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I just re-read the OP's posts here and saw nothing that said the "cousins" fly in, only that some people come from out of town. The OP herself drives 6 hours...isn't that also out of town?
Four generations...MANY from out of town...if it is to go on any longer, everyone can get off their asses and do something.
I was just pointing out that capabilities depend on the mode of transport for cooking. If you are just bringing a carry on, you cannot necessary bring tons of food or supplies with you, hence a sign up option. Others might be carpooling in smaller vehicles. There is no doubt that something needs to change, but many times people traveling do not have unlimited space or resources. Those with no space might help with cleaning or set up.
Wow, 57 people. That sounds like an annual family reunion. If your mom, you, and your sisters have done this for years, I can see why it’s an expected and revered tradition. It honestly sounds like a lot of fun. But not everyone has the wherewithal to host such a large and complicated event every year. I agree that people should automatically pitch in and help, but when there’s 57 people it becomes overwhelming for everyone, guests and hosts alike.
It’s not easy to organize this many people into specified roles without some of them getting annoyed with the whole thing and/or refusing to come. Expect resistance if you go that route, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t change the way the holiday is handled. I personally think an event with 57 people, regardless of where it’s held, needs hired help. Hosting duties should rotate so the cost and planning don’t always fall to one person or small group of people. The problem is that not everyone may have the money to hire help, so they’ll have to find other ways to contribute or host, which may mean a smaller group of people so it’s manageable.
Maybe a family email is in order explaining that it’s a lot of work and there’s going to be a change in how things are done. Get everyone involved and ask for ideas and input. Ask what everyone would like to do going forward. If you put it out there for suggestions, people can’t complain that they weren’t consulted or involved in the planning process. And they can choose how they would like to participate, who’s house it will be at, etc. so the burden isn’t completely on one person. Let everyone know well in advance, like in early August or September, so there’s plenty of time for people to plan and still buy plane tickets.
Reading a bit of this again 57 TO ME is overwhelming and IF I were to do something like this annually and I'm 79, I would pay for a catering event. All the work, good grief.
A friend who is now gone at 95 last year...had a big party for herself for her 90 at a restaurant and had about 50 guests family and close friends...then did it again for her 95 same amount of people etc. at a restaurant. This was her birthday gift to herself...she passed a few months after her 95th and the party. Little ot but along the same lines.
If I had to do this every year I'd magically be busy that day until late in the day where I'd just pop in to say hi to everyone. If I wanted to work on Thanksgiving all day I'd just go to help at a shelter.
There are 57 guests and, let's say, 4 people on clean-up crew. That's 14 people. I've had that many over for Thanksgiving, lots of us have. Anyway, simplify. Enjoy.
There are 57 guests and, let's say, 4 people on clean-up crew. That's 14 people. I've had that many over for Thanksgiving, lots of us have. Anyway, simplify. Enjoy.
Yes on simplify and enjoy. I didn't (and still don't) get what the significance was of number of daughters (or the need to do division based on that number).
Begrudging how? By expecting them to do something instead of sitting around while the same group does all the work year after year?
No one is stewing, pretty much everyone has said to ask or assign roles. All I said was at this kind of event people shouldn't HAVE to ask. It should be automatic to offer to help at the very least to clean up. Unfortunately it doesn't always work that way. Some people are clueless that way - they just think it all magically *happens*.
To me, when someone uses verbiage like "clueless" and think it all magically happens" is derogatory words. Using derogatory words implies that SOMEONE is begrudging these people.
OP still has the vapors from even contemplating saying "NO" (nicely) to Mom and sticking to it and is off resting somewhere on a fainting couch.
Posters still arguing amongst themselves.
/good times
lol!
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