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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun, The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up... you're next!!"
a lady walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.... the pharmacist asks " ma`am , what do you want with arsenic?.. the lady say`s " to kill my husband " ... i cant sell you any for that reason " says the pharmacist... the lady then shows him a photo of her husband having sex with the pharmacists wife . he looks at the photo and say`s " oh....... " i didnt know you had a prescription
Comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband ...
A wife comes home late at night, and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Leaving the covered bodies groaning, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Hi Darling", he says. "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom … did you say,'hello'?"
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says to him, "Hey, we have a drink named after you."
The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Murray?"
I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!"
I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.
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