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I'm originally from Europe and moved to a small town here in NC about 3 years ago. I have to say, people have always been nice and friendly to me, and always ask me a bunch of questions about how it's like over there, etc. So I haven't encountered the unfriendly part at all.
However, I do understand what you mean when you say it's hard to make friends. And I mean, true friends. Sure, there are a lot of people I say hi to and talk to when I walk my dog or go to the stores, but true friends? Hah, I made .... one. And although I really like her, I wouldn't put her in my top 5 list of best friends. It's sad, really.
I get the feeling that unless you were born here and went to school here, you're pretty much screwed in terms of social life. People will somehow not go past a certain limit in their interactions and conversations, and I've been stuck into the small talk mode for a few years now.
That being said, I'm sure it's different in bigger cities. I've heard a few good things about Raleigh. I have personally made a few good friends in Greensboro, but the sad part is: they're not from NC. And God knows I've tried.
I just think people here don't socialize and mingle as much once they get married. I can especially sence that when I bump into women at the grocery store. Their priorities are: husband, kids, and church. And hey, nothing wrong with that, but when you have no kids, and are not religious ... well, you got a problem when it comes to making friends.
I think North Carolina has a lot of good sides, and it has its pretty areas. But it's definitely got it's down sides too, and making a bunch of good friends is just not on the positive list.
"I really hate it that Ed's Hardware is closing down, and that traffic on the bypass has gotten really bad. My kid came home with a strange accent after this school year. His teacher was from New Hampshire! Next year he'll be taught in a trailer. Farmer Nate's property taxes went up so much, he's having to sell his land. Plans are for another 500 home subdivision!"
"...but at least the school's rating is higher and we have that new wing on the hospital!"
We recently moved to Wilson , NC in January, hum, how shall I put this, The minute I open my mouth, a get a confused stare, the smile drops and the attitude changes. My children and I are having the hardest time making friends, or shall I say developing friendships, other than politeness.
It really amazes me that this day and age, with all the advances that people are so predjedus!! I grew up in a small town,and while there was always new people moving in, as long as they were a GOOD family, it did not matter to anyone how they talked, where they came from . Southerners don't want to be considered backwards etc., yet we get this response!!! Change is a fact of life and weather they want it or not, we are coming in droves, i think they better get over it , because this behavior only evokes anger and resentment, Come in open arms when we vacation and spend our money here, but try to mingle and live among them and well how dare we!!!Shoo us aside and maybe they will pack up and leave...Ever wonder how they economy has picked up in your town? Why there are more choices,restaurants etc.What ever happened to the more the merrier, good will towards mankind,what are we teaching our children???
It's kind of hard to take this post so seriously on how you feel about "this day and age and the predjudice" as you yourself are stating your "vent" in a higly prejudice manner (listens for the gasps). Reread your post, you start with a title that has Yankees in it twice. Next you move on to push it that all southerners act like this and better watch out you all are coming. Really what kind of statment are you yourself trying to get across; or is simply a matter of exclaiming?
Wilson has long survived without any huge influx from other areas, and you might want to remind yourself that not everyone is looking for choices in restaurants etc. and that might be what attracted people to these areas to begin with. And stating rubbish such as wondering this and that on the economy...well I will say you are just venting- and could not possibly think these people go to bed every night and ask for an influx of people to move here so the economy booms. Nor should you be expecting them to be grateful, as they are participating in the economy just as much as you feel you may be.
Now to the real issue here....you are saddened you are finding it difficult to form friendships, and to that I say I am sorry you are finding it difficult and hope it does get better for you and your children.
My cousin moved down to North Carolina from Pennsylvania several years ago. While both of her parents are from North Carolina, she grew up in Pennsylvania. Anyway, she said that the natives she met were very welcoming and friendly to her. It was the transplants (mainly from the east coast) that were the rude ones. Not all of course, but that's how she saw it. But she said the folks that moved in from western Pennsylvania, like her, were friendlier.
I also agree that you would have an easier time in the bigger cities of NC - Charlotte, Raleigh, Greensboro, Durham, Winston-Salem, Wilmington, Asheville, etc.
"I really hate it that Ed's Hardware is closing down, and that traffic on the bypass has gotten really bad. My kid came home with a strange accent after this school year. His teacher was from New Hampshire! Next year he'll be taught in a trailer. Farmer Nate's property taxes went up so much, he's having to sell his land. Plans are for another 500 home subdivision!"
"...but at least the school's rating is higher and we have that new wing on the hospital!"
For many it is hard to see the silver lining...
Maybe after going to this upgraded school, your child will recognize that the strange accent is really not that strange, just another American moving about the country (NH is part of the same country as NC)! And if you looked at Farmer Nate's bottom line, you'll see that he made out just fine selling off the farmland to the developers and has probably scooted off to some quiet mountain top area of NC (away from the hotspots) with money in the bank. And don't knock the new hospital wing: with all those Yankees showing up, ticking off the Rebels, your blood pressure is heading up! (this post was done with tongue in cheek ----- smile!)
... Many don't want Home Depot, Starbucks, and Office Depot. They want the local hardware store, local cafe/coffee shop, and local office supply store where the owner greeted them by name.
Some lifelong southerners blame the changes on "Yankees." Whether that blame is misplaced, I don't know.
Who is to blame? The people who say & do nothing when the farm is sold to a developer who lobbies to change the zoning on that parcel to allow for hundreds of homes where once a handful stood.
I also agree that you would have an easier time in the bigger cities of NC - Charlotte, Raleigh, Greensboro, Durham, Winston-Salem, Wilmington, Asheville, etc.
I hope you will find some good friends soon.
That's true. I think anyone moving into a small town with mostly natives may have a harder time fitting in.
Years ago, my dad thought that we would have to move to Ohio. We went there to check it out. It was a nice little town, don't get me wrong, but my dad's accent wasn't the norm for the area and he got some looks too. Some people even pointed that out to him in his face. But 30 or so miles away was Dayton, which was alot more diverse (most still mostly native Ohioans) and people really didn't look at him strange there.
While I think it's stupid to judge someone based on simply their accent, North Carolinans are not exclusive in that regard. Just read some of the other state forums and will see that even people who move within the same region face problems too.
Plenty of people come to NC from other parts of the country and get along just fine. Maybe the problem here isn't the good folks of Wilson.
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