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Well, just for some perspective, things that were acceptable years ago may not be acceptable now and that's OK.
Remember that slavery was acceptable. Women being denied the right to vote was acceptable. Discriminatory pay practices were acceptable. Racist real estate red lining was acceptable. "Off with his head!" in western society was acceptable - no trial necessary.
When my grandmother was young, African American people were called "nigras." This was the "nice" version of the "n word." Everyone who WASN'T a racist called black people that. My grandmother was one of the least racist people I have ever known but before she finally figured out (without me calling her out I might add) that "nigra" wasn't an acceptable term to use anymore, she would call people by that term. Thankfully, being fairly astute and definitely not racist, about twenty years after it was no longer acceptable, she finally figured out that it was a poor choice of words.
I remember my grandmother and other elderly folks of my mother's generation always referring to filbert nuts as "(N-word) toes". At the market, candy store, etc. They weren't necessarily all racist...it was a common name they'd grown up with for that particular kind of nut.
I remember my grandmother and other elderly folks of my mother's generation always referring to filbert nuts as "(N-word) toes". At the market, candy store, etc. They weren't necessarily all racist...it was a common name they'd grown up with for that particular kind of nut.
Yes and jerry-rigging something had another name by my grandparents.
You may call things what you learn when you are a young child and then you hit an age where
you realize that something is rude or racist and don't use that anymore.
Well, just for some perspective, things that were acceptable years ago may not be acceptable now and that's OK.
Remember that slavery was acceptable. Women being denied the right to vote was acceptable. Discriminatory pay practices were acceptable. Racist real estate red lining was acceptable. "Off with his head!" in western society was acceptable - no trial necessary.
When my grandmother was young, African American people were called "nigras." This was the "nice" version of the "n word." Everyone who WASN'T a racist called black people that. My grandmother was one of the least racist people I have ever known but before she finally figured out (without me calling her out I might add) that "nigra" wasn't an acceptable term to use anymore, she would call people by that term. Thankfully, being fairly astute and definitely not racist, about twenty years after it was no longer acceptable, she finally figured out that it was a poor choice of words.
That's apples to oranges.
You are talking about the evolution of morality and civility - this practice has been slowly occurring for a couple of millennia at least - since the advent of royalty and serfdom.
We're not talking about the evolution of human civilization here in this tread - we're talking about one word being replaced by another word that has somehow became more acceptable - i.e. more trendy to use. For example, why is "Oriental" now considered a racist word? Does the Orient no longer exist?
This emphasis on Political Correctness has only been a factor in people's lives for a few decades at most.
You are talking about the evolution of morality and civility - this practice has been slowly occurring for a couple of millennia at least - since the advent of royalty and serfdom.
We're not talking about the evolution of human civilization here in this tread - we're talking about one word being replaced by another word that has somehow became more acceptable - i.e. more trendy to use. For example, why is "Oriental" now considered a racist word? Does the Orient no longer exist?
This emphasis on Political Correctness has only been a factor in people's lives for a few decades at most.
It's not the same thing.
The "evolution of civility" you say? Like, how we might want to refer to people as they prefer to be referred to? That would be civil, would it not?
My friend later told me that she "didn't think it was worth it" to try to educate him or really any older person who does things that are offensive or racist. I tried not to make a big deal about it and talk to him privately, but I do wonder if it was worthwhile.
So if you are in a situation where an older person says something like this, do you call them out? Do you let it go? Has it ever gotten a positive response or do you think its just not worth it?
I have not read all the thread, but I am 65, and if I say something offensive (and I would only say something offensive due to not knowing any better!), I would appreciate being nicely corrected.
However, I will almost certainly never use the "neutral" pronouns some people are promoting because that would be just too confusing, and, imo, is only being promoted to pacify a very small part of the population. Most members of the LGBTQ community I know are just fine using the pronouns now commonly in use that have existed for centuries.
You are talking about the evolution of morality and civility - this practice has been slowly occurring for a couple of millennia at least - since the advent of royalty and serfdom.
We're not talking about the evolution of human civilization here in this tread - we're talking about one word being replaced by another word that has somehow became more acceptable - i.e. more trendy to use. For example, why is "Oriental" now considered a racist word? Does the Orient no longer exist?
This emphasis on Political Correctness has only been a factor in people's lives for a few decades at most.
The Orient means the east in relation to Europe/the so-called western world.
Asia is a way of defining the location in a non-Eurocentric way.
Honestly I haven’t heard anybody call a person Oriental since my childhood in the 80’s.
Back on thread topic, I would not “call out†an older relative to publicly shame them because it’s not my job to cleanse their thoughts or try to change them. I just try to be a good person myself. I might say something quietly to the relative if I thought they’d really like to know.
The "evolution of civility" you say? Like, how we might want to refer to people as they prefer to be referred to? That would be civil, would it not?
Not really, no. You are assuming all people of X type want to be called the same things. When I was growing up, I was told it was rude and incorrect to say "blacks" and that the correct term was "African-American," which did always confuse me a bit because I'd see people like Vijay Singh called an African-American, even though the dude is Indian! He may indeed have black skin, but he ain't an African-American lol. Then eventually I grew up and suddenly it changed back to being black again, because not all black people wanted to be associated with being African, or even had African heritage in any point in the recent past, I presume. I have no idea, but I've watched that change multiple times and it leaves one confused about what is the preferred way to put something, not out of malice or anything else but just trying to be "with it" when something changes constantly.
