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Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
24,447 posts, read 25,978,821 times
Reputation: 59793
A Cat’s Diary Compared To A Dog’s Diary Is Absolutely Hilarious
This classic dog versus cat diary has been circulating the internet for years, but it is always fresh and funny! The comparison between feline and canine is a hilarious riff on the stereotypical differences between our two favorite animals!
The Dog’s Diary
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He has obviously gone mad.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.
Although I do not know the author of this piece, I want to thank them for bringing a huge smile to my face!
Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
24,447 posts, read 25,978,821 times
Reputation: 59793
Hippos can recognise their friends' voices.
Wild hippos are noisy creatures, their calls travelling long distances across lakes and rivers.
But until now the precise function of the loud "wheeze honks" the animals make has been a mystery.
Scientists studying hippos at a nature reserve in Africa say the distinctive honks enable the large mammals to tell friend from foe.
And the team says the animals can probably recognise individuals from their "voices".
Study leader, Prof Nicolas Mathevon, from the University of Saint-Etienne, in France, has studied the sounds animals make across the world, from leopard seals to hyenas.
He said hippos have a wide vocal repertoire, including grunts, bellows, squeals and "wheeze honks", but very little is known about their social communication.
"In their call, there is information about the identity of the individual - so they have 'voices' - and they are able to recognise each other by their voices," he said. "This recognition ability supports the social relationships between individuals."
NicholasMathevon
The area has a number of lakes with different hippo populations
To find out more about hippo communication, French researchers recorded the sounds of hippos living in the Maputo Special Reserve in Mozambique.
The wheeze-honk is the most common hippo call and the loudest- travelling as far as 1km, according to the study.
The biologists recorded the wheeze-honks of hippos and broadcast these from the shore of lakes to see how other individuals responded.
They found hippos could tell apart friends, neighbours and strangers from their voices. In addition to telling apart friend from foe (or, at least, unfamiliar hippos), the animals can probably distinguish between individuals, according to the researchers - though they can't be absolutely certain of this.
And despite appearing to be lounging around on the water, the large mammals were clearly paying close attention to their surroundings and responded immediately to the broadcasts.
The animals responded more aggressively to unknown hippos - with quicker, louder and more frequent calls, often accompanied by territorial displays of dung spraying.
Prof Mathevon said it was important to learn more about the biology and behaviour of hippos to help avoid human-animal conflicts.
The knowledge might also assist with conservation, he said, as wild hippos are sometimes moved from one location to another to keep local populations healthy.
The work may inspire conservationists to make recordings to allow local hippos to get used to the voice of the new ones before they arrive, he added.
Hippos are not yet endangered in the wild, but their numbers are plummeting fast. They are a source of animal-human conflict, with hippos causing hundreds of human deaths a year.
Wild hippos are noisy creatures, their calls travelling long distances across lakes and rivers.
But until now the precise function of the loud "wheeze honks" the animals make has been a mystery.
Scientists studying hippos at a nature reserve in Africa say the distinctive honks enable the large mammals to tell friend from foe.
And the team says the animals can probably recognise individuals from their "voices".
Study leader, Prof Nicolas Mathevon, from the University of Saint-Etienne, in France, has studied the sounds animals make across the world, from leopard seals to hyenas.
He said hippos have a wide vocal repertoire, including grunts, bellows, squeals and "wheeze honks", but very little is known about their social communication.
"In their call, there is information about the identity of the individual - so they have 'voices' - and they are able to recognise each other by their voices," he said. "This recognition ability supports the social relationships between individuals."
NicholasMathevon
The area has a number of lakes with different hippo populations
To find out more about hippo communication, French researchers recorded the sounds of hippos living in the Maputo Special Reserve in Mozambique.
The wheeze-honk is the most common hippo call and the loudest- travelling as far as 1km, according to the study.
The biologists recorded the wheeze-honks of hippos and broadcast these from the shore of lakes to see how other individuals responded.
They found hippos could tell apart friends, neighbours and strangers from their voices. In addition to telling apart friend from foe (or, at least, unfamiliar hippos), the animals can probably distinguish between individuals, according to the researchers - though they can't be absolutely certain of this.
And despite appearing to be lounging around on the water, the large mammals were clearly paying close attention to their surroundings and responded immediately to the broadcasts.
The animals responded more aggressively to unknown hippos - with quicker, louder and more frequent calls, often accompanied by territorial displays of dung spraying.
Prof Mathevon said it was important to learn more about the biology and behaviour of hippos to help avoid human-animal conflicts.
The knowledge might also assist with conservation, he said, as wild hippos are sometimes moved from one location to another to keep local populations healthy.
The work may inspire conservationists to make recordings to allow local hippos to get used to the voice of the new ones before they arrive, he added.
Hippos are not yet endangered in the wild, but their numbers are plummeting fast. They are a source of animal-human conflict, with hippos causing hundreds of human deaths a year.
Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
24,447 posts, read 25,978,821 times
Reputation: 59793
Last night I das a date
Tonight I will have a fig.
Note to self:
Do not sit on the floor
Without a plan on how
To get up.
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