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To the OP.......I would say the burden now rests with YOU.
nip it in the bud
At the first discussion of politics assert yourself by saying......"not in my house !
I know a family close to me that in 2011 a guy and his brother-in-law ( out of state) got into such heated political arguments at night via internet that it resulted in invitations to a high school graduation party cancelled and the out of state guy refusing to come home to attend his own mother's funeral.
They have not spoken in 7 years and that means the out of state guy has not spoken to his sister in 7 years either.
They say discussing religion can result in long running feuds / grudges.
Politics is worse.
Put your foot down to both your daughter's in-laws and your husband that you will not tolerate it .
You don't have to "go to" someone's page to see their posts. They pop up in your news feed. I did find the wording of the OP odd, as if he/she thinks the in-laws should censor their posts so as not to offend them.
Well as I stated earlier I don't use FB. It was explained to me earlier on how the newsfeed works, so thank you anyway.
That being said if I did use FB it wouldn't be everyone under the sun. The OP's one married this woman 2 years ago, second marriage for both, with children from the previous marriages.
It's not like they have known this couple for 10 or 15 years and have mutual grandkids, so why they're FB friends I don't get.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melchisedec
To the OP.......I would say the burden now rests with YOU.
nip it in the bud
At the first discussion of politics assert yourself by saying......"not in my house !
I know a family close to me that in 2011 a guy and his brother-in-law ( out of state) got into such heated political arguments at night via internet that it resulted in invitations to a high school graduation party cancelled and the out of state guy refusing to come home to attend his own mother's funeral.
They have not spoken in 7 years and that means the out of state guy has not spoken to his sister in 7 years either.
They say discussing religion can result in long running feuds / grudges.
Politics is worse.
Put your foot down to both your daughter's in-laws and your husband that you will not tolerate it .
Well now that the OP has come back and stated they intend to stay with her and her husband, even if you had the same political views, who asks people thar are really in fact people you don't really know at all, to ask to stay at your home? Who does that? Surely they can afford a hotel for a week, if they can't than stay home.
I live in Southern CA, although it happened many years ago I had a few times where people called up and wanted to come out to "Cali" and stay with me, I am not talking about friends but acquaintances, this was many years ago when I was younger and still thought how nervy to invite yourself to stay with someone.
IDK how old the OP is but I would imagine at least in their 50s, the only people staying in your home and people you invite, not those who invite themselves.
Good lord, why would anyone want to stay with their kid's in-laws for a week?
It's possible, we have vacation with my daughters family, her inlaws including her sister in law and family and had a grand time.
Op, I'm saying this as a conservative, just because they post their political beliefs on their page doesn't mean they posted it to make you feel uncomfortable and if they already know your political beliefs I doubt that they will barge in your home and start a argument about politics and if they bring it up just ignore the bait and change the subject
Thanks everyone. Actually they would be staying with us. Possibly for a week. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. We know them and have had holidays together when we lived up north near them. I have unfollowed them but my husband hadn't until a few days ago. I feel that I can spend time with them and not talk politics but am afraid that my husband will rise to the bait if it comes up. He still has issues with the FIL for telling him how to cut the Thanksgiving turkey. All of the political stuff started after the 2016 elections. Oh well. All your responses have been duly noted and make a lot of sense.
OP maybe you can "arrange" things during their visit that tend to discourage long conversations that might drift into politics. Self-serve buffet style breakfasts, play movies or music, do activities with other people (the married kids, invite a neighbor to join a BBQ), take out lunches, dutch dinners out (they should offer as you are putting them up anyway), picnics someplace public, stuff that might put a damper on anything but superficial chatting. Make it a bit less "convenient" or minimize the amount of time you all are sitting down in a group talking. Probably not a good idea to gather around the TV for the evening news
OT: Can someone please explain to me just why hearing suggestions about carving the holiday turkey makes some men so nuts???
I agree, I but I also got the sense in the OP that they were sorta rubbing their views in her face, if I recall correctly.
Posting what one thinks on FB is hardly rubbing their views in anyone's face; it's just expressing their views and if the OP think they're wrong, just unfollow them and problem solved. Just have the initial meeting and see how it goes, don't make a mountain before any molehill has even appeared.
Do you think they are in a diplomatic visiting that working on improving relationships and re-build communication bridge between 2 countries. Sorry, I'm just kidding.
Look, it's easier than what you imagine, tell your son, to tell his wife, to tell her parents that you belonged to the different side of views and not welcome this type of discussion topics at home,and they will listen.
This is appropriate to say to the son, if the dreaded politics are brought in after the upcoming visit. It is not appropriate at all to say to the son before anything has even happened. However it seems inappropriate and presumptuous to invite themselves to stay with the OP, if the OP has not offered to house them.
Fish and houseguests both stink after 3 days, they need to get a hotel.
This, a thousand times over.
I get it that different families have different "norms" and that some families would actually RATHER (for whatever reasons) stay with family, sleeping on a pullout sofa or kicking a kid out of their room, for a week, sharing bathrooms with three or four people, etc. Wow, that's certainly not me or my kids but apparently some people do it.
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