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I have thought that "talking black" or "ebonics" is a real handicap for people. If you want a good job and be successful in life you should learn how to communicate in our society. It's as if some blacks are working very hard to cripple their own potential. I understand there is discrimination in this country against blacks but people that CHOOSE to "speak black" are not helping themselves in that regard.
Black people are often times critcized as being 'ghetto', but if you are black and you speak proper, people make fun of you by calling you an oreo and saying that you want to be white. Most blacks really don't like you and most whites will hang out with you but they will constantly make sarcastic comments about how you are trying to be white.You really can't win. I am not comfortable around either race because of stuff like this.
I find this hard to believe. Who is calling you an Oreo? Certainly not Whites.
But yes, of the two black people who I regularly hand out with, play cards with, go out to eat with, see movies with....both are educated, speak "properly", and enunciate their words. They're fantastic.
And yes, on the other end of the spectrum why would I want to spend time with those who choose to shun education, who think being intelligent, holding down a job, or staying out of prison is somehow "acting white"
You seem to have a lot going for you. Why fight against it? Sounds like you are more accepted in the White community than you are among 'ghetto' (as you say) blacks who want to shun you for being even just a little bit successful.
I'm sorry that you choose to not like the very people who are most accepting of you.
How old are you dear one? This mentality sounds like it's coming from the 20 something immature crowd. I've had a lot of gay male friends as well and I know how self absorbed they can be at a young age. If you're in that age group you may have a bumpy road ahead of you, but know that with age comes wisdom and it gets better. I met one of my most precious friends in college. She's black and I'm white. She is highly educated and speaks with an intelligent mind and tongue. Those qualities are respected in the work place and among educated, successful people. Had she been "ghetto" we would not have been friends, nor would she be where she is in life. Her SO is a successful business man and they have a nice life. You have to decide what's more important to you dear one. Fitting in with ignorant people who may not amount to much, or going for that brass ring. Go for the gold and elevate yourself above that ignorance. Your life will be much better in your 40's if you do.
Black people are often times critcized as being 'ghetto', but if you are black and you speak proper, people make fun of you by calling you an oreo and saying that you want to be white. Most blacks really don't like you and most whites will hang out with you but they will constantly make sarcastic comments about how you are trying to be white.You really can't win. I am not comfortable around either race because of stuff like this.
This is one reason why I dislike 90% of people. People always expect you to fit every black stereotype or they try to say you really aren't "black".
I have a friend who always gives me a hard time about a lot of stupid stuff, like going to too many festivals, dating the wrong people, or because I don't do random hookups (he admits that he has trouble controlling himself and he can't help but sleep around even though he is in a relationship. he is jealous of me). But the thing he gives me the hardest time about is how he claims that I act white.
Over the years (we just started talking again in december 2014 after having a fall out a few years prior where we stopped speaking) he will always make some kind of random and somewhat sarcastic comment about me acting white. I have talked about how it bothers me when people say stuff like that. There are a few mutual friends of ours who are black and speak proper and he always comments on how they act white because they speak proper. Then last week when we were on the phone he said, "I usually can tell if I am talking to a black person on the phone by the way they sound, except if I am talking to you." So basically the last part of that statement was him taking a shot at me by saying I sound white. He has said other stuff like "you sound like a country white boy" or "that white dude is blacker than you and Greg combined" (greg is a mutual black friend of ours). Plus my friend makes racist generalizations about blacks in front of me. The last time he came to visit me, he wanted to go to waffle house but he told me "I won't go in the waffle house by where you live because too many black people go in there and black people are loud and I don't wanna get shot" ( i live in a nice, mostly black area).
He also is in a relationship with a black guy and only dates black guys (even though he is attracted to white guys as well). Most of the black guys he dates act ghetto so he expects every black guy to be like that. He grew up and still lives in a really small town in south alabama, so I try to cut him some slack because I know people in small southern towns tend to be closed-minded.
I am only attracted to whites, but I am becoming really leery of dating them. Most white people I have dated have said racist comments to me and put me down because I supposedly act white. I am tired of everybody associating being black with being ghetto. We are not all the same.
