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Because of the very mixed world I grew up in, I am basically my own dialect. It's like the Sopranos met the Beverly Hillbillies, with a heavy sprinkling of Yiddish (I'm not even Jewish - just grew up with a lot of Jewish friends.), Ivy League vocabulary and profanity. And I'm a writer, so I tend to co-opt turns of phrase and vocabulary that appeal to me, no matter their origins. I'm a word sponge.
In any case, my way of speaking is probably nothing like anyone else you've ever heard before. People who criticize how you speak are generally just expressing their own insecurities. And your post isn't really about language anyway, but a few larger issues.
Primarily, it's that you're hanging out with white people who make remarks that you find to be racist and a black friend who nitpicks you like an overbearing mother. You need to find better people to be friends with. Maybe that means you need to move. Maybe that needs you need to expand your set of activities. Whatever you need to do, do it.
My two best friends since high school are BRUTAL. We rag on each other constantly. But we're not telling each other we should change how we act, dress or speak. This "friend" of yours is trying to mold you to fit his personal aesthetic. Screw him - friends don't do that.
And if you're white "friends" say something you consider racist, either you should bring it up with them or just move along and find someone else to be friends with. If you can't say "Wow, that was kinda racist" to someone you're calling a friend, then they're really not your friend.
One of the best and clearest English speaking and astounding vocabulary person I've met was a black guy from the rural south that was attending Duke, that I met at a summer job when I was attending college. I'm sure he must have endured great ridicule in his community and I also bet he's probably a CEO or at least high level manager somewhere for a large company today.
One of the best and clearest English speaking and astounding vocabulary person I've met was a black guy from the rural south that was attending Duke, that I met at a summer job when I was attending college. I'm sure he must have endured great ridicule in his community and I also bet he's probably a CEO or at least high level manager somewhere for a large company today.
I dispute the claim that "most blacks" ridicule a black person speaking standard English. "Most black youth in the ghetto," maybe. "Most blacks," no. I work with young black people from north Dallas suburbs, and all of them speak standard English...at least in my presence. Do they "code switch" in the halls? Maybe...but heck, nearly everyone code switches when with good friends or family, especially in the South.
I hear you, OP. As a black man who speaks properly I also catch a lot of slack from whites and blacks for not talking "black" enough. Who needs them anyway? It's the most racist people that want you to talk/act the way you're "supposed" to. See it as a red flag and move on to someone better.
Once upon a time in America, it was against the law to teach a black child to read or write. Many people don't know this fact! As a result, many blacks spoke improper grammar and spelled words incorrectly. That you present yourself as well-educated and decent speaks volumes.
I hear you, OP. As a black man who speaks properly I also catch a lot of slack from whites and blacks for not talking "black" enough. Who needs them anyway? It's the most racist people that want you to talk/act the way you're "supposed" to. See it as a red flag and move on to someone better.
Where are you people that you run into that as adults?
Black men already have a stigma associate with them just because of their skin color. People are so brainwashed these days and have so little exposure to black men that they automatically assume they all are thugs, speak ebonics, and are out to rob, rape and kill.
Not all people think this way about black men, but most do.
So black men....just know that 9 times out of 10....no matter how much education you have or how proper you speak or dress....you will be judged unfairly and looked at as another thug.
Black men are the only group that get judged based off the actions of the worst of the worst in their group.
Comes with the territory. Nothing you can do to change peoples beliefs about you.
Stack your money, network and do the best that you can not to give people a reason to confirm their belief of who they think you are.
You now have a "green" accent. I don't know how old you are, where you live, or what economic level you are in right now, but "ghetto" is poverty, and if you aspire to a better economic level than poverty, you need to keep speaking with a "green" accent.
Right now, even the white people you're around don't expect a black person to aspire to anything better than poverty. Get away from them, because they don't actually aspire (at least not yet) to a higher lifestyle themselves.
People--black or white--who are moving up will want to be around others with "green" accents, and won't comment that there is anything wrong or unusual about a "green" accent no matter who speaks with it. They expect people in their group to have "green" accents.
So you need to find an upwardly mobile group. And you will find other blacks in that group as well.
Yup.
Totally agree. I have not had a white or black person tell me I talked to proper in a few years now. When it did happen I was between 17-23 and at the time was hanging around specific subgroups of blacks that were from a different socioeconomic class where the dialect and language code was different from my own.
As a side note I personally do not have a problem with people who form their own language or dialect to suit their culture or identity. It's very common actually in many miniority groups where the codes, belief systems, and language is built to counter what's been deemed as the language that people in the us should speak if they want to be received positively. Yet I'm not sure why proper English is the only form truly embraced in the USA when there are so many cultures that don't grow up around people that typically speak that way in and out of the home or who prefer to preserve the language of their culture. Proper English is pushed onto to everyone in this country as this benchmark that we all must accept if we want to get xyz percent be seen positively amongst others-particularly educated middle class whites. Yet the reality is that in different subcultures that type of speaking code is not used and people don't care to attain it. Those people are looked at negatively, despite the fact that their language and cultural code is not the same as the majority or mainstream. They also look at someone like the op and because the ops language and code is different from their own and yet he resides in close proximity to them then yes they look at his proper English language and have negative opinions.
I've had many discussions with people about this--there are many scholarly articles written about dilect and language codes that differ amongst different cultures, classes etc in this country. The conclusion is always the same-you can go to other countries and it's widely accepted that people that live within those countries speak various forms of languages, some are multiple language speakers. Yet in America the expectation is that everyone speaks proper English despite the various cultures that exist that live in areas or have cultural beliefs that differ greatly from majority or mainstream living environments, beliefs practices and languages. Those people are frowned at for not adapting or assimilating and they look at those that have adapted or assimilated negatively as well. Instead why not just embrace that we all are different and that we come from different environments and that Ebonics or proper English or two of the many different languages that exists in this country? I don't judge people negatively for speaking Ebonics nor do I have positive rainbow feelings if I meet someone that speaks proper English. But I am one person lol-and I can admit that because of where I'm at in life I tend to surround myself with people that share a lot of commonalities with me.
The reality is that if the op speaks proper English and doesn't want that to be seen negatively by others and prefers to be around people that speak like him he needs to surround himself in a different circle and change his beliefs. Like attracts like. The person in this equation being told this by both races is the common denominator. I live in a diverse area with lots of blacks and whites and hang out with a diverse range of friends (but tend to hang out with my black friends the most) and in the last 2.5 years I have not had anyone say I talked white. In fact they all talk the same as I do. They have similar beliefs and mindsets. They are all people progressing to meet a similar benchmark of success that reflects the majority(I.e. Middle class educated whites) ideas of success. We are not around people that do not think like us or have similar beliefs so we don't deal with what the op is dealing with.
He needs new friends if this is a problem for him.
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