Are you friends with your brother or sister...just because they are family? (father, presents)

[princesasabia]

I was friends with my brother because we enjoyed each others company, not just because he is family. For some reason after my brother found his last girlfriend and married her a few months ago he has been a total @ss. He doesnt call or talk to anybody in the family he even told me that he hates our family) and if you try to contact him he totally ignores you. Our uncle is a photographer and did my brothers wedding pictures for free and had been trying to contact my brother for a couple weeks to mail him free wedding pictures and an album he made and he NEVER answered the phone. I dont even know my brothers address we had to get it from his mother in law. My mother called him on his birthday and he never returned her call. I didnt even bother calling him on his birthday neither did my dad. Im so through with my brother I dont know what his problem is. Its not his wife either she talks to her family almost everyday so if we get updates about my brother its from his wifes mother. I just want to slap my brother.

[Urban Sasquatch]

I have two half-brothers and one half-sister.

I honestly don't really have all that much to do with any of them; then again, my family dynamic is totally screwed up.

One half-brother is about five years older than I and lives 2.5 hours North of me in Indianapolis. We associate some but I tend to communicate more with his wife, who is very sweet and has a lot in common with me.

The other half-brother is 14 years older than I and lives ten minutes from me. Despite that we have HUGE amounts in common, we never speak other than friendly platitudes when we encounter one another (purely by chance) out in public. He's a great guy, but our father drove an enormous wedge between us and the things about which we do NOT see eye-to-eye just seem large enough that neither of us really cares for the other's company. I find it very, very odd. Then again in many ways this brother is more like our father, with whom I have an absolutely awful relationship, while my brother worships the ground on which Dad walks.

The half-sister may mean well, but she's one of those women who was not only loose and easy as a teen (low self-esteem, she felt sex was the way to get a man's attention) but is convinced of her perpetual youth and spends these days attempting to run around with her girls-gone-wild daughters, dressing too young, wearing tons of makeup, drinking like a fish and hitting the dance floor with the younger crowd. She's four years older than I, an aging multi-divorcee with a terrible reputation in the city and we just don't associate. She contacts me on occasion and I talk, but it's always awkward for me because she'd like to pretend we're as close as we were when we were children and that's simply not the case. We barely know one another anymore and I have to watch out for the welfare of my family since she's the type to call from jail and want bail "because you're my brother".

On the other hand I've got friends I consider family and know we rely on one another no matter the time or distance.

I'm honestly not so certain blood is thicker than water, other than in technical consistency.

[gman6974]

I had a half sister that lived about 3 hours away that died a couple of months ago. We never really talked at all and I hadn't seen her in almost 5 years. My mom was upset because I wasn't grieving over it the way I was "suppose" to be.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to fake it over someone I didn't really know all that well. To me, that seems more disrespectful.

[nikkir386]

I like this topic. I am practically best friends with my brother who is 3 years younger, but we went through a lot together growing up. We were there for each during some very trying times, and I think that's what has help build a strong bond between us. However, my other siblings...there is a large age gap, so I can't exactly say what will become of my relationship them.

[TKramar]

My sisters and I live in different towns, and they have their own families to look after. It's not a big surprise that we don't really keep in touch other than maybe a shoutout on Facebook.

[2RUGGED4YOU]

Originally Posted by Dingler

I know alot of people who spend alot of time in friendly social engagements with their brothers and sisters but do not really have anything in common except they are family. If that same person was not related they would not have anything to say to each other and would surely not be friendly.

Are you sociable with your brothers and sisters? If so, is it because he or she is family or do you really enjoy their company?

I have a unique situation with my sister. We are twins and share things that normal brothers and sisters do not get to experience. Hence where the bad boy, tough guy and sweet, gentle, kind, considerate all in one personality comes from!LOL........... My sister has some hard a** in her too!LOL....... You are at one with each other and will always have a common bond that few siblings get to experience. It can't be explained and only twins understand what I am talking about! I wouldn't trade her for the world!

[Gudra]

That's awesome. I would have loved having a twin, esp a brother. Imagine having a ready-made companion for going out with. He can pretend to be your boyfriend when you don't like a man who approaches you and of course, you do the same for him! Do you resemble each other and have the same temperaments ?

[thatsong64]

I hate my bother (he's a year and a half younger than me) and I love my sister to death (she's 10 years younger than me). Yes my sis and I have a lot in common and my brother and I don't. But he's also a bad person and she is a good person so that makes a big difference... Although I don't think that the only reasons I love my sister are that we have common interests and she's a good person. I feel a strong family connection with her but not with my brother. I guess it's because he's messed it up so many times.

This is a good topic, but reading people's responses... There's no actual expanation why a person feels a strong connection to one sibling over another. Age must not really have anything to do with it, because we're all over the place as far as age gaps between favorite siblings. And I don't think anyone would say that they love thier brother or sister simply because of common interests...

hmm definetly something to ponder...

[thatsong64]

Originally Posted by janelle144

So tell me who else are you going to say, "Remember when mom did that or dad took us there.?"

You can't put a value on those shared memories. Even comparing your growing up memories are interesting. You were both there but experienced it differently. Never a dull moment if you don't get dragged down in holding grudges about past imagined hurts or even real hurts. Family will always be family.

I feel like you have no idea what you're talking about. Or else you're extremely naive. I don't think most of the people here who say they wish they had nothing to do with a sibling are saying that because there's some miniscule offense that they overreacted about or simply because they have different personalities...and sharing memories? Yeah that's great if the memories are good ones! Ever thought about the possibility that the overwhelming majority aren't that's why it's not so fun to talk about? Some people say family will always be family just to follow that up with "Now can I have 20 bucks? or else I'll just take it from your purse when I leave". So that's the reason for "holding grudges"? Then again, is it even considered holding a grudge if they keep doing the same things to you over and over? You don't have time to hold onto it because they're already doing it again! If the feelings of family only go one way, that's not really family, that's just a sucker.

So to answer your question: who will I share memories with? People who I have mutual love, loyalty, understanding, and respect with. They don't have to be blood.

[stan4]

Naw, me and my brother like the same kind of movies and tv, we like to golf, we like nice cars, we like to try new food, and he came to Hawaii with me (cuz our spouses were both busy working) when I had a conference there.