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im very intrigued in this thread. is your cousin like a normal 28 yr old? (eg. has a healthy number of friends, worklife balance, dresses well, relatively social) I mean it might be a little judgmental but she really is a little uptight about things...and sounds like she just needs a man in her life haha. If what you have listed in the original post is all you have been doing (its normal to date, and normal to have a few drinks once in a while) - you sound quite responsible to me overall.
Chores are reasonable - its your way of giving back. But the grounding is very unnecessary...in fact if i were in your position i would feel quite ridiculed...a 19 year old being grounded is unheard of, really.
Some of you are acting like you never drank underage when you were a teen. It's a part of adolescence! I believe, while it is her right to make you do chores, as she is paying for the house, she is by no means allowed to ground you. She is only nine years older than you, and certainly not a parental figure in your life. You have to respect her rules for the house, but she shouldn't be monitoring.
And as a side note, if I was 28 and had a college-aged cousin living with me, I wouldn't be worried about whether he drinks or not. He's 19, not 13. And the chances of you being "arrested" for merely drinking, next to none.
When I was 16 my mother told me basically, "Look, I know you're going to drink, everyone does and I can't really stop you, and I don't care, as long as you don't drink and drive". I think that's a totally appropriate approach to the situation, not just banning it altogether.
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