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"pessimistic" is more like it. Usually because someone has an idea to do something and I jump 6 steps ahead and see all the potential problems. It's not that I don't think things are good ideas necessarily, but my mind automatically thinks of what could go wrong with whatever is being presented, so I can do things in the best possible way. For people who just act before thinking I'm sure I seem like a buzz kill, but I'm really not. Sometimes bad ideas can be made good with a little tweaking.
I do this at work a lot. I think out loud too so everyone can hear me breaking things down. Not everyone appreciates that but in the end I'm usually the one with the final, workable, plan. Or I get vetoed and I'm stuck dealing with inefficient things which really makes me negative! LOL!
I AM a realist and a logical thinker so the dreamers of the world don't really like talking to me unless something goes wrong, then they come to me for help. People can make simple things so complicated it frustrates me to no end. But that's life.
I feel that's happened to me a few times throughout the years ... used to bother me, now not so much.
eh not negative at all, blunt, abrasive, mean, heartless and sometimes downright nasty but never negative. The thing is, I just don't care and never have.
It really depends on the person. I've known a number of people who were really pessimists, but called themselves "realists" because they called it like they "see it," except they really only saw negative things. But, of course, they were totally deluded into thinking that all the negative things were the *only* things, because that's all they paid attention to. Then if you tried to point out something positive they had missed, they'd dismiss it and immediately talk about something negative again. For them, the positive thing carried less weight than the negative thing, and being a "realist" (in their own mind) meant that they were totally unbiased and the negative thing really did mean more than anything positive.
Frankly, I think a lot of the people who have the "I call it like I see it" attitude, "call" out a lot more things that are negative than are positive. Usually, they're happy to go on and on about something they see as being bad, an injustice, unfair, whatever, but won't spend nearly the same amount of time going on about something that was good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elhelmete
Yep.
How many times will someone who "tells it like it is" just suddenly start ticking off nice (and true) comments about someone/something?
I feel that's happened to me a few times throughout the years ... used to bother me, now not so much.
Yes, I'm this way. People mistake it for unhappiness, anger, or depression...........but in reality, I just can't stand the idea of holding in how I feel about something. Bad enough I have to bite my tongue at work, now you except me to do it in my personal life as well? Absolutely not..........
I used be that way....so much negative stuff came out of my mouth.
Lost a relationship because of it...I cringe at how I sounded...sigh.
No more...because I stop the stinkin thinkin in my mind now.
Who knew you could control your thoughts and switch them to kind, happy, fun
thoughts!
I am the happiest most content person I know....my friends see a huge difference....
they love being around me now and told me I am the only person they know that is happy
and not complaining about something....what a pleasure to hear me just answer the phone!
Bad thoughts are a choice...I never knew that till about 2006-7.
Now my choices keep me very happy and clear and confident.
And I laugh a lot!!!......now.
I had to rep you on this!
Throughout my younger years I was often called negative by family members. Abuse, both physical and mental runs on both sides of my family. I grew up around total dysfunction and was extremely angry most of the time.
It took a lot of soul searching to realize I just didn't like many people and situations in my family and was "acting out" of frustration. Slowly over the years, I removed toxic people and family out of my life. Jumped on a plane many years ago to get away from my family. I remember feeling like if I didn't get away from them, it was going to kill me.
I moved to the desert and began working on my issues and became much more grounded. Many years later, I can reflect on my past without feeling like it defines me. I smile more, feel at peace and don't feel the need to carry all that baggage from childhood.
I believe the reason my attitude has changed is because I no longer feel trapped. The anger? I let it go and I make sure not surround myself with negative people or put myself in toxic situations.
The workplace also has a big influence on how I feel. I have been lucky enough to be able to design my career the way I want but that also took some time to figure out.
I believe that I tend to respond to people that irk me without having a "filter" at times. I also have a hard time dealing with toxic and manipulative people. I used to challenge those personality types, but it's too draining! Knowing that, I work hard on thinking and listening before I open my mouth - I am very careful about who I associate with. I am social/friendly but avoid people that are confrontational.
Life is easier once I realized that I am in control of my own happiness.
If you say anything that doesn't conform to the pre-packaged, mass-consumed, PC-approved, made-for-TV views that are shoved down everyone's throats, you absolutely will be labeled.
It's a lot easier for people to label anyone who says something that's not lamestream-approved as a hater, racist, whatever, than it is for the listener to actually think for themself. Baaahhh, baaahhhh, nothing to see here, back to the feed trough.
At first it was kinda irksome, but I've learned to accept it. I also keep my mouth shut a lot more now unless someone asks my opinion on something.
There's a huge gap between speaking one's mind and just mindlessly shooting off one's mouth. The difference, of course, is diplomacy and open-mindedness. As one example, when I hear someone say, "I'm just being brutally honest," they are generally more interested in being brutal than honest. In truth, people who get labeled as 'negative' have typically not matured enough to understand that it's quite possible to be critical of something and constructive at the same time.
I've encountered plenty of people whose idea of "speaking my mind" consisted of the knee-jerk trashing of anything new, different, or requiring additional work. It's almost as if their motto in life is, "It's new, therefore I fear it." Then they wonder why, after a while, they become ignored. That's why, when people ask my opinion on things, I tend to count to ten before speaking.
Yes, I often get called negative by my mom and sisters for simply expressing an opinion or factual statement.
Often times it's just matter of fact stuff like, "if I don't save more money I won't have enough money for retirement."
Besides being negative, the statement has a passive "pity me" attitude.
I would say instead "I am determined to save more so that I have enough money for retirement." The facts are the same, but the statement is a lot more positive.
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