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Thank you guys for the support. and don't worry, since i was 5 i planned on becoming a veterinarian so school has always been my main priority. i just let a few things get in the way of my goals, but atleast i learned from them. i just wish my mom could see that. and i would like to show my mom that im capable of becoming successful, and i hope that one day i achieve that. i just wish she could be by my side supporting me the whole way like she did with all of my other brothers and sisters, even when they messed up. she used to always tell me shed love me and forgive me no matter what, so maybe there still is something there and shes just trying to teach me something. or maybe not, im not sure yet and i guess only time can tell.
Thank you guys for the support. and don't worry, since i was 5 i planned on becoming a veterinarian so school has always been my main priority. i just let a few things get in the way of my goals, but atleast i learned from them. i just wish my mom could see that. and i would like to show my mom that im capable of becoming successful, and i hope that one day i achieve that. i just wish she could be by my side supporting me the whole way like she did with all of my other brothers and sisters, even when they messed up. she used to always tell me shed love me and forgive me no matter what, so maybe there still is something there and shes just trying to teach me something. or maybe not, im not sure yet and i guess only time can tell.
I'm sure she loves you. It sounds like she is just really not dealing with the disappointment over what you did very well.
In addition, you probably really scared her. When people are scared they can overreact.
Just do the best you can to learn from your mistakes and vow to do better from this point forward. Which means cutting out any negative influences or people who don't have your best interests at heart okay?
I'm glad you're with your sister Faith. I too kept wondering what the heck you could have done that was SO bad your mother disowned you. I could think of a few things that, in this part of the world, might cause that type of reaction - murder was one of them !! Unwanted pregnancy and drugs were the other. Where I come from the last two issues are relatively common and also treated much differently. I moved here from Europe, so we dealt with these types of things much differently. Still, it doesn't matter what you did.
What matters now is what you DO. If the issue was the kids you were hanging out with, stop hanging out with kids that will get you in trouble. Keep clean and work on improving your life. It will mean the difference in having a successful life or perhaps dying young. You likely know this.
There are obviously all kinds of parents out there. We went through hell and high water with our daughter and I was a mess for a couple of years when she was 14 and 15. I would never ever have considered throwing her out !!! But, her very best friend WAS thrown out at age 14. After that, she lived most of the time with us. Very trying times.
Now, you would not believe these things happened as my daughter is a straight A student about to head off to a fantastic University.
Things do get better. Try to set your family aside and work on yourself. They need to work on themselves too, but that is no longer your problem.
I am 9 miles from Kernersville, in Greensboro. If you want to meet for lunch sometime, let me know. You can never have enough advocates.
i guess i might as well admit that what i did had to do with drugs. everyone in my life already knows what ive done so there isn't any point in hiding it. I got mixed up with drugs, like an idiot. and me and my boyfriend got caught with weed. and he told the cops it was all his and took the blame for all of it, so he got charged and i didn't but i still got in a whole lot of trouble at home. and i feel horrible that he got into trouble without me and that everyone else in my life now looks at me like a complete failure. i know that all of this was just straight up stupid. it was never worth it.it has completely ruined my life, and i wish i could take it all back. im sorry to hear all of the trouble all of you guys have also been through, its really hard and i guess everyone has some kind of trouble in their life. i hope that everything works out here though like it seems to have in most of you guys' life. i really do appreciate the advice. thanks!
Last edited by Faithhiee; 05-24-2012 at 08:39 AM..
i guess i might as well admit that what i did had to do with drugs. everyone in my life already knows what ive done so there isn't any point in hiding it. I got mixed up with drugs, like an idiot. and me and my boyfriend got caught with weed. and he told the cops it was all his and took the blame for all of it, so he got charged and i didn't but i still got in a whole lot of trouble at home. and i feel horrible that he got into trouble without me and that everyone else in my life now looks at me life a failure. i know that all of this was just straight up stupid. it was never worth it. and i wish i could take it all back. im sorry to hear all of the trouble all of you guys have also been through, its really hard and i guess everyone has some kind of trouble in their life. i hope that everything works out here though like it seems to have in most of you guys' life. i really do appreciate the advice. thanks!
Everything does work out for the better, no matter what. Count your blessings and progress in your life.
As long as you stay away from the drugs and keep your head on straight, you'll be okay. Life is not always a walk in the part, as you have already figured out, but if you know where you made mistakes and you do not fall into that trap again, you'll come through this. The coming days/months (perhaps years) will be hard for you, but they should also be rewarding. Please do not be swayed by any temptation to resort to drugs or street life. It will mean the end of your future.
