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Id like to reverse this for a minute, maybe it will help w. perspective.
My brother is extremely well-to do. As is his wife, my SIL.
I have not expected or received a gift from them for a decade. What a married couple does in their family, is their business. It is not appropriate to meddle in other peoples families.
If you have a party, bring food or wine. It will help your sanity alot more than expecting "similar treatment" from your sister, and/or her husband.
I cant help but think you are wanting something from them, which imo, is unrealistic and rather selfish. Sorry.
OPs sister is hosting a Christmas gathering that includes both sides of the families (the sister's and the sister's husband). Only the husband's side of the family will be receiving gifts at this gathering.
They make a big show of one-by-one his side of the family opening their gifts while everyone sits around and oohs and aahs. While the sister's side of the family sits there with hurt feelings because they were not similary treated. (and by the way, I imagine the husband's side must feel a little awkward by this show)
OP is concerned about her mother's feelings of being left out. OP does want something - she wants some consideration from her sister and BIL about their feelings. If sister and BIL want to do an exchange with his side only - fine, but don't put on a big show in front of those who are not included.
I don't blame her. It's tacky and excluding to do a gift exchange this way.
when YOU ask for responses,then you most certainly do have to take all the responses you get. No one has gotten hostile with you. You are so defensive and your perception is quite skewed. I'm going to continue reading and responding until the thread is closed. Perhaps you should request it be closed because very few people are going to tell you what you want to hear.
You mentioned that you may need counseling. I'm inclined to agree with you on this. Not being snarky-I'm serious.
No one has gotten hostile with me?
Come on now let's face reality:
Sounds like the whole family has problems!
Example above is a post that serves NO PURPOSE except to be nasty. It gives no experiences, suggestions, or otherwise useful comments in addition to the negativity. I don't need that. I can beat myself up very well without help, thank you.
Yet another cheap shot from someone deliberately misunderstanding why I have a problem with this. Go ahead, get your cheap anonymous internet shots in by all means.
Actually, I think you that is misunderstanding your own reaction to the email.
I love how you feel free to insult anyone that disagrees with you. You don't want to hear the honest, brutal truth, then don't put it out there on the internet. I think it might be time for some self-reflection.
Example above is a post that serves NO PURPOSE except to be nasty. It gives no experiences, suggestions, or otherwise useful comments in addition to the negativity. I don't need that. I can beat myself up very well without help, thank you.
Another one getting a cheap shot in by deliberately misunderstand what I am upset about. Yeah, presents is all this about! Please drive through and don't come again.
That clears it up, actually. Since presents is all this is about, you've readily admitted that you are completely materialistic.
OPs sister is hosting a Christmas gathering that includes both sides of the families (the sister's and the sister's husband). Only the husband's side of the family will be receiving gifts at this gathering.
They make a big show of one-by-one his side of the family opening their gifts while everyone sits around and oohs and aahs. While the sister's side of the family sits there with hurt feelings because they were not similary treated. (and by the way, I imagine the husband's side must feel a little awkward by this show)
OP is concerned about her mother's feelings of being left out. OP does want something - she wants some consideration from her sister and BIL about their feelings. If sister and BIL want to do an exchange with his side only - fine, but don't put on a big show in front of those who are not included.
I don't blame her. It's tacky and excluding to do a gift exchange this way.
Actually, I think you that is misunderstanding your own reaction to the email.
I love how you feel free to insult anyone that disagrees with you. You don't want to hear the honest, brutal truth, then don't put it out there on the internet. I think it might be time for some self-reflection.
I'm responding in kind to people who insult me, not those who disagree respectfully and thoughtfully. Plenty of people have done that and I accept it.
Perhaps you all are used to people who get beat up on here and just slink away?
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