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That's it. Yes they might get another teacher but they struggle to find teachers because often the parents aren't appreciative and they expect a lot for volunteering. We have to take classes, attend meetings and so much more for free.
Now you have a parent who is willing to volunteer her time, and you're still complaining. You can't have it both ways.
No requirement to be a teacher or even have a degree. The diocese pays for us to attend school, which can be a college, a class through the diocese, even something online. I happen to take classes for certification. This woman was taking classes outside of being a volunteer. We have to get these credits though, it's a requirement. Many people don't make the requirements. Everyone is required and not sure what happens if you don't make the requirements.
If the mom is taking classes, she isn't hovering over her child all the time. It sounds like volunteering will be a good learning experience for her.
You first and read the original post before you tell me to grow up.
If you are good at delegating, you shouldn't worry about the mom in the classroom. Let her know you are grateful for her help.
The church was wrong for just springing this on you. That said, you are acting like this is a tenure track faculty position instead of what it actually is, which is a volunteer church position. This is about your sense of self worth and self esteem, which all appear to be wrapped up in the church; it has nothing to do with the children or religious formation. Perhaps they are looking to change direction. There is more internal drama in churches than there is on TV soap operas.
My wife and I crossed paths with the resident Queen of a particular volunteer activity one time. One time. We had nothing more to do with that activity and let the queen be the queen by herself, which is what she wanted.
Last edited by joe from dayton; 09-01-2014 at 09:06 PM..
Obviously you didn't read my post (typical on this site). I was only rude to her after she started throwing her weight around. Also, you didn't read that in fact I have a great relationship with the director and I am one of her favorites, not just at church. Third you didn't read that it has nothing to do with wanting me gone, they don't. Fourth, you obviously didn't read where the parents are ALWAYS complimenting me. I get presents on Christmas and the last day of class, and many thank me for what I do. Also, you missed where I stated this issue happened before to another teacher where a mom refused to allow her kid in a class without her there.
Oh I read through your posts.
BTW, you don't sound very Christian....LOL.
But I find many people are always going around telling everyone what a good Christian they are as phony as they come.
You come off as childish and very immature.
"I was only rude to her after she started throwing her weight around"...
Right there shows that you don't know how to handle situations.
Reading this makes me so happy with how we do things at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. No one owns a calling or position. No one owns a job. We are called to serve for a time in differant callings. What that means is that one year you may be a teacher of a specific age group and another year you might have a position as a song leader. During my adult life I have served as a Primary teacher, which is our version of the childrens classes. I taught mostly my own kids classes. I was a Bot Scout Leader, I served as the President of the Elders Quorum, as the President of the Young Mens organization, which is an adult leadership position advising The youth leaders that are young men between the ages of 12 and 18. One year I served as the Activities committee chairperson, planning fun activities for our congregation.
I guess I thought when we are serving others it does not matter how we do it, if we are offered help, if a parent wants to help, or how ever the service happens. It is not our work but the work of our Savior.
Find another volunteer position outside the church and with any luck you too can "oust" someone from their post.
Kidding aside, it's time to leave. You've let a volunteer position define you. YOU need IT more than IT needs YOU and that can't end well. There are other classes with other kids and other things you can be appreciated for. Since you've made it clear that you can't/won't "co-teach" you have no choice because the alternative isn't going to be pretty and you will come out looking very bad.
I know how you feel, I've been in similar positions myself, but I've always tried to act like I'm above getting my feelings hurt, even when they are.
I disagree with almost everyone, and agree with the original poster. The problem is that the mom wants to be there for her child. That will be a disaster. That's the real problem. The OP is having trouble explaining it. Making it sound like jealousy for the position, when it's actually an entirely different problem. It sounds like a defense of the territory, when it's actually a defense of making things work well. And it's perfectly normal for people who invest a good part of their lives making things work well to feel threatened when someone comes along with the intent of changing things. The person who invests so much into making things work well should be the first person consulted about changing anything. The person who wants to make the changes should convince the original person that the changes would be good, and not go over their head to put pressure on them.
I'm always open to new ideas, I am not open to someone invading my space.
Yeah, here's the thing.....it's not your space.
I really wonder why you posted the original question to begin with. You didn't want honest answers. You wanted validation and pats on the back about how wonderful and long-suffering you are.
You asked if you were over-reacting. You only wanted to hear "No, of course not. You're the favourite. You're the only one who knows what she is doing. You were right to be rude at the meetings. You were right in not wanting to share the position. This woman has no business trying new ideas or a new way of doing things. Your way is best. Clearly, you should be in charge. Of course you should be the solo act. Who do these people think they are?"
Like I said....grow up. If you didn't want to hear the truth, you shouldn't have posted to begin with.
Last edited by weltschmerz; 09-02-2014 at 03:18 AM..
I've taken some pretty large responsibilities with non-profit organizations I feel are worthwhile. (Just for one example, I produced, wrote, and hosted a program on a public radio station for several years for no pay.) I've found the management of these groups to have one thing in common. At some point they start to take volunteers for granted.
They look toward the newer, shinier thing and value it above your contribution, even if that's unwarranted. I don't have any compunction about moving on when that happens. They'll survive and you'll be happier being the newer, shinier thing somewhere else. I suspect there are other places in your community where your experience could be put to use.
I feel for you being undervalued after your enthusiastic participation, but think about the little girl who will probably never stop being shy if her mother doesn't stop micromanaging her life.
I disagree with almost everyone, and agree with the original poster. The problem is that the mom wants to be there for her child. That will be a disaster. That's the real problem.
No, it's not.
Parents volunteer in their own kids' classrooms all the time. If they didn't or couldn't, churches would have almost ZERO volunteers.
The OP doesn't actually know this mom's motivations. She ASSUMES much.
Churches are filled with people looking for the power and prestige they aren't able to achieve in the outside world. It's the big fish in the little pond syndrome. Also a reason why so many people shy away from volunteering in their church......afraid of stepping on the toes of the ones who "own" certain jobs.
If the director has told the mother she is a "co-pilot" of the class, and told the OP the mother is an assistant, the director is at fault here. Both parties need to know exactly what function the new volunteer is to perform. Something tells me that the OP will only be satisfied if the volunteer is classified as an assistant (only worthy to take the kids to the bathroom) and leave the teaching to her, and only her. There's not enough room in that little pond for too many big fish.
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