I hope the young man who got charged has learned his lesson too. Same things apply to him.
It is a great big world. With work and determination, you can fulfill your dreams. There are people and organizations out there to help you along the way. Education is a major part of this equation. If you are a Senior in High School, you should be working on where you will go to school in the Fall of this year. It's a little late for that now, so I hope you have something in mind.
If not, GTCC would be a good place to start. I am confident you would qualify for financial aid.
your completely right, i will not be making the same mistake twice, it messed up everything once and i have no doubt it would do it again. as for the guy who got charged, hes got it rough now too so i think he is learning. he is having trouble paying the bills and what not at his own place now after paying all of the fees for his charge. technically i could have moved in with him and tried to help, but i feel like that would have been a horrible idea, for one. we aren't married. for two. if something were to happen between us i wouldn't have had a place to go again. plus i don't know that i should associate myself with him anymore. im gonna just keep going until i get my life back on track and hopefully to where it was just a few weeks ago. i don't graduate until next year (im a rising senior) and i haven't looked at any colleges yet. my mom never really got around to explaining all of that to me. and im not sure how im going to pay for it, but i will get there somehow.
You are wise if you stick to what you've said. Stay with your sister. Let the young man work on his on situation. You are a legal minor. I don't know his age, but you don't want to go live with him. It could cause him even greater problems if someone (like your Mom) complains to the authorities.
As to school, I'd be more than happy to explain how the application process works and how those on low or no incomes apply. Don't think about the money. Think about your grades. Do the best you can and then take it from there. When you enter your senior year, you will begin filling out applications for Universities. Some have deadlines for applications in November. Your guidance counselor can help you determine what is best for you. Most of the Univ.'s have application fees and I'm not sure how to avoid those, but your counselor at school will know.
One thing at a time. Right now, you need to focus on settling in with your sister and flying right. A summer job would help.
You're on the right track, but IMO, you need adult guidance to keep you there. Keep posting here. There are several wise folks who have posted on this thread. I'm sure they will all continue as long as you keep letting us know what's going on and, of course, when you need help, etc.
You are wise if you stick to what you've said. Stay with your sister. Let the young man work on his on situation. You are a legal minor. I don't know his age, but you don't want to go live with him. It could cause him even greater problems if someone (like your Mom) complains to the authorities.
As to school, I'd be more than happy to explain how the application process works and how those on low or no incomes apply. Don't think about the money. Think about your grades. Do the best you can and then take it from there. When you enter your senior year, you will begin filling out applications for Universities. Some have deadlines for applications in November. Your guidance counselor can help you determine what is best for you. Most of the Univ.'s have application fees and I'm not sure how to avoid those, but your counselor at school will know.
One thing at a time. Right now, you need to focus on settling in with your sister and flying right. A summer job would help.
You're on the right track, but IMO, you need adult guidance to keep you there. Keep posting here. There are several wise folks who have posted on this thread. I'm sure they will all continue as long as you keep letting us know what's going on and, of course, when you need help, etc.
We are here to help, or at least give emotional support
Faith, you're getting some really good advice here. I, too, hope you can get credit for your almost-completed junior year - this misfortune/mistake really came at an awkward time scholastically, but get in touch with your former high school and see what can be done, if you missed final exams or assignments or too many days. Going to summer school might be a very good choice. Talk with both your former guidance counselor and tell him or her everything you've posted here - the school may be able to make accommodations to help you, since you're serious about graduating next year and the decision to leave your home was not entirely yours.
Your parents have a legal responsibility to provide you with food, shelter, clothing, health care, and education until you are eighteen (or in some places, until you graduate from high school). If you are living with your sister with their "permission", they need to pay her child support if she's providing some of the above services. This might take the form of contributing to your sister's rent, utility and food bills, paying for your health insurance and other health care costs, giving you a clothing allowance, and so on. A lawyer experienced in family law and child advocacy can sort this out, and there is likely to be a state agency for children and youth which can do the same.
If you think there's any chance your mother might relent, you might consider writing her a letter of apology, both for your actions which triggered her over-the-top response and for causing her such worry and pain. That said, it seems to me that she is certainly causing you an equivalent amount of pain and is also rather vindictively setting you up for far more future difficulties than you could ever "deserve". Perhaps her pride is playing a part - perhaps she feels compelled to present the image of the perfect family. Whatever is behind it, it seems very excessive to me. However, don't let the fear of future difficulties overwhelm you. Being with your sister puts you into a much calmer and less judgmental place, so you can plan for your own best future. I am so glad you have such a good, caring sister...
Best wishes to her, and to you.
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