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I'm so sorry for your loss. That really does suck that people couldn't take the time out to pay their respects to someone who considered them a friend. I couldn't imagine not attending a friend's funeral. I lost a friend. she was only 20. And I could never forgive myself if I didn't go to her funeral. It's not about saying the right thing or even about me not handling it. It about giving support to the family and other friends. Just showing how that person has touch your life could give comfort to someone else. But nowadays people only care about themselves. Sorry.
Funerals are unpleasant for everyone not just a few. I've been so upset at viewings I've said stupid things to the surviving family like " Hows it going" and then seeing the pain in their eyes. Hope they knew I tried but was unable to voice what my heart felt.
Anyone that thinks that its easier for others is just making excuses for their lack of respect for the deceased and much needed support for the surviving family members. One of the things that helps in a loved ones passing is knowing that others loved them too and that their life meant something.
I personally don't believe in funerals and I don't want one neither does my husband. I also hate going to funerals or hospitals. I am sorry for anyone's loss but do a memorial or just send out notices. A card would be enough for me. Heck I don't even need that.
Funerals are more for the living and how the living copes with the loss. It's really not for the people who are gone.
I am sorry for your loss genius. That had to be devastating.
I found that I knew who my friends were in a time of need. Most were there for me but some acted strangely..
I heard the busy excuse too but my parents had a ton of friends and actually many were there.
I had not seen one of my friends in 10 years (but we would call each other even if 5 years passed and still pick up where we left off). I ended up seeing the obit in my old local news...(lived there for 29 years)so I read the papers!online..Glad this is a computer age now! and drove 8 hrs. since we couldn't get a flight in time out for the wake but made the funeral in the morning. My friend died of a brain tumor. He was only 39. I knew that was the last time to ever see him so I felt the need to go. I am glad I did. His parents were really happy to see me and were so surprised I came...but said, "Michael would be smiling from ear to ear if he knew you came"!
Some people do not know how to deal with death BUT you know something? Who wants to go to a funeral? No one particularly, BUT we don't think of ourselves. We do it for our friends/family! Maybe it's the way I was brought up. I don't know but I am there ......for my friends or family.
Exactly. I just am amazed at how people can defend this. Maybe they just weren't raised correctly.
I personally don't believe in funerals and I don't want one neither does my husband. I also hate going to funerals or hospitals. I am sorry for anyone's loss but do a memorial or just send out notices. A card would be enough for me. Heck I don't even need that.
Funerals are more for the living and how the living copes with the loss. It's really not for the people who are gone.
CPG I'm with you 100% on this one. You don't think about it...just go.
I don't think she realizes how insulting that argument would be to somebody who just suffered the loss of a parent, a spouse, a sibling, or a child. Essentially, she's dictating how somebody should mourn the death of a loved one.
I am so sorry to hear that you have lost both of your parents. Your friends here have offered several reasons why your situation happens and they all make sense. I think my only input, to answer your question, is that people today just aren't paying attention to personal connections. Only in the business sense does it make any difference to a lot of people. We are losing our ties to other people and replacing them with networking opportunities. Sad.
I would just like to suggest that while you try to absorb that kind of hurt, that you turn to the friends you do have and allow them to help you over your loss. I know it will take a long time, but you will learn to carry it, to make it part of your life. My best to you.
If I dont attend a funeral its not going to change the fact that a dear one is dead. But it will make a huge difference to ME that I had one last chance to see my dear one. It will make a huge difference to the family the loved one has left behind.
CPG I'm with you 100% on this one. You don't think about it...just go.
I have no problem being there for someone or helping a friend but why do we have funerals anyway? Sorry I just don't believe in them. It's not about growing up. Why are people's deaths dragged out. Handle the grief, get support from friends and family. Why do we need the show with all the people that haven't been in your lives for years. I'm not into shows. It's just too phoney for me.
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I knew that was the last time to ever see him so I felt the need to go. I am glad I did. His parents were really happy to see me and were so surprised I came...but said, "Michael would be smiling from ear to ear if he knew you came"! 
