Do you call out older relatives if they say something offensive? (gatherings, holidays)
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We had dinner with a relative who is solidly in the BB generation. He went on about "orientals" and loudly mentioned "that black waitress" who was serving us several times: at one point I saw her cringe when he said it. I took him aside and said politely that the term "oriental" is applied to objects and no longer a term that is used to describe a person, and as there was only one waitress serving us, it was not necessary to refer to her race; besides that she had told us her name. This relative said that he is "too old to worry about this" and that "younger people should not correct a Baby Boomer because they have no idea about life." To which I replied that I did not mean to embarrass him, but wanted to help him and changed the subject.
He complained to a friend of ours who was dining with us but did not hear me say this to him. My friend later told me that she "didn't think it was worth it" to try to educate him or really any older person who does things that are offensive or racist. I tried not to make a big deal about it and talk to him privately, but I do wonder if it was worthwhile.
So if you are in a situation where an older person says something like this, do you call them out? Do you let it go? Has it ever gotten a positive response or do you think its just not worth it?
I always insult my relatives--older or younger--first. That way they stay confused and can't go on the offensive (NPI).
Well, I don't see why someone would need to say black or Asian waitress anyway. Why not just say waitress. And, as far as people from the Orient go, some of us who came along after the boomers were still raised saying Orientals. Sure, it was better to say the individuals country if you knew it, but it wasn't meant to be a slam.
I'm a solid baby boomer. I call out anyone of any age who says stuff that I perceive to be bigoted and offensive. A person's age can't be used as an excuse for having bad manners or being a bigot.
What you do in your own time or with your own friends is your business. I will not be privy to it or tolerate it. If they can't adjust around me, I'll either stop being around them or continue to politely confront the behavior.
I believe everyone is responsible for themselves, so I would not call a bigoted relative out in public, unless they were causing a scene or acting in a hateful manner.
Depends. I was on a day trip with seldom-seen relatives one day a few months ago - one of them (a father and adult son) was driving. The conversation became very misogynist on the part of the son, who clearly has issues. I did speak up, only for the thrice-wed, thrice divorced father to partially counter what I'd said, in agreement with his son. I pushed a bit more but then tried to change the subject, since I was going to be stuck with them for the remainder of the day, was dependent on them for transportation and was a hour away from where I was staying and had left my own car.
I was aware the son had some social issues, but had not encountered this attitude from him previously. His father was not as overtly misogynist, but was still bad enough, I thought. Father is in his late 70s; son in his late 30s. I am a baby boomer, so a few years younger than the father.
I knew not to discuss national politics with either, as we differ sharply there, but the misogyny- overt bigotry and outrageous statements about women in the workplace (where he was not very successful) on the son's part - took me by surprise. This was months before the Kavanaugh hearing, btw.
Not a pleasant way to spend my limited vacation time. I have had little contact with either since then.
As a baby-boomer, it is inconceivable that there are people still so ignorant.
Now, understand, it is the baby-boomer generation that started to, and in many cases spearheaded, the move to by ethnic and color blind, and recognize everyone as equal. (We're also the same generation that gave you the I-phone )
It is just completely out of line, and yes, the old phart needs to be tuned up.
I believe everyone is responsible for themselves, so I would not call a bigoted relative out in public, unless they were causing a scene or acting in a hateful manner.
I can’t recall the last time I used the term “Oriental” but apparently, I missed something.
What is wrong with the word Oriental? I thought it meant “from the Orient”?
Oriental does mean from the orient as in to describe a specific geographical location or to describe a manufactured thing or artifact or jewel or other item that has its origin in the orient. But oriental is not a race and it's not acceptable as a noun, nor to describe a person or race of people. However, as we older baby boomers all know, it did get used as a reference to people or race at one time, right up until about 50 years ago.
As a reference to or descriptor of people that all changed in the late 1960's because there was far too much terrible confusion happening globally as to what defines an oriental person. Now it's globally accepted that the correct noun to describe ethnicity and sometimes certain people's race (but not necessarily accepted in all places), the correct term to use is supposed to be Asian.
And there is more than one Asia or one type of Asian, there are several regional Asias, such as East Asia, South Asia, West Asia, Central Asia, Northeast Asia, etc. and then there are the names of all the many countries themselves that fall within the boundaries of all the different Asias. The Asias cover a vastly huge pan-continental area and include several countries, ethnicities or races. So oriental to describe a person no longer means anything but confusion and only works if you're referring to something like an oriental object - an oriental carpet or descriptive oriental clothing or other exotic art work, or treasures, etc. from the orient.
With regard to people, here is the reason why and/or what are correct definitions for Asian people that are appropriate for use in different countries - scroll down to the USA section to see how it pertains to USA:
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