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So your grandpa makes a semi-outdated/possibly-slightly-offensive comment (there are certainly much more offensive words than "black" and "Oriental") and so you should totally ostracize him from your life???
I won't mention what my grandma named her black cat..Dear Lord..
Then she would go outside and call the cat very loudly...
I won't mention what my grandma named her black cat..Dear Lord..
Then she would go outside and call the cat very loudly...
My youngest DD told me about someone she knows who has a black cat and named it the same thing. He wasn't old...was in his thirties, actually. Poor cat. He always came running when he heard his name, though.
Speaking of cats...I have four of my own. For a couple of years we had Asian exchange students living in a house catacorner to ours. My 90-something-year-old mother would constantly ask on our weekly phone calls, "How are the Chinese? Do you still have all your cats?" My mother doesn't like minorities or foreigners. It's just her. Should I appoint myself SJW and scold her? Not on your life. I didn't like those neighbors either (not because of their nationality, they were just extremely rude and had no boundaries).
I worked for a few years at a nursing placement agency. We placed home duty health aides with sick and elderly patients. We had one old woman who was a piece of work...she had been born into the "upper crust" of the city at the turn of the century, and was she a snob! She was very particular about her home health aides. They couldn't be black, Hispanic, Jewish, divorced, have out-of-wedlock children, or be living "in sin". The pickings got to be awfully slim staffing her. But hey, it was her money paying for a nurse...she should be able to pick who she wanted.
Edit: Add to that list, Catholic and Italian. When we told her the name of the nurse we'd staffed, she's start the Spanish Inquisition about what nationality it was.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 10-19-2018 at 11:09 AM..
We had dinner with a relative who is solidly in the BB generation. He went on about "orientals" and loudly mentioned "that black waitress" who was serving us several times: at one point I saw her cringe when he said it. I took him aside and said politely that the term "oriental" is applied to objects and no longer a term that is used to describe a person, and as there was only one waitress serving us, it was not necessary to refer to her race; besides that she had told us her name. This relative said that he is "too old to worry about this" and that "younger people should not correct a Baby Boomer because they have no idea about life." To which I replied that I did not mean to embarrass him, but wanted to help him and changed the subject.
He complained to a friend of ours who was dining with us but did not hear me say this to him. My friend later told me that she "didn't think it was worth it" to try to educate him or really any older person who does things that are offensive or racist. I tried not to make a big deal about it and talk to him privately, but I do wonder if it was worthwhile.
So if you are in a situation where an older person says something like this, do you call them out? Do you let it go? Has it ever gotten a positive response or do you think its just not worth it?
Just so you know, I get your drift that he is old and opinionated but you shouldn't paint baby boomers with the same brush. That's not nice either.
Did you call him out at the dinner table? I know how uncomfortable that must have been. It is okay to comment like "we don't call Asians that anymore out of respect" and you can say "we refer to black people as African-Americans out of respect". If the guy has any manners he would stop the talk after you spoke.
Source, please. I have never read that definition before. I have always read and been told by professors that 1946-1964 are the years that encompass the Baby Boomer generation.
Here's a chart from the Pew Research Center which shows generational brackets:
Yah, the years are listed correctly, but the context is exactly what he said. It just means that cohort has that inception point....very clearly delineated because of the surge in births stemming from the end of the war.
I did not read all the replies but I simplify things.
I do not care the age, if you are a jerk and ignorant you get called out. I try to do it lovingly and with as much respect as I can but yeah if I find you being offensive, I say something.
Speaking of cats...I have four of my own. For a couple of years we had Asian exchange students living in a house catacorner to ours. My 90-something-year-old mother would constantly ask on our weekly phone calls, "How are the Chinese? Do you still have all your cats?" My mother doesn't like minorities or foreigners. It's just her. Should I appoint myself SJW and scold her?
Um, yes? A "mom, you know that's not nice." Maybe you don't change her mind, but maybe she learns not to verbalize those thoughts. People who stay silent in the face of racism/sexism/homophobia are allowing the status quo to persist.
We decided to tell DH's mother when she said something racist stupid. We were kind about it. Our relationship improved in all kinds of ways. it was helpful to us and her.
It occurred to me that i would want my own kids to tell me if i were wrong or said something offensive. Doesn't happen ofter, but they do. Of course the realize there were no tvs and only party lines when I was going up, so I've come a long way.
Now I have to get up speed on the gender stuff. It's tough
We had dinner with a relative who is solidly in the BB generation. He went on about "orientals" and loudly mentioned "that black waitress" who was serving us several times: at one point I saw her cringe when he said it. I took him aside and said politely that the term "oriental" is applied to objects and no longer a term that is used to describe a person . . . .
Wrong. Among normal people, it is still used freely, as it should be. It's a perfectly good word that should be in no way offensive to anyone, and it is wrong for you to presume to tell people how to talk. You don't own them.
Last edited by hbdwihdh378y9; 10-19-2018 at 02:38 PM..
A few years ago, in conversation with my oldest son, I referred to someone or other as "oriental". It was never my intention to be offensive, and didn't know at the time, that it was offensive.
It wan't offensive, and it still isn't. The Left just gets off on forcing people to do humiliating things, like change their language just because the Left says to.
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