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I own rental property and have dealt with a lot of people over the years. There is a personality type which is basically unhappy with life. They tend to embellish almost every problem because it gives them pleasure pushing and complaining to others.
The other type is the neurotic personality. A person who claims to "smells mold" for example.
Both personalities are difficult to deal with and often spoiling for a fight.
I do my best to plicate such renters and cover myself in the event of a lawsuit. All the while making plans on the best way to get rid of them.
I wonder what the older neighbor does about the moon. Does she file complaints with City Hall on the nights of a full moon?
Interestingly enough, natural light, such as what comes from the moon is much less bothersome than artificial light. I am assuming that some of the posters here are used to having their sleep disturbed by artificial light and either deal with the sleep issues or just suffer through it. Lots of us who live somewhere where artificial light isn't an issue have no problem with sleep issues, even with a full moon.
Last edited by goldenlove; 01-02-2018 at 06:47 PM..
It sounds like she is a chronic complainer, and that your light isn't directed directly at her window, and that she could solve the problem with some window coverings. However, I've never known anyone to leave a side yard light on all night. That does seem like it would be annoying, especially if the window on that side is either her bedroom or the living room where she might be spending her evenings. I can see being annoyed if a neighbor left a light on all the time, shining near my window. Even blinds let some light in along the sides.
I admire the approach of first being polite but firm, and then if they persist basically suggesting they mind their own beeswax.
I'm also thinking another suggestion is to say "you have the option **not to look** at cars in your case and w my neighbor she has the option to not look at the lights by either putting up basic shades or curtains like most people but as someone pointed out maybe she doesn't have any blinds or curtains on any of her windows so she can look out and watch other people. Or if she doesn't want to put up any blinds then she just doesn't have to look at the lights- put on sleep shades or turn the other way, or SHE can put up a piece of cardboard or something in her window if she doesn't like to see it. Same with the persons sticker on their car she complained about -- hey lady just don't look if you don't think it "looks good"
Like Jen already said I think 2 or 3 times , and those folks need to move to the country. My grandparents lived on land out in the country and they had all the darkness and silence they could ever hope for. They wouldn't have moved into the Cleveland area expecting the same, is why they chose to live in oberlin at that time
You said you paid for and installed the light, so I assume it was an add-on, not something that came with the house. If your house didn't have a light there, obviously the neighbor couldn't have anticipated that it would be a problem.
If she doesn't want window coverings, should she really have to get them to mitigate the problem you created?
I don't think it's unreasonable to have a porch light on at night. It is a known and valid security measure that is used by many. Myself included.
I do think that when one lives in a populated area it is up to individuals to do what they can to mitigate any concerns or annoyances that happen to come with living in a populated area. For instance, I live in an urban area and I use white noise at night to avoid being awoken by any unexpected sounds such as dogs, fireworks (yep, they happen every fourth of July and every New Year's eve) traffic, etc. I also use blinds to avoid being awoken by streetlights, etc. or to just ensure privacy (rather then being annoyed by people walking by).
The neighbor hasn't done anything to ensure her needs not to see the light are taken care of, such as putting up blinds, but instead seems to believe that it's up to others(the op) to accommodate her need over their own. I would see the situation differently if the neighbor had taken some measures to mitigate the situation and then approach the op after it did not work to find a compromise. However, the neighbor is not asking for compromise. She's asking for the op to give up her desire for security lighting in order to accommodate her need for darkness.
What if the op didn't have window coverings and was a night owl who stayed up late with the lights on inside of the house every night? Surely the light would bother the neighbor as it would be visible. Would it be ok for the neighbor to insist that the op turn of the lights inside, or.....put up window blinds?
But she isn't complaining about the other lights is she? There must be something about your light that is different, like maybe it's just at the right height and shines at just the right angle to be bothersome.
Instead of all the justification as to why you couldn't possibly be creating a problem and blaming it all on her being persnickety, why don't you at least talk to her, maybe try to see if it really is bothersome from where she is, and try compromise?
It's the obstinate refusal to admit there might be some truth to what she says that is so confounding. Just because she's a PITA doesn't mean she can't have a legitimate gripe every once in a while.
I'm picturing a light on the side of the house. Sides of houses are as few as 10 feet away from each other. Fronts and backs of houses are usually much further apart. Front porch lights and carriage lights on the front of suburban houses are common and come standard. The OP installed this light himself. There is a difference between a porch light across the street and a side yard light 10 feet away, maybe closer.
I deal with "neighbor problems" for a living, and I AM telling you that self-centered FO attitudes of people like you who are itching for a fight and love drama are the reason behind 99% of those neighbor problems.
I've said it as plainly as I can. It's not my fault that you can't understand a simple point: The OP has not gone over to see how his light (which YOU haven't seen either, Mr. Bandwagon Fan) affects his neighbor. That's all.
If he does that and the light really is not a problem, he can go to bed and sleep well, knowing that his neighbor really is unreasonable. Until then, he is just as unreasonable as she is.
Why should he? According to OP this lady has a history of acting like an entitled diva princess. It's not my fault you can't understand that a homeowner has every right to softly illuminate his property, to hell with the neighbors who choose to have no blinds or curtains. Also if this is Los Angeles and this woman expects no light, that makes it/her even more ridiculous and....unreasonable. You can't get away from the light in LA unless you live in a gated mansion in the hills, like I said. (And even those have plenty of lights on.)
I'm simply not going to agree with you, and you not me, so this is futile.
1. Explain to the neighbor you put the light on because you have heard noises and think someone might have been in the backyard.
2. Ask to come over after dark and take a look from the neighbors view.
By explaining you heard noises you put the woman in the awkward position of telling you to ignore what you consider a safety issue. Explain by actually seeing the light at night from her vantage point you can determine the best course of action..
On the other flip side if the woman refuses to let you come over and see for yourself how the light shines then forget it.
It doesn't matter what you do because you aren't going to satisfy the woman until you remove the light. If this happens make sure you aren't breaking an HOA or local ordinance. The woman is bad news.
Lots of unhappy and/or neurotic people in the world and sometimes they live close by.
tell her you saw some strangers in her yard at night and you don't want them coming into yours.
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