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A friend of mine allowed her sister to move into her home after the sister lost her job and had financial troubles. The sister and her were always distant and are completely different people. If it weren't for the blood relation neither of them would give the other the time of day.
Now a year has passed and the sisters unemployment is over, she is still broke and jobless. She rarely leaves the house and is not looking for work. Just freeloading. (She refuses to move out and has no where to go or will other friends family members let her live with them. She would be homeless if she moved out.)
If it were you, how would you evict your brother or sister who is freeloading.
I've never been in that situation but I would suggest giving the sister a deadline of a month or two (state an actual date). The sister needs to have a job and start paying for food and rent by that date or she needs to move out. Even if they need to put their suitcase on the sidewalk and change the locks.
It would be different if the sister was actively looking for work and just couldn't find anything, in that case I would let her stay longer.
Maybe sit her down and find out why she's not looking for work. Is she depressed? What does she do all day at home? Does she have any qualifications at all for local jobs? Does she need to take some classes and can your friend encourage her to at least get out and attend those? Something needs to motivate this woman to get off the couch and something constructive with her time.
A friend of mine allowed her sister to move into her home after the sister lost her job and had financial troubles. The sister and her were always distant and are completely different people. If it weren't for the blood relation neither of them would give the other the time of day.
Now a year has passed and the sisters unemployment is over, she is still broke and jobless. She rarely leaves the house and is not looking for work. Just freeloading. (She refuses to move out and has no where to go or will other friends family members let her live with them. She would be homeless if she moved out.)
If it were you, how would you evict your brother or sister who is freeloading.
I wouldn't kick my sister out because of this. Now if she was disrespectful and a thief, then yeah, she has to go, but unemployment nah, that's a valid reason to stay.
Remember these sisters have no personal relationship, in fact they never like each other and before the freeloader moved in they never talked.
If you give her a deadline what how do you actually implement the move out if nothing happens? Do you call the police or hire a private detective? Does she move into the park across the street? What if she comes back inside after you kick her out? Do you change the locks and get a court order to keep her away?
If you give her a deadline what how do you actually implement the move out if nothing happens? Do you call the police or hire a private detective? Does she move into the park across the street? What if she comes back inside after you kick her out? Do you change the locks and get a court order to keep her away?
This is moving out of Non-Romantic Relationships and into Renting as a topic.
Even if there is no formal lease - sometimes ESPECIALLY if there is no formal lease - there are statutes governing what the homeowner can and cannot do to remove an unwanted longterm guest. And they vary by state and even by municipality within a state.
Your friend needs to start by consulting an attorney (many areas have attorneys who do pro-bono work, if money is a problem) to find out what specific statutes are in effect for her place of residence. Embarking on a course of action without first confirming that she is on firm legal ground is an invitation to disaster.
You can also post an inquiry in the http://www.city-data.com/forum/renting/ area of City-Data for other insights. Be sure to specify the city/state where the homeowner lives in your initial post, as that is critical for the regulars there to be able to respond helpfully.
I kicked a friend out. My best friend for a number of years.
She was an alcoholic who had been in recovery for seven years. I was divorced and living in my mother's home with my daughter, and she'd lost her job and decided to move back to my part of the state. She and my daughter got along well and they came up with the idea of us all renting a house together. I paid 2/3s of the rent/utilities and she paid 1/3. Right after she moved in I started to suspect she was drinking again. I confronted her, and she went to AA. Right after THAT she found out she had cancer, lymphoma. Because she was on unemployment/temporary disability, she got charity care and received all her medical treatment/chemo/meds from the state for free. It took about nine months, and the cancer wasn't curable, but they could get it out of an aggressive stage and she could potential live another 30 years with it, just watching her health and her immune system.
So, what did she do upon completion of her treatment? Started to drink from dawn until she passed out around midafternoon, usually by the time my daughter got home from school. Sometimes burners on the stove would be going because she cooked something and forgot to turn off the stove. One time she'd passed out in the kitchen right on top of the dishwasher and broke off the racks and the door. I called her family, I called her AA buddies, no one could help her and she just didn't want to quit drinking. She'd stand there slurring and stupid and swear she hadn't had anything to drink.
I had to put her out. My daughter's dad was an alkie and I got rid of him. There was no way I was going to subject my kid to having to live with another self-centered drunk. And I was angry as hell--I know the AA/Al-anon rhetoric and recitations about how their drinking has nothing to do with you--but it DOES. The alcoholic gets to merrily live their life in a haze without responsibilities or remembering what they did while those around them bear the brunt of their addiction and clean up their messes.
I have not seen her in three years now. She has called and left messages pretending to want to "make amends", but she is drunk when she makes those calls. It is sad to lose a friend or relative to addiction, but sometimes kicking them to the curb and pretending they are dead is all you can do to retain your own sanity.
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