I am white. My closest friend is a middle aged black woman. She speaks proper English, has a college degree and a good job. She has both white and black friends.
I'd say the problem is not your manner of speech, but your friends. Anyone who wants you to "dumb down" to be cool does not have your best interest at heart. Speaking bad grammar will hold you back in the work place and categorize you as uneducated. That is true no matter what your race or ethnicity.
So you have to decide what path you want your life to take. Maybe you can be a good example to your friends who don't speak well. If not, maybe you need new friends.
The OP's post was mostly about a white friend telling him he sounds too white. But so many of the responses are worded as if he's talking a bout BLACK people calling him too white. Am I reading it wrong? Weird.
Anyway OP, have you told this guy to knock it off? Let him know and give him a chance to step up to the plate. He might surprise you. I would open my mouth when other people say stuff like that to you as well. Sometimes people don't realize how silly they sound until you tell them.
As far as black people, I've found that kind of thing happens most often not so much when someone speaks proper English, but because they don't "code switch" - i.e. loosen up their language and demeanor when there are no white people around. It also happens if you are black and seem to be into music and culture deemed "white", like pop or rock music. Not to say those arent stupid reasons LOL, but there are black people who are accomplished, educated and speak well who don't have those issues and that's usually why.
In any case there are plenty of people white and black who will have no problem with you just be way you are even if you have to look a little harder for them. But don't give up! Just keep looking until you find the right circle of friends.
Black people are often times critcized as being 'ghetto', but if you are black and you speak proper, people make fun of you by calling you an oreo and saying that you want to be white. Most blacks really don't like you and most whites will hang out with you but they will constantly make sarcastic comments about how you are trying to be white.You really can't win. I am not comfortable around either race because of stuff like this.
This is one reason why I dislike 90% of people. People always expect you to fit every black stereotype or they try to say you really aren't "black".
I have a friend who always gives me a hard time about a lot of stupid stuff, like going to too many festivals, dating the wrong people, or because I don't do random hookups (he admits that he has trouble controlling himself and he can't help but sleep around even though he is in a relationship. he is jealous of me). But the thing he gives me the hardest time about is how he claims that I act white.
Over the years (we just started talking again in december 2014 after having a fall out a few years prior where we stopped speaking) he will always make some kind of random and somewhat sarcastic comment about me acting white. I have talked about how it bothers me when people say stuff like that. There are a few mutual friends of ours who are black and speak proper and he always comments on how they act white because they speak proper. Then last week when we were on the phone he said, "I usually can tell if I am talking to a black person on the phone by the way they sound, except if I am talking to you." So basically the last part of that statement was him taking a shot at me by saying I sound white. He has said other stuff like "you sound like a country white boy" or "that white dude is blacker than you and Greg combined" (greg is a mutual black friend of ours). Plus my friend makes racist generalizations about blacks in front of me. The last time he came to visit me, he wanted to go to waffle house but he told me "I won't go in the waffle house by where you live because too many black people go in there and black people are loud and I don't wanna get shot" ( i live in a nice, mostly black area).
He also is in a relationship with a black guy and only dates black guys (even though he is attracted to white guys as well). Most of the black guys he dates act ghetto so he expects every black guy to be like that. He grew up and still lives in a really small town in south alabama, so I try to cut him some slack because I know people in small southern towns tend to be closed-minded.
I am only attracted to whites, but I am becoming really leery of dating them. Most white people I have dated have said racist comments to me and put me down because I supposedly act white. I am tired of everybody associating being black with being ghetto. We are not all the same.
So the important question is why you choose bad people as friends. Friends should reflect your values and philosophy. Yet you picked this idiot who cheats on his lover, expresses stupid and irrational sentiments, and takes shots at you for your virtues.
The question is why you would pick this lowlife to be your friend. Cheater, liar, irrational. If you pick him, then he reflects your values on some level, that is reality. So figure out if YOU have a problem. Your choice in friends says yes.
Black people are often times critcized as being 'ghetto', but if you are black and you speak proper, people make fun of you by calling you an oreo and saying that you want to be white. Most blacks really don't like you and most whites will hang out with you but they will constantly make sarcastic comments about how you are trying to be white.You really can't win. I am not comfortable around either race because of stuff like this.
