Family wants me to get a job and I don't want to (personality, jealous)

[MckinneyOwnr]

Originally Posted by Tarzanman

OP, There is nothing wrong with not working. I don't think its the lack of a job that your family is upset about (though I might be mistaken, since I don't know you or them).

I would be willing to bet that is 100% lack of direction. As some other folks have pointed out, even if you do not have to work to earn a living (must be nice!), it is important to involve yourself with some kind of project or endeavor which will fortify you has a person.

No, you don't need any help economically, but you still need spiritual, intellectual, and social stimuli. We all do.

It can be tough to motivate oneself in your position. Are you sick of going to school? You could always give a school for the arts a try... you would meet some pretty interesting people and maybe even develop a lifelong talent.

There is a lot that you can do with your time, but you need to instill enough discipline to use it wisely even while you are young.

Culinary school? Flight school? Drama school? Dance school? Language schools? All of the above?

Just imagine the kinds of conversations and friends you might have 10 years from now as a pilot/musician/chef /actor?

Good post. I know if money was no object for me, I'd be learning to do things that I've always wanted to do but never had the time for, like learning to play piano, or learn another language, etc. Some of my current "hobbies" would probably evolve into something more serious, like restoring cars and things.

At any rate, I'd be doing something with my time. Then again... I'm nearly 40. I realize how fast time goes by now. Perhaps the OP, in her mid 20's, simply hasn't grasped that yet, and that's why she doesn't have any direction or want one.

[mommabear2]

OP - What are you doing for health insurance?

Just an FYI - my best friend's dad was wealthy (net worth of 10 million dollars), he fell, broke his back (quadriplegic) and blew through all of it in health care cost (took about 10 years). He was a former banker turned entrepreneur and the man was really good with money, but he was self insured. One bad illness (try spending a week in a hospital) and bam! $250K is gone just like that.

If you don't have a job just make sure you have health insurance at the very least.

I echo what other's have mentioned. Just have a direction, do some good in this world. No one wants to see their family members wandering aimlessly even if they're rich.

Oh, and if you are truly wealthy, you would know that it's often necessary to have a business of some sort to offset the cost of taxes that comes along with wealth. Investments in the form of real estate don't do much for the truly wealthy (ask a tax lawyer). Your tax lawyer would more than likely to tell you to start a business or you'll see your resources flittered away to Uncle Sam and it doesn't matter how much you have... when you see huge chunks taken you'll change your tune.

[crazyme4878]

Has anyone in these 25 pages of telling the OP to get a job pointed out that the 18-25 year old population is the most unemployed group in the U.S? As in, no one is hiring them? Yet the OP is suppose to magically walk out and find a job...

And starting a small business, unless there is no start up cost (like an Etsy store or something) is a horrible idea. Unless the OP is looking for a venture to blow through his/her money really quickly.

Volunteering is a great idea IMHO. You pick a cause you believe in. You work the hours you want to. All the while you are meeting contacts and building experience if you ever wish (or need) to jump full time into the workforce.

This is all probably been said (I hope), but I couldn't take any more of the "you have to work" drivel to read through all the pages. As to your original question, I don't think there is anything you can do to shut grandma up unless you got a job (and if she hasn't let up yet, I doubt even getting a job would be good enough for her--she would still find something about it to complain about). Not visiting, and paying for your parents to visit you would be a good start. Or ignoring her completely when you are home, which sounds harsh for a grandma, but she is an adult and should know how to act like one. I doubt this is a new trait for her.

[mdlee3_46041]

You can gain life experiences by traveling if you do it right. If you travel to party in new places, then forget the life experience.

However, you also gain life experience by working. You really should do something with your life. Investments, while they may seem good at the time you make them, can turn bad and you can lose a good chunk of your money if that happens. Also, if you have your own kids eventually, that's expensive also. Plus, wouldn't you like to be able to tell your kids about the benefits of hard work or would you prefer them take things for granted?

[ShellNic]

I've stopped reading some of your posts...you people are freaking nuts. Yes, nuts. Someone talked about how it wasn't HER MONEY...um, yes it is. She did inherit it, true, but it is hers. People have a strange idea about how she should feel and what she should do when they've never been in her position.

