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~ Life's a gift. Don't waste it. ~
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol . . . . . . Dead
The second worm in cigarette smoke . . .Dead .
Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . . Dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil . . .Alive!
So the Minister asked the congregation,
"What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . .
"If you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"
That pretty much ended the service.
PS: Don't ask me what the intended lesson was supposed to be. The joke teller didn't say. So we can only speculate.
A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. The religious man prayed every single day and night, spending much time at church, while the atheist never even thought of such acts.
However, the atheist's had a good life. An excellent, well-payed job, and a beautiful wife, lovely, healthy, children, whereas the religious man's job was stressful and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day ,and his kids were obnoxious, and non loving.
So one day, while deep into his regular prayer, he looked towards heaven and asked, "Oh God, I honour you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"
A great voice bellowed out from above, "BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"
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