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People may be asking just because it's a conversation starter. I don't ask people like I used to, because so many people are "in transition" these days.
I may be very general and not say exactly what I do or where I work. I too, find it a bit personal, especially if I just met someone however I understand the general interest in other people and assume that it where it is really coming from.
Most people don't mean any harm.
I agree with that.
But it can make a person feel worse about their situation if they are going through a down time with a sub-standard job or unemployment. I feel why take a chance like that to embarrass someone.
What is the fascination with this question? Is it to compare themselves to others? To "one-up" someone subtly? To be sure they're in your socio-economic class? Just to get the conversation flowing?
I'm just wondering because to me, it's somewhat annoying.
I'd prefer someone ask me about my hobbies, movies I enjoy, or places I have traveled.
How do you feel about this question? Maybe I'm just overreacting, but it's gotten to the point that I am asked that question so much that it is an instant turn-off and I either say starving artist or still finding out.
I personally am not defined by my employment because to me it's just a means to doing the things I actually enjoy.
I was even playing Words With Friends and my random, stranger opponent asked me this question.
So again, how do you feel about this question? If you ask, then what is your reason for doing so?
Not a big deal to me. I think it's just an ice-breaker so people have something to talk about:
'Oh, you're a professional lion-tamer? Me, too! What a coincidence!'
OP You sound to me like you are a bit defensive about this question. This leads me to think that either you don't currently have a job or that you hate or are not proud of what you do. This is a personal issue of yours that you need to ind a way to come to terms with.
Asking people what they do for a living is pretty normal and a part of most conversations when people first get to know each other. What a person does can often give you a lot of information about who they are. Plus sometimes you meet somone who does something really interesting that you would love to lear more about.
ITA with what you said. People should take pride in what they do...no matter what they do. They can always add another statement about what they are educated to do if they so choose.
I really hate that question too b/c what I do is not who I am. Ask about hobbies, interests, etc instead. I've begun answering in a joking manner "as little as possible" to this inane question. I think people ask it b/c it seems like a safe thing to ask and b/c everyone else seems to ask it.
Does it occur to any of the posters who hate this question to just throw in the fact that their job isn't their passion and say what their passion is?
I have no problem with the question, but I hate my career. A lot. I usually say something like "oh, I'm a XX at XX, but really, I'm dreaming of the day I can quit and open my own jewelry studio." It's not that hard and gives the asker information about my "real" personality and interests.
People like that answer and their reaction to it will tell you a lot about them.
Damn, I just put my line on the Internet. Seriously though OP, go for it.
Definitely using this line! Can't wait to see reactions. Thank you for sharing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45
I suppose when asked, "What do you do?", one could answer with, "When?"
That's a good one as well. It's an open-ended question that could lead down many paths.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca
I'd seriously like to know what questions you think are appropriate when you don't know anything about someone.
I often times ask them about the weather that day. Cliche but it gets the conversation going as well. It leads to us discussing the city and it's temperaments. Chicago is very temperamental. Just a couple of weeks ago the weather was in the 60s. It leads to other things and activities we enjoy partaking in during the summer.
But it can make a person feel worse about their situation if they are going through a down time with a sub-standard job or unemployment. I feel why take a chance like that to embarrass someone.
It's a poor conversation starter, IMO.
This. I mean, we do live in a time where hard-working and conscientious people are facing real employment struggles through no fault of their own: Unemployment, underemployment, trapped in a job because they can't find a better one. So by asking the question, you are essentially giving them an unwelcome reminder of their professional struggles.
I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a no-win situation. But it is simply not the surefire conversation starter that some people seem to think it is.
If they're not signing me to a music deal or offering me a job. Why am I so concerned with what they do?
Most people talk to others to see what they can get out of someone. I guess this is why I personally don't like the question. It's on the same level as asking a salary to me.
You do seem rather defensive about the subject, but I'm not being judgmental here; just observant.
If it makes you that uncomfortable (and I'll admit, there were times in my past when it did the same to me), just make something up. You indicate that you have hobbies that you consider more important. If you can, turn that into a "Job" or "career". Ex. - "I'm a mural painter", "I handle show dogs in the ring", "I teach classes on photography". Teaching classes (on any subject at all) is a respectable way to spend your days, and nothing you'd need to be defensive about. If it truly is a hobby that you enjoy, turning this into a "job" or a "business" should be something that you'd enjoy talking about.
When people ask me this, I tell them
"I drive my husband crazy."
They usually change the subject after that.
You must be the wife of the man I met at a meetup who, when I asked him what he did (note: this was a meetup for professionals working in a certain field, so it was clearly appropriate), said,
"I put up with my wife."
Yeah, can't say I spent a lot of time talking to him that night!
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Q: What Do You Do for a Living?