Notice the people who have understood her have also been there. For those of us who haven't been there, we can see she's still young...when some of you oldies (me included) were 25, SOME of you didn't have a care in the world. I will say this though...everyone is different in their learning curve.

She likely will find something she's passionate about, whether it be through her travels or while helping her friends. She will figure that out as it comes. She does sound like a solid young individual...for those of you who say she's a spoiled brat, then I say your reading comprehension is terrible.

I still don't really know what my purpose is...and I'm 47 years old. Seriously, does working a full time job give me value? What if I don't volunteer? Am I useless? I couldn't have kids so some people think I'm missing out on "life's greatest gifts". You really want to know what my purpose is? To get up each morning...to breathe in and breathe out...to love my family...THAT'S FREAKING IT! Some of you think that because she hasn't figured out yet what she's interested in doing, that she, too, is useless.

I honestly don't understand people like you other than to say you're a bunch of control freaks who have to have everything in a tidy little box. Life isn't tidy...some of us figure it out later, some sooner, some never. Who are we to judge? Honestly...you can be embarrassed for her, you can say you're a deep pool, you can say you aspire to higher ground...but really, it's all about perspective...and some of you, as much as you'd like to think you have some, have shown that you really are too rigid to appreciate it.

[HedgeYourInvestments]

Originally Posted by allieoxenfree

I don't work at all and this upsets my family though more so my grandmother. I'm 25 and have never had a job (besides babysitting a few times) though I did graduate from college. During the first half of my junior year my grandpa passed away and I got an inheritance. After graduating, I chose not to apply for jobs. Instead, I travelled and decided to hold off working. Perfect decision for me, but my family doesn't think so.

My dad is upset I don't work but he's more passive aggressive about it. My mom is nicer about it and doesn't care too much but she still worries me and mentions me picking up a job here and there. My grandma (on my dad's side) has been awful to me about it. She's an opinionated, very in-your-face, blunt person and she thinks I'm lazy and constantly tells me that I need to be working and that I need to have a job.

For the past two years I have been traveling and not home much. I went to Europe and Australia and spent some time there so I haven't had to be around the criticism a lot, but when I have come home for holidays I get cornered and my grandma has "blown up" and brought up the laziness and job thing. It seems like I'm not even allowed to chime in or have an opinion on anything because I don't work. She has said that I don't understand how the real world is. We get along off and on but this subject always comes up.

I don't consider myself lazy. I don't work but my life is active. I travel, I cook and I enjoy camping and things like that. I also love gardening and shopping. I save my money but I also invest. True, I was lazy this summer. I now have a house in North Carolina and I fixed it up, furnished it and slept late every day. My favorite part of the afternoon was enjoying sweet tea on my porch and baking apple pies So I guess you can say I was semi-lazy, but still productive. To be honest I feel like I am just enjoying my life and doing things I want to do.

I love my family and want to visit more but I am tired of my grandma's negativity and opinions. I want a way to tell her to stop and to mind her own business but I don't want to disrespect her either. I am happy with my life and I wish she could see that but I don't know how. Is there any way I can do that? She's obsessed with people working.

Well, you should work. Do something for someone other than yourself at least. Volunteer.

Basically, you're being incredibly selfish and just wasting the money your grandfather earned. You can enjoy your riches, but you should also not just waste your youth living for an incredibly selfish existence.

I grew up with money and never had the need to work as a kid, but the moment I was legally able to get a real job, I did so on my own and have not stopped working since.

Plus, what happens if inflation suddenly hit and your nest egg became worthless? You'd have no skills, experience or any kind of value to offer anyone.

[Lilac110]

Originally Posted by ShellNic

I've stopped reading some of your posts...you people are freaking nuts. Yes, nuts. Someone talked about how it wasn't HER MONEY...um, yes it is. She did inherit it, true, but it is hers. People have a strange idea about how she should feel and what she should do when they've never been in her position.

