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I did the club scene for a number of years and found it cold and hostile with women who wanted my resume before they would talk to me. After clubbing all night with my friends I decided to go to church in the morning to repent for the sins I committed the night before. Sitting behind me was beautiful red head who kept smiling at me every time I looked her way. I have now been married to that pretty lady for almost 14 years and have four great kids. Need I say more?
Fantastic story, Stac. I'm happy for the two of you.
In my own case, I often find myself regrettably, after a night of clubbing, ending up in church the next day, with no sins on my record from the previous night for which to repent.
And when I look behind all I see are a couple of ladies fixing their wigs, spitting gum, rubbing Bengay on their arms, and showing the marvels of Polident as they wink at me.
Stac and Miles, although I am very romantic and affectionate, I've been willingly celibate for so long, I am sure there must be a "keep off the grass" sign flashing in my cosmic front yard. Hmmm... If I were into the club scene, I think a lot of people would dance with me and then go dancing off to more willing prospects. Just an old-fashioned party girl at heart. What can I say?
Stac and Miles, although I am very romantic and affectionate, I've been willingly celibate for so long, I am sure there must be a "keep off the grass" sign flashing in my cosmic front yard. Hmmm... If I were into the club scene, I think a lot of people would dance with me and then go dancing off to more willing prospects. Just an old-fashioned party girl at heart. What can I say?
It must be refreshingly and spiritually exhilarating to choose one's state of celibacy.
In my case, and that of many others, there's neither spritual nor physical satisfaction when such condition results from lack of willing partners.
My choice of celibacy came from having too many willing or wannabe sexual partners who had, shall we say, some seriously incompatible ideas about relationships and love--or the lack thereof. Many of whom saw sex as a mandate, a given. So, yes Miles, for me my celibacy is a declaration of freedom and sexual sovereignty--a redirection of energies. How can I even describe to you (or anyone out there reading this post) the deep pain of being wanted sexually (or as a caretaker) but not in terms of love or commitment? It hurt like h***, until I woke up one day and realized that for me sex is too precious and the body too sacred to be shared with someone who may or may not want me as a whole person.
when you mention "help each other grow" in a relationship it scares me. in particular i have always been an avoidant/ambivalent type of character and this has impacted on my being able to kind of pursue what i want(like a promotion) but on the other hand i am not always the type of guy who always knows what he wants either. and there are loads of men out there who do not have my problems and issues and could technically make a better provider than i could
it's complicated yet simple at the same time, but i mean, if i feel these traits i have are not solvable and workable and are therefore ingrained into my character, then how can i actually 'grow" with someone?
i mean, a partner could help me learn to ice skate better than i do now or something like that, but i don't know if i could ever change the core of who i am
It must be refreshingly and spiritually exhilarating to choose one's state of celibacy.
In my case, and that of many others, there's neither spritual nor physical satisfaction when such condition results from lack of willing partners.
Miles, are you really this depressing even when you're offline? Seriously man if so, you've got to change your attitude. Self-confidence will open the door to a whole new reality.
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