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Old 10-06-2012, 07:33 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,728,391 times
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Anyone have examples?

For some reason even if you are in a suburb, some neighbors tend to be be nosy or appear just when you are home from work, or getting the mail in your mailbox.

Has anyone had an issue like this and what do you do to just point it out.
In the suburbs where my mailbox is a walk down the driveway, I find it happens alot more than in the city, where everyone kind of just goes about their business and doesnt come running over to talk.

Idle small talk-
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Old 10-06-2012, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Connecticut is my adopted home.
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I think that most people like to at least know who their neighbors are at least in a casual sense. I don't understand the problem being a friendly person. You introduce yourself, chit-chat for a moment and then you are done. Repeat chit-chat occasionally. If said neighbor gets too much in your space, plead an unavoidable call, errand or the like. Rinse and repeat. You now have a neighbor that will call the police if they see something awry.
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Old 10-06-2012, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
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Meh.

I have my dogs for security.

In the example I am citing this person is an "in your face' type who wants to know all about your career, your ex, etc. Plus she seems to need a sounding board about her cheating husband. I have been polite. But after 8 years really Id think shed get the hint.

Phony chit-chat is not something I have time for.
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Old 10-06-2012, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Connecticut is my adopted home.
2,276 posts, read 3,065,273 times
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In the example I am citing this person is an "in your face' type who wants to know all about your career, your ex, etc. Plus she seems to need a sounding board about her cheating husband. I have been polite. But after 8 years really Id think shed get the hint.


Whole 'nother problem than merely chatty neighbors.
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Old 10-06-2012, 09:56 PM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,493,126 times
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8 years - you're not gonna change a pattern established over that lenght of time.
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Old 10-06-2012, 09:59 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,728,391 times
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Naturally.
I dont expect to change a 58 yr old woman who sits home all day and spies on her neighbors. Just trying to figure a tactful comment to make , instead of saying how I really feel
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Old 10-06-2012, 10:28 PM
 
5,703 posts, read 16,130,013 times
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Do you live in my neighborhood? I have lived in many neighborhoods and my current neighbor is probably the most nosey bizarre woman I have ever met. It kind of bums me out because this is my favorite house and neighborhood we have ever lived in. When we were moving in I saw her staring out the window watching us. My husband noticed her and we just kind of chuckled about it. Chalked it up as someone being curious which is normal. The next day she came over and introduced herself. I wont ever forget our first meeting because it was early march, very chilly and cloudy out. She wore sunglasses and I couldnt help but feel it was an attempt to hide her eyes from me. She asked me very intrusive questions. The type you might ask someone after knowing them a long time. She quizzed me about my employment. I told her I was a stay at home mom and then proceeded to ask me if I was ever going to get a job, how long I have ever worked and so forth. She did this every time we talked and really started to tick me off. One time she bugged me about the job thing and I mentioned an interview I had scheduled at a local university. She said, "oh as a professor?" Umm no. I explained it was in one of the offices. She seemed disappointed. I now work at home and she probably still thinks Im some free loader that doesnt do a damn thing all day.

I tried to avoid her but much like your setup, my mailbox is at the curb and a good stretch from my front door. She seemed to run out her house everytime I was out there. Sometimes I cringed getting the mail. Again with all the questions. Then she would inform me of who the other neighbors were, what they did for a living, how many kids they had, who was a jerk, who was doing this or that. She has nick names for all the neighbors which are unflattering. "That is where the fat people live", "Those are the black people" and so on. Makes me wonder what nick names she has for us.

She is also a pointer. I really hate that. She would point at houses and give me the low down on who lived there and so forth. I really tried with this woman but she is a trip. I have never met anyone in my life that I have absolutely zilch in common with. Can't talk about our kids because her parenting style is different than mine. Cant talk about decorating because its a waste of money. Politics are a big no no. She is ultra conservative and Im a moderate but I feel like a bleeding heart liberal talking to her. lol. Tv? Nope she doesnt watch tv and only allows her kids to watch PBS once a week. Eating out? Nope, that is a waste of money and she only eats at home. Books? We dont like the same. Music? She is a huge Barry Manilow fan and well.... I wont go there. Its almost amazing that I cant find one morsel of common interest with this person.

She started inviting us to BQs at her house and has the worst hostess skills ever. We would politely decline hoping she would get the hint. Never seemed to work and we felt bad for saying no so much. Her husband is a great guy. Again with intrusive questions and some are really offensive IMO. Like when she asked me if I had been a teenage mom. Ummm noooo. Why would you ask someone that? Im 40. She is my age. Its not like I look 18 or something. So after 4 yrs she finally figured out Im avoiding her. Now she kids wont even wave to me or they ride by on their bikes looking scared to talk to me. I know she has bad mouthed me to them. Mother of the year. So I just avoid as much as possible. Her husband will stop and chat with us but he looks over at his house too much. You can tell he knows he is being watched. She definitely rules the roost. My other neighbors kind of keep to themselves and after some time and getting to know them a little, all the gossip I heard from nosey neighbor is so off base it makes me wonder if she sits around just making stuff up in her head. She is best friends with a woman down the street. They are a little clique. Reminds me of high school.
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Old 10-07-2012, 07:39 AM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,493,126 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey View Post
Naturally.
I dont expect to change a 58 yr old woman who sits home all day and spies on her neighbors. Just trying to figure a tactful comment to make , instead of saying how I really feel
"I'm sorry - just stepped out for a moment - I have something on the stove."

"I can't talk now - I really have to get this done. I have an appointment at X o'clock."

"Wow, I'm sorry I can't help you. You should probably talk to your husband/see a professional."
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Old 10-07-2012, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Dallas
5,599 posts, read 4,906,169 times
Reputation: 16445
There's nothing creepier than having the feeling that your every move is being watched. We moved to a new neighborhood and for the first few days, every time I stepped out of the house, one of our neighbors would magically appear in his yard. If I went into my back yard, he showed up within seconds in his backyard. If I went out the front door, there he'd be in his front yard. It was disturbing.
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Old 10-07-2012, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Sunny Bay Area, CA
1,568 posts, read 1,776,327 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
Do you live in my neighborhood? I have lived in many neighborhoods and my current neighbor is probably the most nosey bizarre woman I have ever met.
Hi fallingwater, what a crazy lady! I feel for you! My fiance also works from home running a business and one of our neighbors totally thinks he sits on his butt all day doing nothing and asked him "when are you going to get a job? How do you pay the bills?" So rude and he explained what he does. This neighbor doesn't seem to believe him or understand the concept because he asked again about how on earth we can possibly pay bills on 1 income. It's so stupid.
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