Do you call out older relatives if they say something offensive? (neighborhood, neighbors)

[luzianne]

Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801

When I was a kid, I remember that black people were called "Negroes" or "colored people", and then I remember reading that "black" was the preferred term, so that's what I always used. "Afro-American" was around for a while but never came into common use, and then "African-American" came into play later on.

Then "people of color" came into fashion, and I found it amusing that it was acceptable but "colored people" was not. It's just a rearrangement of the same words, but then again, "colored" was often used with the connotation of meaning "less than".

Language is interesting and changes constantly. If someone isn't paying attention, they could very well be unwittingly offensive.

In the end, it's easier just to say "people".

My stepmom said "colored people" till the day she died. She was born in 1919 and when she was growing up and well into her adulthood, that was the term that was used. The NAACP stands for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and that name of that organization has not changed. If it's so offensive, why has the name not been changed?


At any rate, I never chastised or corrected my stepmom. She didn't hate black people. She just used the term that she had used all her life. I don't think she ever called a black person "colored" to their face and certainly never meant it in a derogatory way.

[MaryleeII]

Do you call them out? In my experience, you won't get a chance....


Such people are masters at dominating the conversation to the point no one gets a word in edgewise, anyways. They talk so LOUD they can be heard all over the place, talk non-stop without taking a breath, then, if/when you do manage to get a word in edgewise they overtalk you. If you do manage to get a partial sentence completed, they claim they can't hear you. One of their favorite weapons is the word "What?" Then, when you pause to restructure what you were trying to say, they take right up again with their rant, or whatever.....believe me, such people can't be stopped, let alone corrected, its like trying to stop a moving train... The only thing you can do is avoid them in the future

[SoulJourn]

Originally Posted by CatzPaw

Being "solidly" a Baby Boomer has little to do with it. He's a jerk.

And a jerk like that is not going to change. In fact, he'll probably dig in if confronted.

If it makes you feel better to say something, do it. Just don't expect miracles.

I'd agree. Try being raised by The Greatest Generation. My parents thought that "coloreds" was a normal and unoffensive term. It gets worse.

Yes. I called them out a few times. However, it had little effect.

With most Baby Boomers, it seems that the problem is more of terminology rather than bigotry. Not all, but most. Terms change so quickly. Even well intentioned people can make innocent mistakes.
Baby boomers were actually the first to examine bias, language and it's implications.

[CatzPaw]

Originally Posted by SoulJourn

I'd agree. Try being raised by The Greatest Generation. My parents thought that "coloreds" was a normal and unoffensive term. It gets worse.

Yes. I called them out a few times. However, it had little effect.

With most Baby Boomers, it seems that the problem is more of terminology rather than bigotry. Not all, but most. Terms change so quickly. Even well intentioned people can make innocent mistakes.
Baby boomers were actually the first to examine bias, language and it's implications.

But, you see, "colored" was a less offensive descriptor term when they were coming up. Not everyone who used it meant to be offensive. Some of them didn't manage (or want to) change with the times, true.

[Hollytree]

Originally Posted by bondaroo

If someone is using a word to insult someone, I will, and have, say something immediately. I don't care who is listening. Using a word that has been replaced with a more acceptable word, that is something I would either let slide, or mention in private if I thought it would make a difference.

This is not a thing.

Hand-waving changing language with a "who can keep up with all of this nonsense?" is being deliberately obtuse.

Whoo hoo, you haven't been in the schools lately. The terminology can change very year.

[luzianne]

Originally Posted by CatzPaw

But, you see, "colored" was a less offensive descriptor term when they were coming up. Not everyone who used it meant to be offensive. Some of them didn't manage (or want to) change with the times, true.

Exactly. My stepmom knew that the N word was offensive. She did not realize that "colored" was offensive and she never intended it to be offensive.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by luzianne

As if younger relatives never say anything offensive?

Ha, good point. I have cousins my age who are Archie Bunkers and so are their adult children. They still use the "n" word and make stupid racist jokes. My sister has been married to a black man for more than 40 years. You should see how fake they are on the rare occasions when they see him, such as at family funerals, pretending to be friendly, and of course my BIL sees right through them.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by luzianne

My stepmom said "colored people" till the day she died. She was born in 1919 and when she was growing up and well into her adulthood, that was the term that was used. The NAACP stands for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and that name of that organization has not changed. If it's so offensive, why has the name not been changed?


At any rate, I never chastised or corrected my stepmom. She didn't hate black people. She just used the term that she had used all her life. I don't think she ever called a black person "colored" to their face and certainly never meant it in a derogatory way.

I think my grandmother did also, now that you mention it, and I never heard her say anything negative about black people. She was born in 1907. And if you go back, as you pointed out, black people referred to themselves as "colored". I think the term fell into disuse during the Civil Rights Era when photos of water fountains and restrooms with signs that said "Colored" became prominent.

I do remember my other grandmother (born in 1892) saying, "Oh look, there's a colored lady walking up the street." I ran to the window, expecting to see someone who was all different colors and was disappointed to see a lady with dark skin in a nurse's uniform. I think I said something like, "She's just brown" and my grandmother saying, "That's what they're called."

Goes to show you the environment I was in at the time where seeing a black person on the street was cause enough for remark. In my hometown back in those days, the "different" people were the Catholics.

How we divide ourselves, eh?

[Travelassie]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

So this guy is at most in his 70's? Was he in the military, do you know? For people that age, saying "Orientals" was actually considered very PC, considering the names they were called routinely that are really ugly. Orientals, in the 70's, was a nice, genteel way to refer to Asians. That's changed but maybe in his heart it hasn't?

How offended would you be if you were waiting on a Black family in a restaurant, and the old man in the family said where is that white waitress - I need more tea! Is that the context - he was just trying to locate her for service?

Or perhaps, if one is considering the potential offense taken by the individual referred to in a "non-PC" term or description, one might also consider that if one is looking for such things, he/she might consider that perhaps being called an "old man" rather offensive ( at least to those looking to be offended about something).

I'm a Baby Boomer myself, and it's just plain good manners and consideration that would keep me from referring to anyone by terms or descriptions for which some might take offense, or be made uncomfortable for some reason. And that would include referring to a waiter/waitress or anyone providing a service to me by their ethnicity/race, unless I was trying to recall an individual out of a group and needed a description to differentiate the one I was referring to from the others. Obviously one would have to be in a time warp not to recognize one must never use the "N" word ( unless one is a Black Rapper, of course ).

But I never knew, haven't kept up with the latest edition of the PC directory, I guess, to realize that the word "oriental" used to describe an individual whose family/predecessors hailed from points in Asia was considered offensive these days. If I used that word to describe the characteristics of an individual ( though I'd be more likely to say "Asian"), it certainly wouldn't be meant to offend, and I'd likely tell someone who "called me out on it" to hop off his high horse and cut the sanctimonious attitude.

[SFBayBoomer]

Originally Posted by Shelia Shay

At 61, i'm on the "younger" end of the baby boomers. .

Actually, at 61 you are closer to the middle of the Baby Boomer generation. Someone who is 54 or 55 is on the younger end of the Boomer generation, which officially encompasses the years 1946-1984.