Or the term "mentally handicapped" wasn't ok for a while when I was a kid, you had to say "special," even though there's nothing special about it. It's nonsense, it's silliness, and it needs to stop. Now you can't say "disabled" apparently, that might offend someone, so you have to say "otherwise-abled" even though obviously someone missing a leg and an arm is flat out disabled, no other way around it.
REDACTED -- a certain word for gay people that is contained in LGBTQ, the last one, is actually banned from this forum! Yet that word has been used now by the gay community for some time, even though what I wrote here originally (and edited) was that as a kid, that word would be completely inappropriate and I'd never have used it whatsoever. I was a bit baffled at its emergence as a word the community uses, because it seems in the past to have been an insult. This forum apparently agrees with my view of that, but the community / people in question do not, anymore.
On a linguistic basis, it's difficult to understand why shortened words are offensive, like it seems completely illogical but just accepted. I've seen mainstream media articles mention "Jews" and I'm not even sure if that's ok, like I thought you were better off saying Jewish people, not "Jews," because I've heard others offended by that, even though it seems completely logical that a Jewish person is a Jew just as a person following Christianity is a Christian. Color me confused. Or a homosexual, you wouldn't dare say "My friend is seeing a really nice guy at the moment," then the person looks at you confused, "Oh I'm sorry, he's homo" even though you're just dropped "sexual" from the term and nobody ever thinks it's a big deal if you say, "I'm hetero," like that wouldn't offend anyone, it's completely normal, everyone knows the word that follows. It's a bit baffling and based on the person you're talking to's perception more than just the actual meaning of any given term or word.
EDIT: I would also like to add that you can't write the title of a popular mainstream show, SOMETHING Eye for the Straight Guy, because the forum deems that word offensive. Clearly, mainstream media does not deem it offensive anymore.
My adult niece always listens to me through her filter. For example, my choosing not to go to a Diana Ross concert was assumed by her to be racist statement. HER attitude/statements are very offensive! And, for the record, I LOVED Diana Ross.
Not really, no. You are assuming all people of X type want to be called the same things. When I was growing up, I was told it was rude and incorrect to say "blacks" and that the correct term was "African-American," which did always confuse me a bit because I'd see people like Vijay Singh called an African-American, even though the dude is Indian! He may indeed have black skin, but he ain't an African-American lol. Then eventually I grew up and suddenly it changed back to being black again, because not all black people wanted to be associated with being African, or even had African heritage in any point in the recent past, I presume. I have no idea, but I've watched that change multiple times and it leaves one confused about what is the preferred way to put something, not out of malice or anything else but just trying to be "with it" when something changes constantly.
Or the term "mentally handicapped" wasn't ok for a while when I was a kid, you had to say "special," even though there's nothing special about it. It's nonsense, it's silliness, and it needs to stop. Now you can't say "disabled" apparently, that might offend someone, so you have to say "otherwise-abled" even though obviously someone missing a leg and an arm is flat out disabled, no other way around it.
REDACTED -- a certain word for gay people that is contained in LGBTQ, the last one, is actually banned from this forum! Yet that word has been used now by the gay community for some time, even though what I wrote here originally (and edited) was that as a kid, that word would be completely inappropriate and I'd never have used it whatsoever. I was a bit baffled at its emergence as a word the community uses, because it seems in the past to have been an insult. This forum apparently agrees with my view of that, but the community / people in question do not, anymore.
On a linguistic basis, it's difficult to understand why shortened words are offensive, like it seems completely illogical but just accepted. I've seen mainstream media articles mention "Jews" and I'm not even sure if that's ok, like I thought you were better off saying Jewish people, not "Jews," because I've heard others offended by that, even though it seems completely logical that a Jewish person is a Jew just as a person following Christianity is a Christian. Color me confused. Or a homosexual, you wouldn't dare say "My friend is seeing a really nice guy at the moment," then the person looks at you confused, "Oh I'm sorry, he's homo" even though you're just dropped "sexual" from the term and nobody ever thinks it's a big deal if you say, "I'm hetero," like that wouldn't offend anyone, it's completely normal, everyone knows the word that follows. It's a bit baffling and based on the person you're talking to's perception more than just the actual meaning of any given term or word.
EDIT: I would also like to add that you can't write the title of a popular mainstream show, SOMETHING Eye for the Straight Guy, because the forum deems that word offensive. Clearly, mainstream media does not deem it offensive anymore.
Just like all language usage, there's context in and behind everything you've posted here. Also, language changes and shifts across all usage, not just in that of identity. Would you refuse to use the words email or smartphone just because they didn't exist 30 years ago?
For most of this country's history, those who weren't white, male, and Protestant were called whatever the group in power decided. Marginalized groups are finally getting the power to define their own identity. So, yeah, groups that haven't had this ability in the past are going to struggle a bit to find a single, over-arching moniker that all in the tribe ascribe to. There's going to be waves and quick changes and fits-and-starts. It's a bit like a toddler learning to walk.
Your post makes it seems like you're angry about the fact that you might have to change--that you can't just find one way to live and live that way from birth until death. Unfortunately, while most of us don't love change, it is the one constant in life. And, this includes language.
The most important thing is just to try and be a good person and not intentionally offensive. Sure, we all put our feet in mouths once in a while, but you just apologize and learn from it.
Besides, the reality is that we all pretty much sequester ourselves within our own tribal groups. On a day-to-day basis it's not too often that most of us are put into situations where we might offend someone different because we just don't have a lot of interaction with them.
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