.
You now have a "green" accent. I don't know how old you are, where you live, or what economic level you are in right now, but "ghetto" is poverty, and if you aspire to a better economic level than poverty, you need to keep speaking with a "green" accent.
Right now, even the white people you're around don't expect a black person to aspire to anything better than poverty. Get away from them, because they don't actually aspire (at least not yet) to a higher lifestyle themselves.
People--black or white--who are moving up will want to be around others with "green" accents, and won't comment that there is anything wrong or unusual about a "green" accent no matter who speaks with it. They expect people in their group to have "green" accents.
So you need to find an upwardly mobile group. And you will find other blacks in that group as well.
Black people are often times critcized as being 'ghetto', but if you are black and you speak proper, people make fun of you by calling you an oreo and saying that you want to be white. Most blacks really don't like you and most whites will hang out with you but they will constantly make sarcastic comments about how you are trying to be white.You really can't win. I am not comfortable around either race because of stuff like this.
This is one reason why I dislike 90% of people. People always expect you to fit every black stereotype or they try to say you really aren't "black".
I have a friend who always gives me a hard time about a lot of stupid stuff, like going to too many festivals, dating the wrong people, or because I don't do random hookups (he admits that he has trouble controlling himself and he can't help but sleep around even though he is in a relationship. he is jealous of me). But the thing he gives me the hardest time about is how he claims that I act white.
Over the years (we just started talking again in december 2014 after having a fall out a few years prior where we stopped speaking) he will always make some kind of random and somewhat sarcastic comment about me acting white. I have talked about how it bothers me when people say stuff like that. There are a few mutual friends of ours who are black and speak proper and he always comments on how they act white because they speak proper. Then last week when we were on the phone he said, "I usually can tell if I am talking to a black person on the phone by the way they sound, except if I am talking to you." So basically the last part of that statement was him taking a shot at me by saying I sound white. He has said other stuff like "you sound like a country white boy" or "that white dude is blacker than you and Greg combined" (greg is a mutual black friend of ours). Plus my friend makes racist generalizations about blacks in front of me. The last time he came to visit me, he wanted to go to waffle house but he told me "I won't go in the waffle house by where you live because too many black people go in there and black people are loud and I don't wanna get shot" ( i live in a nice, mostly black area).
He also is in a relationship with a black guy and only dates black guys (even though he is attracted to white guys as well). Most of the black guys he dates act ghetto so he expects every black guy to be like that. He grew up and still lives in a really small town in south alabama, so I try to cut him some slack because I know people in small southern towns tend to be closed-minded.
I am only attracted to whites, but I am becoming really leery of dating them. Most white people I have dated have said racist comments to me and put me down because I supposedly act white. I am tired of everybody associating being black with being ghetto. We are not all the same.
Sounds as though you are hanging around the wrong people. Respect for others demands accepting them for who they are, how they speak, what they look like, and their perspectives on life. Everyone, IMO, is entitled to this respect. The problem with those who refuse to respect others is witb them, not you.
The OP's post was mostly about a white friend telling him he sounds too white. But so many of the responses are worded as if he's talking a bout BLACK people calling him too white. Am I reading it wrong? Weird.
Anyway OP, have you told this guy to knock it off? Let him know and give him a chance to step up to the plate. He might surprise you. I would open my mouth when other people say stuff like that to you as well. Sometimes people don't realize how silly they sound until you tell them.
As far as black people, I've found that kind of thing happens most often not so much when someone speaks proper English, but because they don't "code switch" - i.e. loosen up their language and demeanor when there are no white people around. It also happens if you are black and seem to be into music and culture deemed "white", like pop or rock music. Not to say those arent stupid reasons LOL, but there are black people who are accomplished, educated and speak well who don't have those issues and that's usually why.
In any case there are plenty of people white and black who will have no problem with you just be way you are even if you have to look a little harder for them. But don't give up! Just keep looking until you find the right circle of friends.
This! I've written my post and am in the same category. At 52, I'm still getting people telling me that I sound "white". I say "No. It's just proper upbringing. My parents just "gave a damn" about how we, my siblings and I, were raised!
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