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i think it's a great question ,what I do for a living a the time , it opens the door for identification with some one.
ones profession marks their values to some degree .
If revealing the fact you work at Walmart bothers you, there are ways to be honest with out win specific.
Traffic supervisor for customer service. = greeter
Or if you are a CEO but want to keep a low profile you can say your a baby sitter.
Just before I responded to this thread I saw the part about Walmart... So what should I call myself, "product arrangement engineer" ?
Anyway I don't understand the problem with someone asking about what you do for a living, unless you're ashamed of what you do or you're not doing anything. If you ask a new person about their hobbies you will likely find a) he/she has none or b) they are so esoteric that you can't make much conversation about them. Join a group about your favorite hobby if that is kind of thing you like to talk about.
So what if someone wants to "use me" for their social status or career? Those types of people will soon find out they were barking up the wrong tree. At least my humble profession and home keep the users away.
It's not rude. As I said in another thread about the same topic, some people think it's "rude" to ask your surname or where you went to high school because those can also be used to size you up. If you're so ashamed of the answer just make up something.
I am personally far more annoyed, that when I mention what I do for a living, there are people. Certain people. And I have to stereotype them, but I have a theory. And they generally follow it up with either comments like:
"Oh good for you, you must be smart."
"Wow, how did you get that job, where did you go to college?"
Now my job is pretty normal, especially in my region (marketing at a tech company). But for some people it just isn't normal for a black person, so they just want to suss out if I am qualified or something.
I talk to a lot of people. I have never once told anyone "good for you!" About their job. And I can't really imagine a case where I would say something like that unless I don't know they were an astronaut. But reality is I would probably say, "how cool! Do you like the freeze dried food?"
And I can't really think of an occasion where I would ask someone how they got their job unless they told me I don't know, they got paid to eat at yummy restaurants all day, but I would have followed it with, "do you need a helper?"
But the pseudo-impressed but I am really being condescending attitude is not fun. And yes I am probably stereotyping, but the pattern is usually white people in service jobs who are 5-10 years older than me.
So yes, the question is pretty meaningless. The reaction to what you say is priceless.
I dont like personal questions from barbers when getting a haircut, sometimes they pry a little too far and it's almost like an interrogation, one time a barber asked me a question and he kept asking more and more questions to see if I was telling the truth, when it's really none of his business
I also dont like small talk at the check out line at grocery stores, in asian markets they keep talk very minimal and move the line quickly especially when people are waiting, in regualr grocery stores I notice some of the courtesy clerks / cashiers make a conversation with each customer and waste too much time talking about the weather or other wasteful conversation.
I am personally far more annoyed, that when I mention what I do for a living, there are people. Certain people. And I have to stereotype them, but I have a theory. And they generally follow it up with either comments like:
"Oh good for you, you must be smart."
"Wow, how did you get that job, where did you go to college?"
Now my job is pretty normal, especially in my region (marketing at a tech company). But for some people it just isn't normal for a black person, so they just want to suss out if I am qualified or something.
I talk to a lot of people. I have never once told anyone "good for you!" About their job. And I can't really imagine a case where I would say something like that unless I don't know they were an astronaut. But reality is I would probably say, "how cool! Do you like the freeze dried food?"
And I can't really think of an occasion where I would ask someone how they got their job unless they told me I don't know, they got paid to eat at yummy restaurants all day, but I would have followed it with, "do you need a helper?"
But the pseudo-impressed but I am really being condescending attitude is not fun. And yes I am probably stereotyping, but the pattern is usually white people in service jobs who are 5-10 years older than me.
So yes, the question is pretty meaningless. The reaction to what you say is priceless.
This is so true. Interesting perspective. One thing that stupid question reveals is the limitations of the person asking it.
It's because we are american, and we are "defined" by what we do for work. It is one of the top few innocuous questions to break the ice: where are you from, where do you live, what do you do.
Other cultures might ask about your passions, your family or something else.
But it is really just an American social custom.
Other cultures can be far more focused on stuff we find invasive - my friends who are from or have spent time in the Philippines say it's not unusual to be asked how much they make, in addition to what they do for a living. And EVERYONE wants to know if you have kids, and woe to those who say none when they are past a certain age. People want to know why or treat them like some great tragedy has taken place, and if you say it's by choice they think you're deranged. My one buddy who lived there for several years and is purposely childless took to telling the people he met that there had been a terrible accident when he was a boy and that he couldn't have children. We are constantly referencing "since the accident" in lugubrious tones whenever we are out drinking and bemoaning the fact that his wife is trapped in a celibate marriage, LOL.
Personally, I'll take polite queries about my occupation over that craziness any day.
So after spending 15 minutes discussing movies, the weather, sports, and traveling, you would not want to know that they were, oh, say, the mayor or a firefighter or a music producer??
Conversation involves both people. It's not just about you.
Anyway I don't understand the problem with someone asking about what you do for a living, unless you're ashamed of what you do or you're not doing anything....
A. What business is it of some stranger what I do to put food on the table and pay the rent? Maybe I have a fabulous job, but I value my privacy - and it has nothing to do with "shame". Maybe I don't want to give judgmental people fodder for their judgement.
B. As far as conversation starters, there are hundreds of topics available to start a conversation that don't involve interrogating someone as to their occupation (if they have one).
C. If someone you just met asked you what you did all day yesterday, and the day before - would that seem intrusive? Maybe they're just trying to start a convo....see if there's something in common...what's the big deal? "What's your address, maybe I have friends who live near you?" "Do you have a college degree? 'cuz I do - maybe we went to the same school!!"
I tell them I sell marijuana and produce soft-core pornography.
Seriously. That's what I tell them. PTA meetings. Church socials. It doesn't matter. I really say that. Because if you're so socially inept and so limited in your perspective that that's one of your first questions to me, I really think decent conversation is wasted on you.
I mean, hey, a couple of hours in, it's fair game. But the first thirty minutes? Go away.
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Heeeyy....
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