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I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me." So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!" I said, "$100 and it's yours."
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.
Thier weekend assignment was to sell something,then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30" she said.. proudly "My sales approach was to appeal to the customers civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next:
"I sold magazines" she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Jenny" said the teacher..
Eventually,it was Little Johnnys turn.
The teacher held her breath ...
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.. "$2,467" he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher,"What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes" said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher,
"How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand,I gave everybody who walked by a free sample."
They all said the same thing, "Hey,this tastes like dog crap"
Then I would say,"It is dog crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
"I used the governmental approach of giving you something crappy that they say is good,and then making you pay to get the crappy taste out of your mouth."
PART G
Medicare - Part G - Nursing Home Plan - A zero premium, no deductible Long Term Health Plan
Say you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself but the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what do you do? You opt for Medicare Part G.
The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the health care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!
And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. And now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes!
Is this a great country or what? Now that you have solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week!
Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
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A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied...
"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..
..I just lost it......."CASE DISMISSED!!"
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