Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
See that's exactly it, I think the idea of re-structuring the original statement for the mere sake of being "positive" is disingenuous and phony, and sums up a lot of what I don't like about society.
I wouldn't necessarily call that "positive" as much as I would call it making it more of a declarative, pro-active statement. I don't hear it as polly-anna at all.
I feel that's happened to me a few times throughout the years ... used to bother me, now not so much.
Sounds like a character flaw or mental defect, unable to tell when crossing the line. Most people can hone that skill but to those who can't, ZOIKS. I try to stay away.
Haha! YES! This is code for "I'm a giant d-bag." I've used the above phrases myself for years to justify telling the truth to others. I figured I owed it to the world to keep it real, but then people started to avoid me, someone slapped me with a restraining order (long story), and my boss threatened me with disciplinary action when I gave him my honest opinion about something. I realized that I needed to change and tone down my pool of negativity.
Today I'm still as negative as I ever was internally. I can't help the negative thoughts that permeate my brain. However, I make a concerted effort to focus on the positive stuff now as well. I compliment people frequently and try to stay upbeat in the company of others. My negativity still shines through at times, but now I have balance so that no one can call me a "debby downer" and leave the room when I enter. If I catch myself going down a negative road in front of others now, I usually try to tell a joke to break the tension.
I was re-reading some emails I sent during my "darker" period the other day and-whoa-I can't believe I was once that person. I still feel the same today as I did then, but wow was I harsh to others. I have been through many life struggles since and have grown up. I have become more complacent and less passionate. I'm still a realist, but I don't constantly feel the need to express my views to others. I've learned doing that doesn't do any good since I'm not a person in a position of power. I've found some semblance of innerpeace in keeping certain thoughts to myself.
IMO, much of the difference between what is considered negative and positive is cultural.
I was brought up to fully discuss an issue. It bugs me when an issue can't be discussed fully because someone dismisses the topic as "negative". Sometimes, if you want to solve a problem like how to handle a dying parent's hospice care, you have to be able to discuss it. Not everyone has the grace to lightly tread through a topic. I'm more offended if someone won't say what they think and then counteracts me behind my back. I'm not a fan of manipulation and lying. I don't trust people who will not tell me what they think particularly when they were directly asked.
I have closely held moral beliefs. It always amazes me that individuals who consider themselves to be upbeat and positive will tread all over those and laugh at anyone who doesn't think the way they do. While our culture has changed in some ways, discretion still goes a long way. I don't care to know what goes on behind closed doors at your house. Some of this "open-minded" over-sharing that seems to be prevalent in our country gets to be too much. I consider that person to be my negative person although that person probably considers themselves upbeat and positive.
Lastly, I think the term "negative" has been over used. It's become a buzzword that gets thrown out there when someone disagrees with another person. It makes the user sound like a whiny person.
Lastly, I think the term "negative" has been over used. It's become a buzzword that gets thrown out there when someone disagrees with another person. It makes the user sound like a whiny person.
That drives me nuts too. I notice that on forums one response is often "I'm sorry you are such a miserable person. If you are so unhappy maybe you should get professional help" or something else that dismisses a valid opinion as just someone who is negative and unhappy.
not every thought needs to be expressed--either positive or negative. I think when we're younger, we tend to not filter ourselves enough, because we don't have that sort of self-consciousness. "Out of the mouths of babes", so-to-speak.
As we get older, we (should) begin to realize that our spoken thoughts (can) have a real impact on others. To some, other peoples' opinions don't bother them (to me: I have to respect your opinion, before I allow it to have even the slightest effect on what I do, say, or think).
To others: our words can have a tremendous impact--both positive and negative.
As you get older, if you find yourself blurting out unconsidered thoughts, you're either immature or are somewhere on the Asperger's continuum. (I tend to lean heavily toward immature, as I feel Asperger's is WAY overdiagnosed, or it's true that we're all on the Asperger's continuum.
I've tried to live by the "he who thinketh by the inch and talketh by the yard, ought to be kickethed by the foot".
Not everybody wants--or needs--to hear everyone else's opinion.
Well, now THIS, to me, is really the issue. Very, well said...
What we feel is valid....we don't have to "stuff down" what we feel.
I think this needs to be said.
Feel negative or mad or unhappy about the situation...but...it does not need to be voiced.
And we don't have to be fakey positive either...just don't comment.
Smile and say, "Check please, gee, look at the time."
Watch, your friends will start picking up the check!!! They will see that you didn't do the
usual bitching rant about the place and bad service.
I say, practice for one week not expressing your displeasure...and see how your world changes.
Because it does. What we put out, actually does come back to us.
I mean, come on, you must know that!
Eventually, there will be a pleasant change internally, also....and don't we all really want to
to be and feel happy, kind, detached from troubles...be the guy that everyone likes to
be around...the guy that is easy going, flows and is light-hearted?
I think so.
Expressing grumpy old pessimistic thoughts is like being around a smelly
trash can...ya want to walk on the other side of the street.....near the flower garden.
It's all part of learning to be 'here'... so might as well get with the program and see how
much smoother life becomes.
It takes the same amount of energy to be miserable as it does to be happy!
The choice is yours!
Ha, I think it is less effort to flow and be light-hearted, I think.
But thank you ... You get it....it's about choices.
Have you heard the one about it takes so many x amt of muscles to smile...
But, it only takes one to slap somebody upside the head?
Bada-bing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This isn't some Pollyanna talk...it's pure logic.