Notice the people who have understood her have also been there. For those of us who haven't been there, we can see she's still young...when some of you oldies (me included) were 25, SOME of you didn't have a care in the world. I will say this though...everyone is different in their learning curve.

She likely will find something she's passionate about, whether it be through her travels or while helping her friends. She will figure that out as it comes. She does sound like a solid young individual...for those of you who say she's a spoiled brat, then I say your reading comprehension is terrible.

I still don't really know what my purpose is...and I'm 47 years old. Seriously, does working a full time job give me value? What if I don't volunteer? Am I useless? I couldn't have kids so some people think I'm missing out on "life's greatest gifts". You really want to know what my purpose is? To get up each morning...to breathe in and breathe out...to love my family...THAT'S FREAKING IT! Some of you think that because she hasn't figured out yet what she's interested in doing, that she, too, is useless.

I honestly don't understand people like you other than to say you're a bunch of control freaks who have to have everything in a tidy little box. Life isn't tidy...some of us figure it out later, some sooner, some never. Who are we to judge? Honestly...you can be embarrassed for her, you can say you're a deep pool, you can say you aspire to higher ground...but really, it's all about perspective...and some of you, as much as you'd like to think you have some, have shown that you really are too rigid to appreciate it.

Oofta, Shell. This is really sticking in your craw, eh? This sounds like the aftermath of an existentialist crisis.

I don't think she should take a job from someone who really needs it. My main point is that the happiest people I know live for something other than their own pleasure and two square feet of existence. They find meaning and give themselves purpose in trying to help others. I'm not Catholic--I'm an atheist--but I think there is something to be said for Corporal Works of Mercy. She's in a great position to help a lot of people, and I hope she finds it in her heart to do so with the good fortune she has been lucky enough to receive.

[Lilac110]

Originally Posted by SPECFRCE

You're not the first person to inherit lump sums of monies. Many of our wealthiest families live in such a realm to include their children. I have personally submitted my life to the Marine Corps Street college oppose to sitting about and traveling. However, I do not see any wrong in your actions as this has been the way of the Fortune for centuries.

I hope you find something that fancies your fanny. Possibly open a shop of sorts or volunteer. Outside the Marine Corps I would not want to work for anyone-truthfully.

I dated someone like you. He's no longer a Marine, but he went into the Marines as a way of doing something that he felt would be productive and worthwhile. This guy grew up next to the Bush Srs., when Bush Sr. was in the CIA. His father is some kind of neuro or brain surgeon, his mother from a wealthy South American family, both sides old money. Real Middleton, Virginia fox hunt stuff. His brother is a hot-shot attorney, but this guy wanted something different. He saw the world, saw some of the less luxurious places in it, and when he got out of the Corps, he drove his jeep from the tip of South America up on through. He takes the elderly to their doctor's appointments on his days off, and digs them out when it snows. Last I heard he was working for a non-profit that benefits people with cognitive disabilities ("mentally retarded," in the old vernacular), although that was several years ago and we fell out of touch.

Too bad he had some real issues going on in the romantic department, but he's a good friend to all who would have him as one.

[AnthonyJ34]

Originally Posted by Golden_Monkey

Well, there is one reason you might want to work. Notice that I said "might want to" instead of "need" to. It's only if it's important to you. It's so that you can relate to people who do work, which is most people. This isn't such a big deal in one's 20s, but it becomes one later on.

I have a friend in the same position. I met him almost exactly 20 years ago. He was living with his father, and since his father never kicked him out, he decided not to work most of the time. He didn't need to, after all. So he spent all of his 20s sitting on the couch playing video games and watching TV. Then he was in his 30s, and he spent all of those sitting on the couch playing video games and watching TV. When his father died, he left him a piece of real estate worth millions, so now that he's in his 40s, he'll never have to work, which is fortunate for him, because he can't. Who would hire a middle-aged man with a 20 year gap in his work history and no degree? The older we got, the less we had to discuss, though. We can't really discuss work, because it's something we don't have in common. I can't talk about things like the number of times I've relocated for jobs, or trying to put away money, or being a contract worker with no benefits, or wanting to be able to afford something, because those are all things that he's never had to do. It is like trying to be friends with a teenager. I get the idea that he's really envious of people with careers, though, even if their career isn't that great. I mean, everyone else his age is mid-career at this point, and that's what people tend to talk about, but he's never had one. So all he can contribute to the conversation is talking about his house, TV shows, or video games. Like I said, it's like talking to a middle-aged teenager. If you've ever seen the movie "Stepbrothers," he ended up a real-life version of the John C Reilly/Will Farrell characters.

