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If they're not signing me to a music deal or offering me a job. Why am I so concerned with what they do?
Most people talk to others to see what they can get out of someone. I guess this is why I personally don't like the question. It's on the same level as asking a salary to me.
That ^^^ is your opinion and certainly not always true.
By thinking this, you reveal a transactional view of relationships, that you only use people for what they can do for you. It's a cynical view of life that will limit your ability to form meaningful relationships with people.
This is revealing, and fully explains your disdain for the topic.
I share this feeling, but only at certain times and in certain crowds; it's not universal.
When in such a crowd, it's an opportunity to practice steering the conversation to another topic.
I'd like to meet a crowd of people where it doesn't come up. I can understand networking events where business cards are exchanged, but not in every single social setting. Sheesh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
That ^^^ is your opinion and certainly not always true.
By thinking this, you reveal a transactional view of relationships, that you only use people for what they can do for you. It's a cynical view of life that will limit your ability to form meaningful relationships with people.
Partly true Wmsn. I do think as relationships as transactional, but not on my part. I feel the people I meet in particular are this way. I don't really have any friends because I typically avoid conversations to avoid questions like this, in particular. When I converse with someone on a basic level and this comes up, I just lose interest.
My goal is to build real friendships, which is why I don't really like this question. Does it truly show genuine interest...?
I'd like to meet a crowd of people where it doesn't come up. I can understand networking events where business cards are exchanged, but not in every single social setting. Sheesh.
I'd like to meet a group of people where sports talk doesn't come up. Or pop culture. Not realistic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nj21
I do think as relationships as transactional, but not on my part.
Sorry, this made me chuckle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nj21
My goal is to build real friendships, which is why I don't really like this question. Does it truly show genuine interest...?
I think it *can* but regardless I can think of 100 other topics that can be just as banal as how you describe talking about work.
The bottom line for me is if I insist upon only certain kinds of conversational, social interactions in the outside world I'm destined to have few friends. (I'm not referring to 'inner circle' groups of people close to me.)
What is the fascination with this question? Is it to compare themselves to others? To "one-up" someone subtly? To be sure they're in your socio-economic class? Just to get the conversation flowing?
I'm just wondering because to me, it's somewhat annoying.
I'd prefer someone ask me about my hobbies, movies I enjoy, or places I have traveled.
How do you feel about this question? Maybe I'm just overreacting, but it's gotten to the point that I am asked that question so much that it is an instant turn-off and I either say starving artist or still finding out.
I personally am not defined by my employment because to me it's just a means to doing the things I actually enjoy.
I was even playing Words With Friends and my random, stranger opponent asked me this question.
So again, how do you feel about this question? If you ask, then what is your reason for doing so?
I am a curious person, and I do ask this quite often as for me it's a conversation starter and a window into real-life facet of the person I just met. I am truly interested to know what they spend a large amount of their time doing. I have worked in several different fields over the years, and so I can often find an area of common experience. If it is a field unknown to me, I enjoy getting "insider information" as to what it is like to work in a field I know nothing about.
What a person does for a living tells me something about that person: what they have to say about whether they like their job or not, and whether they speak about what they do with satisfaction and a certain amount of pride and enthusiasm, or with a sense of defeat and low self-esteem, tells me even more.
I couldn't care less how much a person earns. That isn't why I ask. I have known farmers who were millionaires and people with prestigious titles who couldn't afford to furnish their homes, so you can't really tell anyway. (Asking someone about their travels is actually a better way to find out how much they make, but it will probably turn off some people who can't afford to travel and think that you are asking that because you want to know if they are financially well off.)
If it is a turn off to you when people ask, IMO that would tend to indicate that you are not happy with what you are doing, so it is not other people's judgment about what you do that rankles, it is your own self judgment that is bothering you.
I usually don't ask, If someone asks me I just tell them.
Yep, that's me as well.
I don't understand the point of the question either. That's because I do not care. It's not something I would ask.
If I get to know someone I certainly don't want to talk about work, or maybe very limited. A new friendship is not going to centered on that.
I don't understand the point of the question either. That's because I do not care. It's not something I would ask.
If I get to know someone I certainly don't want to talk about work, or maybe very limited. A new friendship is not going to centered on that.
I'm curious about what you think about, say, people who talk about sports a lot, or people who talk about their kids a lot.
I'm curious about what you think about, say, people who talk about sports a lot, or people who talk about their kids a lot.
I would have nothing in common with the latter. I'm single (divorced) and never had children. Bad match for me if anyone's life is centered on that. Boring.
I would be polite, smile, nod my head, then change the subject. I don't have anything against people with children but it's just not for me.
As far as sports, I like some. Football talk would also bore me because I do not like it. I think it would be very inconsiderate to talk to me about a subject that the person knows I do not like or follow. Same with children. Not everyone is into them. If we can't find a middle ground then chances are we will never be close.
It depends on how early the topic comes up in conversation. Some people say it immediately. I find that rude, so I usually say "burglar." Other times I'll be honest, which sounds boring and they're not impressed. I never ask the question back, or ask it at all, which usually irks the impolite person, because they know that I don't care what they do.
Sounds like a pretty innocuous question to me.... Just sayin.
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