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Points well taken. I would stay out of her problems as much as possible and distance yourself from her for a while. I would not want a friend like this and in time would make contact less and less frequent.
The issue of genuine trust of her has been thrown out the window, don't you think?
+1
This type of behavior is not real friend behavior, she is toxic and putting EVERYONE around her in a very bad position. Inconsiderate, selfish, self centered... the list goes on and on.
Are you sure the wife doesn't already know? I would leave it alone and mind my own business. This is one of those situations where if you speak up you lose. If there's a divorce your involved. If not the friendship is over because the husband won't want you around. Then again today HIV is a concern.
That's a tough situation to be in but I would want to know if that happened to me. I think she has the right to know her friend and her husband are both douchbag cheaters.
My friend and I have known each other for 15 years. She went through a painful divorce. Long story short, her ex husband is a douchebag.
I just found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping with our other friend's husband and she claims their marriage is long over. That is why her behavior is totally justified
well, I don't know how I feel about this. I truely values our relationship but I have to say that I don't judge my friend because I thought about cheating myself (I thought about it a lot lately but I will not act on it)
I am not very sure that if I can face my other friend (knowing what her husband has been cheating behind her back)
what would you do if you are in my situation.
Oh, please -- you know EXACTLY how you feel about this. What she has done is made you complicit in her adultery, and that is tremendously unfair to you. Plus, I have to wonder WHY she thought you would think it was OK . . .
You are known by the company you keep. Why shouldn't you use your judgement and choose the people you want to have in your life, those whose values you respect? You were gifted with discernment and a sense of right and wrong. USE IT. Otherwise, frankly, your judgement is somewhat suspect, if you choose to surround yourself with friends who rationalize adultery. What is wrong with holding her to a higher standard than a stray cat?
Frankly, I'd dump the bed-jumping friend and support the other friend -- she's going to need it.
I'm puzzled. While I agree I'd dump the friend is it any surprise the OP is struggling with the decision when she herself admits to almost cheating, wanting to cheat, etc.? Kind of hypocritical isn't it? Also, why would someone go on a public forum and announce "I'm thinking of cheating"?
Also, being the kind of person I am and KNOWING that everyone MIGHT end up being completely pi$$ed at me, I'd let the cat out of the bag, anyway! I most certainly would!
For those who are saying, "Just stay out of it.", I have this to say...If it was me, who was being cheated on by one of my friends, and the OTHER friend knew about it, but didn't say anything, I'd never....and i mean EVER talk to either one of them again. Once the truth came out, especially if I found out that the deceit and deception had been going on (with my husband and BOTH friends), for a long time, I would have a damn hard time ever trusting anyone again.
If you let her know what's going on, at least she'll know that there's SOMEONE on this world she can trust! Good grief, how would YOU feel if you were in the same situation! Damn, someone's gonna be hurt here. Exactly who are you trying to protect here, by keeping your mouth shut? You. That's who! You're not protecting the friend whose being cheated on. You're protecting a pair of friggin' cheaters. Do you really want a friend who would cheat with her friend's husband? After all, once she's done with him....you could end up with a man and she could cheat with him? I say blow the whistle and save yourself while you can...if it's not already too late!
All of this 100% on and exactly how I would feel and handle it. I have been in her position before, both actually and come to think of it it's kinda sad that I have been on both sides of this situation.
I had gotten my boyfriend a job at my work and a couple months later he had started hooking up with one of the other waitresses. Let's just say all the kitchen staff and other waitresses knew about it. I hated that everyone knew and didn't tell me (because it wasn't any of there business) so I can't imagine what it would be like if a friend knew and didn't tell me. I'd not be friends with her/him anymore.
A few years later I became mutual friends with a married couple (Through a different boyfriend) the guys go on deployment and she meets someone. Her "boyfriend" then had an interest in getting to know me, talk to me, take me out etc..I told him to F' off. I proceed to tell her about it and she thought I was stealing her "boyfriend"...when she was married to her husband. Because of what I went though in the past, l contemplated whether I should say anything at all. After all I would want to know if I was being cheated on. So I told my boyfriend about what I knew, which got back to the husband. In the end, we are no longer friends, but I'm glad I still said something. To my knowledge she and her husband are still together.
Last edited by Carrie2979; 05-05-2014 at 05:16 PM..
I'm puzzled. While I agree I'd dump the friend is it any surprise the OP is struggling with the decision when she herself admits to almost cheating, wanting to cheat, etc.? Kind of hypocritical isn't it? Also, why would someone go on a public forum and announce "I'm thinking of cheating"?
Thinking about cheating is not the same as opening your legs and actually cheating, and then bragging about it to your bestie. Most people who think about cheating realize that it's a signal that something in their primary relationship needs to be fixed and then go about fixing it. The ones that don't end up in divorce court.
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