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Old 01-24-2008, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Hughes County, Oklahoma
3,160 posts, read 10,621,625 times
Reputation: 1145

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Hey, I missed it.

 
Old 01-25-2008, 09:36 AM
 
Location: In My Own Little World. . .
3,238 posts, read 8,790,523 times
Reputation: 1614
Default funny one from a friend who doesn't think i'm nuts for moving to OK

[SIZE=6]A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.[/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6] The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?" [/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6]Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"[/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6] The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution p[/SIZE][SIZE=6]h[/SIZE][SIZE=6]oto.[/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6]The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .[/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6] Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. [/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6]Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-Tech Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."[/SIZE][SIZE=1][/SIZE][SIZE=1]< B>[/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6]"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.[/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6]He watches the young man select one ofthe animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. [/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6]Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"[/SIZE][SIZE=7][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=7][/SIZE][SIZE=7][/SIZE][SIZE=6]The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" [/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6] "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. [/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6] "Wow! That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" [/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6][/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6] "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a[/SIZE][SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6]herd of sheep. . . .[/SIZE][SIZE=2][/SIZE]

[SIZE=4][/SIZE][SIZE=6]Now give me back my dog.[/SIZE][SIZE=2][/SIZE]






[SIZE=1][/SIZE]
 
Old 01-25-2008, 09:37 AM
 
Location: In My Own Little World. . .
3,238 posts, read 8,790,523 times
Reputation: 1614
sorry the previous post was a little hard to read. i couldn't get it to change font size.
 
Old 01-25-2008, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Hughes County, Oklahoma
3,160 posts, read 10,621,625 times
Reputation: 1145
Hey, that was a funny story, Colleen.
 
Old 01-25-2008, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma(formerly SoCalif) Originally Mich,
13,387 posts, read 19,432,243 times
Reputation: 4611
.................................................. ......................colleeng47 wrote:

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?" Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-Tech Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves. That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one ofthe animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. . . .
Now give me back my dog.


That's funny
I don't think this forum is step up with text resizing, I could never resize either.

Last edited by mkfarnam; 01-25-2008 at 10:39 AM..
 
Old 01-25-2008, 01:59 PM
 
3,724 posts, read 9,325,183 times
Reputation: 1427
Quote:
Originally Posted by peggydavis View Post
Hey, that was a funny story, Colleen.
Very funny, and unfortunately, probably more true than not.
 
Old 01-25-2008, 02:32 PM
 
5,004 posts, read 15,353,570 times
Reputation: 2505
Now that was funny.
 
Old 01-25-2008, 10:31 PM
 
Location: Iowa, Des Moines Metro
2,072 posts, read 5,417,211 times
Reputation: 1112
haha too funny, the end is my favorite part.
 
Old 01-27-2008, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Duncan, OK
2,919 posts, read 6,829,959 times
Reputation: 3140
Yesterday we FINALLY got around to taking a trip to Lawton/Ft. Sill to get pics for SeabeeBolt and bjb123! Took a little over 700 pics... Now I just have to decide on my favorites and get them resized to post!

There were soooo many Prairie Dogs, and birds! Gulls, Geese, Coots, and Ducks of every color! (including one with a 'bouffant' hairdo... )

I got my first pic of a red-tail hawk, and one kestrel.

Friday, while taking pics of my 'yardbirds' a Hawk landed on the fence!! The sound of 30 doves all taking off at once startled me so bad I almost didn't get a pic of the hawk!


( I think I found my Nature pic entry... whoo hoo! )
 
Old 01-27-2008, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Hughes County, Oklahoma
3,160 posts, read 10,621,625 times
Reputation: 1145
That's great LadyRobyn. I know all the people PCSing to Lawton will appreciate you so much for your pictures. Hurry! Can't wait!
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