Quote:
Originally Posted by Lital_The_Best
They really don't and it eats me alive. I don't know what the chuck I have to do sometimes to get their respect. It's like, no matter what I do-to them-it's never important. They act as if whatever I am doing is of no importance, that I can just drop whatever it is I am doing and do what they want. Every time I plan on doing something, or want to do something, plan on doing something, it's a "whatever" to them. Its one thing if I have to deal with if but I LIVE with it.
Today for instance, I told my mother that I wanted to take my little brothers to karate class after school. However, she goes and takes them shopping, after I took time off so I can take them like I promised. I dropped all the other stuff that I COULD have done with my time just so I can take them but she takes them shopping and says she forgot. She didn't even frakkin apologize! AT LEAST apologize!
What she did wasn't terrible but whenever my time is wasted, its nothing to her because its never a big deal. My family acts as if I don't work, have a hobby and sit at home all day every day with my thumb up my ass. Even if I am working, they'll call me and ask me stupid questions as if I am not working! I.E: Are you home? Can you do this? It's just like they assume stuff.
I'm telling you, no matter what I do in life, no matter what I accomplish, no matter what I achieve, its nothing to them.
I don't ask to be celebrated, put on a pedestal, praised for everything but I would appreciate more respect. I don't even bother talking to them about it because it usually turns into an argument because they blow it off, which in turn angers me and they I have to get nasty because I feel like my point wasn't proven  .
This frustrates me a whole lot. I can climb Mt. Everest 3 times and they wouldn't think its a big deal. I feel undermined and unappreciated. I feel they never really listen to me...I don't know what to do.
Anyone else ever have this issue with their family? |
Yep.
I am the fourth of four. I have founded, grown, and sold three businesses. I have been interviewed multiple times by the Wall Street Journal and on national television. I have clients around the country, including major markets. My wife and I are not rich, but we have done very well. I have lots of friends, plenty of accomplishments, and I have plenty of new, exciting things in the offing. I don't spend my life on CD, even though it seems that way. It's a useful warm up for writing.
Yet I'm still treated in many ways as if I'm less than capable. My sister is in charge of my mother's checking account, even though she spends money like a pimp with a week to live. Just two weeks ago, our family conversation was relevant to what I do for a living. I have clients who pay me significant amounts to do the very thing they were discussing. I chime in a couple of thoughts and my sister says, "I just don't think that's right," and continues spouting her half-baked opinions.
But, in truth, none of that really bothers me any longer. Why? Because I made peace with it.
The secret to happiness is very simple: Do not care what other people think of you. With the exception of your significant other and your employer, the opinions of others matter less than you think. And the more they matter to you, the more power they have over you. Mind you, that is not encouragement for you to ignore your family, be rude to others, or neglect your obligations as a person. At the same time, by relying on external validation for your happiness, you will be forever pursuing praise from others. This is an unhealthy way to live.
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