a pedestal.
You're already taking the necessary steps in helping yourself by reaching out here. You know the best way to handle the situation w/ your brother is/was avoidance, unfortunately he keeps provoking you into acting. Sure there are a lot of personalities like this in shelters and the best way to handle these sort of people is to avoid them.
As someone said earlier in the post that it's the attitude of this board to hate anyone receiving any sort of government assistance. In their mind you're just representative of what they see everyday so they attack. Heck I don't like seeing the fraud or laziness that goes on with a lot of these people but not all are like that. You're not like that, you are trying to make a way out of your hell. You've proven you're a strong person, keep being strong and don't stop even after you attain your degree.
So don't waste your time and energy trying to convince these people of anything.
I'll be happy to help answer some of the questions you presented so you can im me if you like.
Okay here's the story. I'm actually 5 months pregnant due on Christmas with my first child and I'm a junior in college finishing up a bachelor's degree in Registered Nursing in NYC. I'm have been going to school nonstop..winter, spring, summer and fall maintaining a 3.9 GPA. I grew up in some of worst areas and I really want to achieve a great paying career, a home and safe place for to raise my baby.
It has come to the point that i need to go to a shelter because i live with my family and there is absolutely no room for my child and I. There is nothing but conflict and a lack of privacy in this home. And don't get me started on the constant mess of clutter. In addition, I work for the NYC DOE as a per diem substitute so I am making some money but its definitely not enough and the NYCDOE is notorious for not paying their employees on time. I have been stressing out everyday with so much uncertainty on what to do. I have a couple of questions I been dying to get the answers to. If someone can please answer these questions I would be so grateful:
1. Should I pick a shelter in NYC or Westchester county? Why?
2. Which one can help me move into a better place faster before my child comes? How long did your placement take?
3. Do I have to work a job FULL time when im already a college student?
4. Are there any exceptions to come back past curfew if you ask ahead of time?
5. I heard of apartment vouchers they give you. Can that be used anywhere to get a place of your choice?
6. How does the NY shelter process work?
Serious and DETAILED answers only. I would like to know your experiences in a shelter in NY and if anyone has any helpful links i can click on that would be greatly appreciated.
As bad as your living situation with your family may be, you should stay with them and not go to a shelter. Heck, even if your family only had a closet for you and your child, that would be preferable to living in a shelter situation, where the vast majority of people often suffer from mental illness and/or substance abuse.
Do you really want to bring a newborn baby into a shelter environment, where you will have little say over your living situation? This is very unwise.
My advise is to stay with your family and complete your schooling. BTW, the child's father should be held accountable to pay some level of child support, even if he's also a student.
As bad as your living situation with your family may be, you should stay with them and not go to a shelter. Heck, even if your family only had a closet for you and your child, that would be preferable to living in a shelter situation, where the vast majority of people often suffer from mental illness and/or substance abuse.
Do you really want to bring a newborn baby into a shelter environment, where you will have little say over your living situation? This is very unwise.
My advise is to stay with your family and complete your schooling. BTW, the child's father should be held accountable to pay some level of child support, even if he's also a student.
Did you see the point where she is fist fighting with her brother and her brother has been arrested? DO you know her brother well enough to know he isn't potentially homicidal?
You see where some posters have actually outlined how she can use the shelter process to get her own apartment, and one was a woman who went through that process.
She should speak to a qualified person (professional) who helps abused women, not jerks who say sit there and potentially have your life endanger.
Why do young women decide to get pregnant when they can not support their child and do not have the baby's daddy's full financial backing? With all the available birth control it seems like its more of an irresponsible choice than an accident.
Is this a cultural thing?
Birth control doesn't stop pregnancy from happening; it decreases the probability of conception. Short of a complete removal of her uterus, any woman having sex has the possibility of conceiving from it.
It isn't safe sex; it's contraceptive sex. They aren't the same thing. I never understand how people can be surprised when a woman who is having sex conceives a child... when they make the assumption that contraception has no fail rate. Conception is the primal result of intercourse.
And now that she is pregnant, no amount of judgement or voiced outrage is going to reverse the FACT that she is already carrying a child. S/he is there, growing... now what? She's trying to figure that out. Trust me- she knows exactly the gravity of the situation she's in; she has to carry around the proof of it every day, unlike the child's father.
Birthright should be able to help/streamline your options. I'm not familiar with the NYC metro enough to recommend one location as being more convenient (for your studies and work) than another so the above link will show all locations in the state, including several in your area.
The one in Wantaugh seems the most city-accessible:
1859 Wantagh Ave.
Wantagh, New York 11793
United States
Phone: 516-785-4070
Last edited by proulxfamily; 08-14-2013 at 07:54 AM..
Don't know. I was told that black women like the bad boys! But then I heard stories like he was genuine, good looking, cool and after that they say it just didn't work out, wasn't making enough money, he was a cheater, he went to prison.
I don't know of any middle class (college educated women) who are having out of wedlock children. Mostly, this sort of behavior is relegated to lower income women.
According to the stats, middle class college educated women are actually foregoing children, or delaying having a family, until much later in life, after marriage.
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as for jus trying to get an apt i would jus try n apply for the feps program at BRONX WORKS and c wat they say i think u can jus look for an apt and apply u might not have to go threw the shelter system. well i hope ive helped wit most of ur questions.