Your friend is part of the lucky few who do not have to work for a living, yet you penalize him for that, comparing him to a fictional movie character? Is work the only commonality that you could have with this guy? Comparing him to most other people who work is wrong; he is not like other people. He doesn't have to worry about careers or the fact that most people his age are mid-career. And maybe he'd still be a lazy, unmotivated video game player even with a career; maybe that's just who he is.

[mdlee3_46041]

Originally Posted by ShellNic

I've stopped reading some of your posts...you people are freaking nuts. Yes, nuts. Someone talked about how it wasn't HER MONEY...um, yes it is. She did inherit it, true, but it is hers. People have a strange idea about how she should feel and what she should do when they've never been in her position.

Notice the people who have understood her have also been there. For those of us who haven't been there, we can see she's still young...when some of you oldies (me included) were 25, SOME of you didn't have a care in the world. I will say this though...everyone is different in their learning curve.

She likely will find something she's passionate about, whether it be through her travels or while helping her friends. She will figure that out as it comes. She does sound like a solid young individual...for those of you who say she's a spoiled brat, then I say your reading comprehension is terrible.

I still don't really know what my purpose is...and I'm 47 years old. Seriously, does working a full time job give me value? What if I don't volunteer? Am I useless? I couldn't have kids so some people think I'm missing out on "life's greatest gifts". You really want to know what my purpose is? To get up each morning...to breathe in and breathe out...to love my family...THAT'S FREAKING IT! Some of you think that because she hasn't figured out yet what she's interested in doing, that she, too, is useless.

I honestly don't understand people like you other than to say you're a bunch of control freaks who have to have everything in a tidy little box. Life isn't tidy...some of us figure it out later, some sooner, some never. Who are we to judge? Honestly...you can be embarrassed for her, you can say you're a deep pool, you can say you aspire to higher ground...but really, it's all about perspective...and some of you, as much as you'd like to think you have some, have shown that you really are too rigid to appreciate it.

The OP posted her "problem" on here, a public forum so we are entitled to post our opinions. Also, the OP only said it was enough money to last a long, long, long time, but didn't say how much, unless I missed something. Obviously we don't need to know the exact amount, but a million dollars isn't what it used to be. Yes, we'd all still take a million dollars, but it's still not as much as it used to be. Also, financial advisor or not, the term long, long, long time doesn't really mean anything. A lot of lottery winners thought they'd be good for a long, long, long time also and many of them are now broke. Also, remember that a financial advisor can't actually stop a person from spending their money. He or she can advise the person against it, but can't actually prevent the person from doing so.

Now, I wouldn't say that the OP is a spoiled brat, but the potential is there. I guarantee though that if she has kids, they will be spoiled brats. I don't mean just the type that can get their parents to buy them whatever they want. I mean the type that goes through life thinking that they're too good for work. The type that, if the pump their own gas, will look down on the gas station clerk and think that they are so much better than him.

People that just look at the topic title without coming in to read it will think this is either a spoiled brat or a leech living off of society. After all, the topic is titled, "Family wants me to get a job and I don't want to."

I'd love to either win or inherit a bunch of money, but I'm the type that I wouldn't stop working either. I wouldn't keep working full time because honestly I hate my current job, but I'd find some part time job that I could enjoy, but could still do other things I enjoy, such as travel. Nobody is saying that the OP should find a career that she can retire from in 40 years, just that she should find something to have a little extra money just in case because despite what her financial advisor told her, it could all be gone in a year, 5, years, 10 years, and then she'd have nothing and not even have any work skills to offer an employer.