Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Absolutely I'd want to know who the neighbors are and if they don't approach us and introduce themselves, we will meet them at some point somewhere and chat a bit. Seems more polite that way and in case they or we need immediate help at some point, at least knowing their name would be helpful. We have big hedges on either side of our house, so we coordinate hedge maintenance with the neighbors on the sides. There's an orchard behind, so we don't see them much.
Sometimes the neighbors drop by for a visit, sometimes we visit them.
I think introducing yourself to neighbors is a good thing. Especially with lost pets, missing packages and all the other issues that crop up. I wouldn’t worry about it. Now you know not to say anything to this couple in the future. I’d still make introductions to future new neighbors.
I’m a very private person. No, make that extremely private. Still, I would make the effort to introduce myself to new neighbors. I’m not saying I would ask them over for dinner, but being on speaking terms is a good thing IMO. We recently had new neighbors move in from a northern state. The UPS guy delivers one of their packages to me so I carried it down the street to give it to them. Honestly, I was very put off by their lack of appreciation for me doing that. I wasn’t expecting a tip, but a Thank You would have been nice.
We've just recently moved into what will be our retirement house. Our closest have made a point to walk over and say hello as they saw us outside doing some chore.
I think that is a good thing, despite the fact that we're not inclined to be friends just because we live next door or across the street.
Neighbors should be cordial--at least until someone demonstrates he's a jackazz.
As has been mentioned, delivery mistakes might be made--it would dumb to have been cold to a neighbor such that he'd drop your package in the trash rather than bring it over to you.
It would have been dumb to have been cold to a neighbor such that he'd watch someone break into your house without calling 911.
If you shared a wall with someone, it would have been dumb to have been cold to a neighbor such that he'd call 911 rather than knock on the door to let you know your television is too loud.
I live in a Townhouse and have neighbors on either side of us. The townhouse on one side of us was empty for a few months but a few weeks ago a new couple moved in. I saw them come out of their home and went over to introduce myself. (We share walls so we have common interests.)
I was completely shocked by how cold and standoffish they were. They seemed insulted and bothered that I would take even a minute of their valuable time to approach them and introduce myself. Their reaction seemed to be that there was no reason to bother them just because we were neighbors. I just wanted to talk to them for a minute or less knowing how busy people are today.
My wife asked me why I even bothered because nowadays most people don't talk to their neighbors. So the new neighbors likely thought I was bothering them. They thought: "You live next door, SO?"
So, would you approach a new neighbor who just moved in just to say hello and introduce yourself?
I don't see what their problem is. I have and still do approach neighbors. I also take cool drinks over to construction workers on a hot day. I water city trees when they are dry. Some people think I am nuts.
Today's sense of community is sadly lacking.Don't let other people prevent you from being friendly.
with potential 'too close for comfort' situations, a simple smile and "Hi" seems to do the trick. no reason to know more unless there's a *mutual* need later on, and better to observe behavior patterns in general beforehand so no unrealistic expectations in case of real problems. just feeling lonely or wanting to chat doesn't guarantee a "good fit".
I lived in the same house for 20 years and never talk to any neighbor. I have no problem with society as I have been a consultant and in sales for many many years. I meet many people I have things in common with and have a wide circle of friends. When I am home though, I am home and do not want anyone bothering me. I understand that I may not be the norm in this, but, there are others like me.
So...you saw them exiting their home, and decided to approach them as they were getting ready to go somewhere?
I don't know...I think I might be less than thrilled if that was the way I was approached. I mean...you see we're getting ready to go somewhere...but you want to stop me and chat a bit. I mean...you're time is more important than mine? Will I have to wonder if you're going to ambush me every time I go out my front door? These are things I'd wonder about.
I'm not sure if you were responding to my post. I hope not. That is not what I would do. I don't ambush people or chat them up as their getting ready to go somewhere. That sounds pretty intrusive to me. It might take weeks or months to meet people, or not at all. If it happened, it would be a completely natural meeting, like mowing the lawn or weed eating or gardening and talking across the fence or across the street. We absolutely do not force ourselves on people. The idea sounds repugnant to me. If you weren't referring to my post, then carry on....
I live in a Townhouse and have neighbors on either side of us. The townhouse on one side of us was empty for a few months but a few weeks ago a new couple moved in. I saw them come out of their home and went over to introduce myself. (We share walls so we have common interests.)
I was completely shocked by how cold and standoffish they were. They seemed insulted and bothered that I would take even a minute of their valuable time to approach them and introduce myself. Their reaction seemed to be that there was no reason to bother them just because we were neighbors. I just wanted to talk to them for a minute or less knowing how busy people are today.
My wife asked me why I even bothered because nowadays most people don't talk to their neighbors. So the new neighbors likely thought I was bothering them. They thought: "You live next door, SO?"
So, would you approach a new neighbor who just moved in just to say hello and introduce yourself?
Incidentally, my newest neighbor who moved into the empty town home next to me needed help and that's how we met. My other neighbor is an older single woman and we met her when we moved in.She actually brought us some baked goods at some point. The prior neighbor that occupied the empty house, we only knew each other by first name and may not have had more than a 5 minute conversation. However, he always cut our grass without us even asking and in turn, I did favors for him, such as clearing his walk of snow.
It is unfortunate that your new neighbors responded to your goodwill gesture with such resistance, especially after you took the social initiative to welcome them to the community. However, not everyone is receptive to meeting new people and have varying ways of responding, or not. With that said, if someone wants to be left alone, It's best to keep it moving and don't take it personally.
There are a myriad of reasons why people are standoffish, be it from a previous bad experience with a neighbor, or they are just leery of getting close to others in the proximity of their home. I'm not justifying it, but I understand and everyone's situation and persona is different. I will, however agree and endorse the fact that even a little courtesy goes a long way even if there is no intention of a friendship or acquaintance as a result of being neighbors.
I'll admit without reservation that I'm not a socially outgoing person initially and It takes me a while to warm up to people now. However, If you wave, say hello or introduce yourself, you will get it returned in kind.
I wouldn't introduce myself to my neighbors proactively. If they came to me, I'd welcome it. I'm just an introvert who doesn't approach strangers is all. The last time I spoke with any neighbors was a few years ago when my cat got out and I was desperate to find her. That's outside my comfort zone. That said, if there was a community function for the purpose of getting to know each other, I'd go and meet people. At least there I'd have a good excuse vs. a random approach.
I'd be fine, if there were new neighbors I ran into outside, who'd wave and come over to introduce themselves. Knocking on the door wouldn't work, because I don't answer, unless I"m expecting someone.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
